Congrats, Minnesota

Minn. Supreme Court Declares Franken Winner in Senate Race

I think Fat Ass Limbaugh's fat head just exploded. Bwahaha.

$284 later...

The GE repair guy just left, after replacing some fan thing - whatever.

The damn fridge is less than 3 years old. My old fridge was probably about 20. It was in the apartment when I moved in. It was still going strong, but, nooo, I had to get a fancy schmancy stainless steel.

America doesn't build things any more.

It's sad.

More Republican hijinks

Naked ex-mayor arrested at campsite

"A former mayor found sitting naked and holding a beer at a Rabun County campsite told police he wasn’t the same naked man seen walking around earlier.

Ranger Brandon Walls and a deputy sheriff went to the campsite Saturday evening after a complaint of a man walking naked in Earls Ford Road, according to the report. Musselwhite appeared to be intoxicated, and several alcoholic beverages were at the campsite, Walls said.

Walls said he had spoken to Musselwhite earlier in the day regarding an ATV the former mayor was driving.

“He looked at us and said hello,” according to the report.

Musselwhite then asked why he was being visited.

“I said the complainant had specifically said his campsite, and the fact that he was still nude made me think it was him,” Walls wrote

Musselwhite, a Republican, was elected to the City Council in 2000. He served on the council for six years, including as mayor of the town. In 2006, he lost a bid for a state Senate seat."

Bill Clinton was a freaking eunuch compared to these Republicans.

Does she use Linked In?

This might be longer than the lead story in The Times today.

But, you know, when you are writing to "Dearest," well, you want to speak from the heart.

Dearest, Kindly accept my apology for sending mail to you.I believe you are a highly respected personality, I am writing this mail with tears, sadness and pains. I know it will come to you as a suprise since we haven't known or come across each other before considering the fact that I sourced your profile from a human resource profile database on your country through Internet. I am Miss Esther John Garang 24 years old female from the Republic of Sudan, the Daughter of Late Dr. John Garang. Before my late father’s death in Uganda on 31st of July 2005, he was Vice President of Sudan and was kill by Sudan President Omar al Bashir in helicopter crash. You can read more about my father in the link below

(I'll save you the link)

I am constrained to contact you because of the maltreatment which I am receiving from my step mother. She planned to take away all my late father's treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my beloved Father. Meanwhile I wanted to travel to Europe, but she hide away my international passport and other valuable documents. Luckily she did not discover where I kept my father's File which contained important documents. Now I am presently staying in the Mission House in Burkina Faso. I am seeking for longterm relationship and investment assistance. My father of blessed memory deposited the sum of US$12.7 Million in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I had contacted the Bank to clear the deposit but the Branch Manager told me that being a refugee, my status according to the local law does not authorize me to carry out the operation. However, he advised me to provide a trustee who will stand on my behalf. I had wanted to inform my stepmother about this deposit but I am affraid that she will not offer me anything after the release of the money. Therefore, I decide to seek for your help in transferring the money into your bank account while I will relocate to your country and settle down with you. As you indicated your interest to help me I will give you the account number and the contact of the bank where my late beloved father deposited the money with my name as the next of kin. It is my intention to compensate you with 20% of the total money for your assitance and the balance shall be my investment in any profitable venture which you will recommend to me as have no any idea about foreign investment. Please all communications should be through this email address only for confidential purposes. Thanking you alot in anticipation of your quick response. I will send you my photos in my next email. Yours Miss Esther John Garang

Oooh, I want some of that money. And I bet she's good looking too!

GE sucks, they bring bad things to life...

This is how the U.S. ends, not with a bang, but with GE becoming just another piss ass company.

General Electric used to be - seriously - the mark of an amazing product.

The company was founded by Edison, for crissakes.

Dishwashers, jet engines, TV sets, can openers - not to mention products I don't even want to know about - but most of all, damn, their refrigerators were really, really good.

Not everyone buys a SubZero or a Viking. But GE fridges were a pretty nice product level.

I moved into my apartment a decade ago. And there was a GE fridge in the kitchen that probably was there since the building opened in the 80s. And it worked really good.

A year or so ago, doing an "upgrade," I got new stainless steel appliances - micro, dishwasher, stove and, of course, refrigerator. All GE brand.

Well, this week, the fucking GE refrigerator basically went kaput. The freezer part is going fine, everything in there seems to be solid - but the refrigerator part, eh, no.

I first realized it when I got stuck with a sour carton of milk a few days ago. Initially, I was ready to blame the milk people, then I realized the bottles of soda and beer weren't quite as cold as they usually were.

So I cranked it up to 9 - the highest level on the temp control - what no 11? - but still everything just didn't seem right.

Well, now, I'm fucked - stuck with a stainless steel paper weight. Because, of course, the warranty has ended after one year.

Oh, thank you GE. Thank you fucking Home Depot (where I bought this piece of crap).

If you ever wondered why America is no longer the economic powerhouse of the world, here's a hint: Blame GE. Blame Home Depot.

They sell shoddy pieces of disposable crap.

This is the real tragedy

Never mind what's happening in Iran. How can I spend an hour on the treadmill and it tells me I only lost 410 calories?

I'll get that all back just sniffing the cork on an amusing little pinot noir at dinner tonight!

I feel so inadequate

That Virgin America quiz was today, and I just "completed" it.

Ugh, let's just say it was not pretty.

Here was one of the questions: "While chatting with your college roommate, her mother borrowed the keyboard to ask you about sightseeing in their upcoming trip to the US: Hvilken stat har det største stadion i USA? For this contest, however, you should provide your answer in English. Hint: Use Google Talk to say "Hej" to da2en@bot.talk.google.com!"

Sigh.

Let's just say I probably won't be getting one of the free tix on Virgin. I really wanted one, love that airline, but, er, are they aware they are dealing with the American public and not the freaken' Japanese!

Now ask me who played Louis on Taxi and I'm going first class everywhere they fly (mostly on their Vegas leg, of course).

Oh well, maybe they'll do a pop culture test next time. Hint, hint.

Here's all you need to know about Mark Sanford

"As a congressman, Sanford voted in favor of three of four articles of impeachment against President Bill Clinton, citing the need for 'moral legitimacy.'"

Well, ok, he is quite the hypocrite - shocking, I know, a family values, right-wing Republican who is a hypocrite!!! - but he is also quite the email charmer. Here's an excerpt of a missive to his little Argentinian spitfire:

"I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night's light — but hey, that would be going into sexual details."

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

And we get to play that video again...

...for yet another Republican holy roller who was considering running for President in 2012. Buh bye, Mark, we hardly knew ye.

Has he tried a GPS?

Mark Sanford, the Governor of South Carolina, went missing over the weekend, just dropped out of sight for five days, no security detail with him, his wife didn't know where he was. "He was writing something and wanted some space to get away from the kids,” she told the A.P. on Monday.

(Nice for the kids to hear, by the way, that their father didn't want to be near them on, um, Father's Day.)

Anyway, when the press started asking where he was, his staff said he was tired after a long legislative session, and was "hiking the Appalachian trail."

Uh huh.

Ooops, well now it turns out, apparently he was in Argentina on a personal trip, driving along the coastline there.

That's a hell of a discrepancy. And from what I understand, the coastline of Argentina is not that accessible.

Hmm, something fishy going on here, wouldn't you say?

Oh, and do I even need to note, this guy's a Republican, of course - the party of weird, freaky fetishes. I'm pretty sure you can find a few down Argentine way. (It's also the party of hypocritical family values right-wingers who screw around. Paging: Larry Craig, Newt Gingrich, David Vitter, Rush Limbaugh, Mark Foley, John Ensign, etc., etc. - there's not enough room on the Internet to list them all).

Sanford better hope that what happens in Buenos Aires, stays in Buenos Aires.

Buffy kicks ass...on Twilight guy

Nice mashup here, showing why Buffy ruled for so many years.

Digital still doesn't quite compare

Eastman Kodak to discontinue Kodachrome

There's a new contendah

I used to think the Cablevision commercials were the most annoying ads you could see on TV.

Even beating out even such normal winners as Shamwow or the Snuggly, and simply because those attrocities really only show up on late night infomercials, you know, on Ch. 9 at 2 am - so if you see them, well, it's your own damn fault.

But the Cablevision ads, with those incredibly annoying jingles, can catch you during a Seinfeld rerun on Ch. 5 or TBS in late fringe.

But now, I have to say, there is a new winner.

Freecreditreport dot com.

Holy shit.

So BAD. So ANNOYING. So STUPID.

Not to mention, the service is a rip-off. You can get your credit rating for FREE by LAW. You don't need to use these clowns.

Please, Baby Jesus, make them stop.

Who are these brainiacs who read Too Saucy?

Another genius lurking out there is heard from. I posted recently about a contest Virgin America is running where you have to answer a series of questions within a time limit, using various Google apps.

They ran a sample quiz a few weeks ago, and, um, it is going to be freaken' hard.

Love that airline. Hating this quiz.

But some people keep leaving comments at that post, casually answering some of the questions: "#FF4F00 is the hex triplet -- a 7 digit code for international orange."

Or as another commenter explained in more detail: "just google the three things ("NASA Advanced Crew Escape Suits" "Golden Gate Bridge" "Tokyo Tower"), and you will find websites (including wikipedia!) about the color "International Orange". Just copy the HTML code for the color (it's on the wikipedia page!) and paste it in the answer!"

Of course. What was I thinking!

Jumping the gun

I thought my credit card was missing, frantically searched all over for it, even calling the restaurant I had been at the night before to see if I had left it there.

No, of course not. So I called Citibank to report the loss. The rep immediately canceled the card, even read back what my last charge was to see if it was one I recognized, Yes, it was mine - well at least no-one had used it.

She said she'd send a new card and account number within 3 business days. Fine.

I hung up and LITERALLY within 10 minutes - oh yes - found the card, stuck in the pocket of a pair of shorts I had on while doing laundry the day before. I had thrown it in the pocket in case I needed to add money to my laundry card and forgot about it.

Of course, I called back but they cannot un-cancel the card. Pain in the ass, topped off by the fact that I have several recurring charges on this card every month; TV, cell phone, etc - it saves paying those bills individually and I get reward points. But now the joy of having to reapply for the recurring feature with a new card number for all of them. Sigh.

Sometimes I'm too conscientious for my own good.

Sigh

I just booked for a couple nights stay at a Hilton in Florida.

I hate to think I'm somehow contributing money to Paris Hilton.

That's unfortunate

Girls, avoid slightly side view pictures in your bikini.

Even if you're Kristen Bell.

For old times sake

Aww, it's been a while since we've seen that picture, and this is as good a chance as any to run it.

It looks like Boy George hasn't lost his magic - his verbal acumen continues to astound:

"I told you I'm not going to criticize my successor," he said. "I'll just tell you that there are people at Gitmo that will kill American people at a drop of a hat and I don't believe that persuasion isn't going to work."

The seltzer water cartel

Are the oil companies now running the seltzer companies?

A 2-liter bottle of seltzer (store brand only - it's carbonated water) has suddenly went from 99 cents to $1.19 at both Key Food and C-Town.

How does that happen?

I can see it going up a nickel or even a dime - but 20 cents in one week? At both stores?

It's just fizzy water.

I love not having to drive, but....

Men-only train cars sought in groping fears

Well, that's in Toyko, but is there any way I can petition for a non-coughing, non-noisy subway car in Manhattan? One where the nudniks on the platform actually get in the car and move inside to the middle instead of just planting themselves at the door.

Oh, and one where strangers don't brush their legs up against mine while sitting on a crowded seat would be nice, too. OK?

Hey, here's some Japanese karaoke of Tom Waits tribute to the MTA.

Ha ha

Republican U.S. Senator John Ensign, a social conservative who had been seen as a potential 2012 presidential contender, admitted on Wednesday that he had an extramarital affair with a female aide.

Ok, I'm not a Biblical expert by any means - I know of many, many things, but some areas, like religion, not as well - but, er, doesn't it say something in there about not putting thy rod in thy staff?

Maybe not.

But this is certainly yet another case of delicious right-wing hypocrisy.

I'm pretty sure Ensign was at the head of the baying right-wing pack calling for Bill Clinton to be impeached.

Let's just do a quick Google (or Bing)....oh yes, here we go: "Ensign would call on Clinton to resign. "I came to that conclusion recently, and frankly it's because of what he put his whole Cabinet through and what he has put the country through," he was quoted saying at the time. "He has no credibility left," he added."

Do these family-value Republicans ever tire of being exposed as the hypocrites they are?

No Xmas tip for him!

One of my building's maintenance guys was doing some work in the gym this afternoon and started whistling "Camptown Races" as I was running on the treadmill.

I'm not sure if he was just happy in his work or calling me a horse.

And if the latter, it wasn't Seabiscuit.

More like Entenmann's Chocolate Chip Pound Cake.

Mmm, Entenmann's.

GOP hypocrisy? How can it be?

The right-wing loons are going crazy over David Letterman and his joke about the always classy Palin family.

What sad, pathetic people.

Remind me, again, by the way, aren't the right-wingers the ones always up in arms about "political correctness" and how evil it is?

You know, they make a few nasty jokes about black folks or gays and get in trouble - then whine about the PC police. Letterman makes a mild joke about the Alaska snowbillies and their dysfunctional family - OMG, IT'S SHOCKING, IT'S OUT OF BOUNDS!

Losers.

It's Florida 2000 all over again!

Apparently Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the George W. Bush of Iran.

Google killer?

Well, I've tried Bing, the new supposed Google-killer search engine from Microsoft.

It's quite good - actually does the job very well.

I have had Google set as my homepage for a while, and probably will keep it like that for the time being as it's easy to access my other Google apps (gmail, docs, etc) from it, but the Bing search is all right.

And, just like Google, Bing has Too Saucy as the number one result when you plug that in, so, you know, I certainly can't fault it there.

Why does this woman still have a column?

Recently busted for plagiarism, Maureen Dowd of the New York Times turns in yet another mediocre riff on on a pop cultural phenomenon she poorly understands.

She throws out this line: "As an explosion of pixels hits our TV screens this weekend, with the digital and high-def revolution, my unscientific survey shows women are less excited about high-def than men."

Er, yes, ok, men like high def more than women - wow, there's a new take - but the switch to digital broadcasting has nothing to do with HD. There's not going to be be any more or any less HD just because analog broadcasting ended.

Does The Times not have editors any more? I realize times are tough in the newspaper business, but really.

The cable nets better be all over this story next week

Ms. Knox said that she was at Mr. Sollecito’s house on the night of the crime, where the two smoked marijuana, watched a movie and had sex.

And that's her defense!

I'm loving this Amanda Knox girl.

I'd be scared shitless to date her, but I'm loving her.

Now if we can only get rid of the Sham-Wow guy

Six Flags amusement parks have filed for bankruptcy.

It's always too bad when a company gets in trouble, but if it means we won't have to see that little bald guy dancing to that annoying song again this summer in those endless commercials - well, you know, silver lining and all.

They call her "Angel Face"

I had vaguely heard about this Amanda Knox story on one of the tabloidy-shows, but never really paid much attention to it.

A 20-year-old American college girl charged with killing a roommate while on a semester abroad thing in Italy - and yadda yadda another person goes missing on a cruise ship, and another blond goes missing in Aruba or whatever, blah.

But, wow, this is actually the first story I really read about this case. It does seem like there's a bit of a railroading going on.

And, um, look at her.

Come on, that girl looks so innocent and in need of comforting.

Uh oh

Oy. I signed up to play a contest that Virgin America is holding later this month. It's a series of questions that you can answer using various Google apps (Maps, Calender, Picasa, Google search itself, etc.), and the prize packages include a netbook, 1TB Google Account storage, and - best of all - 12 one-way tickets on Virgin and complimentary WiFi passes.

They sent out a test run today, so I hopped on figuring it would be one of those silly company "quizzes" - you know: Who is Richard Branson, or What does the G in gmail stand for.

Um, no, they are quite difficult. One was: "This 5-letter word can mean a sequence of steps that demonstrate a valid conclusion or an action required for making bread. It’s also the name of an award winning play, which was then turned into a movie. What’s this word?"

Or: "What do the NASA Advanced Crew Escape Suits, the Golden Gate Bridge, and the Tokyo Tower have in common? Your answer is the 7-character code that a webmaster would use to represent this commonality."

A timer is ticking down as you answer, just to up the panic level, and if there is a tie at the end of the day, there's a "creative" question that has to be answered.

It's like the freaken SAT's.

Damn you Virgin (or Google, I'm not sure whose behind this deviousness.)

Speaking of Twitter...

I do some Tweeting for work, and it's sometimes a challenge to get your message across in the 140-character limit Twitter imposes, although that's also part of the fun.

But another part of the challenge is not to sound like a freaking idiot.

And that's something Sen. Charles Grassley, Republican (of course) of Iowa, failed at miserably.

Apparently upset that Pres. Obama was, you know, representing our country at the D-Day anniversary in France, after completing a highly successful speech and tour of the Middle East, Grassley took to Twitter.

According to The Washington Post, at 7 am on Sunday, Grassley sent out this Tweet:

"Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us"time to deliver" on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND."

A few minutes later, he followed with:

"Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said 'time to delivr on healthcare' When you are a "hammer" u think evrything is NAIL I'm no NAIL"

Er, ok. Maybe he's not a nail, but he's certainly a tool.

With crowds lining the streets of Paris to actually cheer the American president instead of boo him, as they would have Boy George - for that alone, the trip was successful.

But Obama's masterful speech in Cairo, the beginning, hopefully of the much-needed repair to our image caused by the previous administration, was vital.

And, Grassley, stop bellyaching because you had to - gasp - work on the weekend.

Millions of Americans work every single weekend, in crappy jobs at Wal-Mart and McDonald's and in other minimum-wage, soul-killing drudgery, and they don't whine as much.

Asshole.

10 grand a month to Twitter about wine?

There is a winery in Sonoma that is going to pay someone $10,000 a month to be their social networker - doing their Tweeting and blogging, etc.

Oy.

Ok, it's a bit of a publicity gimmick - they'll pay out $60,000 (it's a six-month deal) - but meanwhile they get a few million dollars in free press, like that LA Times article.

It's along the lines of that island in Australia that just hired someone to do the same thing, except that person also gets to live free in a luxurious beach-side villa at the same time as getting the money.

Sigh: why do things like this never happen to me?

Who did I offend in a previous life? (I know it must be a previous life because I'm such a good person in this life.)

It's just so hard to believe they are called the stupid party

Norm Coleman, the right-wing nut from Minnesota who has persisted in numerous court challenges to prevent Al Franken's election win as Senator, recently told a conservative group that the Republicans need to be able to compete better "on the ethernet."

Er, yes, and they must also crank out more press releases on the telefacimile machine, and maybe even use pagers and beepers more frequently. And then, the next step, acquire one of those new-fangled cellular telephone devices we have been hearing about!

Can Lindsay or Britney do something wacky again soon? Please.

I get daily email updates from US magazine - ok, since when did they become the official repository of all things Jon & Kate?

Every day it's something: Kate showing off her new bikini body, Kate's new hairstyle, Kate on vacation, Jon with his 23-year-old girlfriend (kudos on that, though!), the sister-in-law saying the kids are being exploited. Ya think?

I guess folks are eating this stuff up, especially when you see the ratings TLC got for the season premiere, but enough already.

"The last 2 pages are recipes, a lot of people dont even get that far"

How come Bud doesn't show this during the Super Bowl? Their Internet ads are much better than the TV vesions.

Clothes call

I had to go into midtown today and I decided to dress like a grown-up, so I wore my beautiful new Jos. A. Bank blazer (400 bucks, got for $165 - ka-ching).

So I leave my building, it's an amazing spring day in the city, I'm contemplating walking the whole way - and then I look down to adjust my sleeves, you know, pulling the shirt sleeves out from the jacket, and I realize that I had forgotten to take the damn labels off the blazer.

Not the paper label with the price, but those damn cloth labels that are welded onto the jacket itself.

Oy.

But now I'm running late and thinking, do I even have time to go back upstairs, find the scissors and cut these things off. Because you can't just pull them off, they are attached by some sort of titanium thread. If you try to pull them off, you invariably leave thread dangling or even create a hole on the blazer.

Luckily, my little Chinese laundry is on my block, so I stopped in there, they took them off in about 3 seconds, no charge.

But, seriously, why do they put those labels on the clothes?

And don't even get me started about how they sew the damn pockets closed. I've still got to take care of that!

The Crappening

I watched "The Happening" on Cinemax tonight. Oy. This seriously might be one of the worst movies I have ever seen - and that's saying something.

Has M. Night Shyamalan made a good movie since "The Sixth Sense?"

Magic 8 Ball says NO.

And how the hell does Mark Wahlberg repeatedly get hired to act?

Oh, and Zooey Deschanel, I thought you had better taste than this. Shame on you.

This concludes today's movie review. Thank you.