Luck be a lady tonight...

I just flew back from Las Vegas - boy, are my arms tired - so a few random thoughts:

Those guys who stand on the Strip trying to hand out cards to strip clubs or for call girls are absolutely relentless. Do those cards actually work? I guess they do, because they keep using them, but jeez, so annoying. They don't even seem to pay attention to who they are trying to give them to; I saw them trying to thrust them into the hands of old married couples and 14-year-old girls.

And apparently the LV police department doesn't care. I saw a gaggle of those guys handing out cards while a cop car was sitting right next to them. I have to think if the casinos put the word out, those guys would no longer be there. I wonder why they don't get them banned?

Speaking of LV cops, one of the funniest sights I saw was a guy dressed as Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow taking a picture of tourists who wanted to pose with LV cops. I was going to take a picture of him taking the picture, but it would have been too meta. Also, my battery was dead.

For the first time, I actually saw women with a Kate Gosselin haircut. Oy. God bless the Midwest and the hillbillies who live there.

There are a LOT of dueling piano acts these days. When and why did this become so popular? And come to think of it, how many Comedians of the Year are there in Vegas? Seemed to be a lot.

On my flight out there I was stuck next to maybe THE most annoying person I have been forced to sit next to for 5 hours. Not to be a snob - ok, who am I kidding, I am a snob - but one of the reasons I fly first class is to avoid the riffraff. Well, thank you Continental for putting me next to one of the most obnoxious individuals I have ever met. She was an elderly woman (God forbid I ever get stuck next to a hot little blond), late 60s probably, and, wow, she had to fucking comment on everything.

As we were sitting waiting for the plane to fill up, she had to comment on the weight of the people filing past: "In my days, we called that saddle butt." She had to comment on girls with tattoos: "I just found out, they call that tramp stamps." She actually commented on the size of carry-on luggage: "I don't know how they allow those on the plane, they're too big."

She wouldn't fucking shut up.

So even though I was planning to read a Nelson DeMille mystery, I quickly put on the headphones to watch TV. Didn't stop her. She kept tapping my shoulder to comment on what was on my screen. And here's the thing - she wasn't watching TV herself. I actually said to her, "Don't you want headphones?" and she said, "I have a good book I want to read." But she didn't! She just kept watching my screen and yapping. Fucking Baby Jesus. She was maybe the MOST annoying person I have ever been forced to endure.

I was already in a bad mood having to fly Continental instead of my beloved Virgin America, but I was coming from Philadelphia this time and Virgin only flies out of JFK, so I was leaving from Newark. I have to tell you, after going Virgin, you really notice the shoddiness of Continental now - the plane itself, the entertainment choices, the personnel (fairly surly.) Ugh.

Never again, if I can help it.

Although I do have miles, so, you know, case by case.