Lifetime for Men

This is pretty funny. I noted a few months ago that Lifetime movies seem to love portraying men as dogs, and The Onion now imagines a production of a new made-for-TV movie, "A Just Killing," if there was a channel called Lifetime for Men.

The film chronicles the painful ordeal of Gary Mulkeen, a fun-loving mechanic who meets a seemingly perfect woman, but must soon fight for his very life after she reveals herself to be a clingy, manipulative shrew.

"It's about one man's perseverance against impossible odds," said director Tom Dunlop, whose previous credits include the Lifetime for Men original films Suffocated Independence and Not With My Hard-Earned Money You Won't. "Hopefully Gary's struggle will inspire other men out there to empower themselves and stand up to frigid women who attempt to micromanage every last minute of their lives.

Lifetime for Men debuted the original television movie as part of its spring schedule. Other programs in the new lineup include the weekly drama series A Life Unburdened, starring Treat Williams as a man who enjoys a series of meaningless sexual encounters and then dies rich and happy, and the hit Catching Up, in which two old college friends get together to drink cheap beer and eat sandwiches for 60 minutes.

"At Lifetime for Men, we strive to create programming that reflects the unique problems and issues confronting today's man," said Lifetime for Men president and CEO Fred Rasmussen. "We like to think of it as sort of an entertainment roundtable, wherein we can finally address some of the frustrations that have been holding men back and keeping them from realizing their desire to do absolutely anything they want."