"I know I need a small vacation"

Nice blazer

An open mic caught MSNBC's Chris Matthews muttering, "Oh God!" when the GOP response to President Obama was delivered Tuesday night.

Of course when you've got Kenneth the Page delivering the response what else can be said.

It's a hot choc day

Almost as cute as Natalie Portman on the Oscars

I believe the term "ain't gonna happen" comes to mind

Ann Coulter, the fugly (inside and out) right-wing hack, was on Larry King, and guest host Joy Behar - who, by the way, is very good in that role; when Larry finally retires, I hope they give her the show - asked the mannish Coulter (who had said she would never date a liberal) would she change her mind if renowned liberal George Clooney asked her out on a date.

She said no.

Um, sure.

Luckily for Ann, I doubt she will ever have to make the decision.


Here's Clooney's girlfriend ---->


Here's Coulter. Shiny much?
<---

Remember when they just gave you frequent flyer miles?

Woof

I had to wear actual shoes today. Granted, they were Clark's desert boots, so actually pretty comfortable as those things go - but definitely not like my beloved Topsiders.


My dogs are barking! How do you folks do it?

Huh?

In an article about the bad feelings that have cropped up between George Bush and Dick Cheney, after Cheney unsuccessfully lobbied to get a pardon for his chief of staff Scooter Libby, a Cheney confidant says this:

“Dick Cheney is not a guy who is bitter,” Mr. Simpson said. “He doesn’t seethe, he doesn’t brood.”

Uh huh. And magic unicorns fly out of his ass!



Puh-lease. Look under seethe in the dictionary and there is a picture of the black hole where Cheney's heart used to be.

This is an outrage!

"Adult download tax proposal awaits climax in Albany"

Just raise the taxes on cigarettes and gasoline instead.

Thank you.

He's just not that into you

Texting while dating? That has to go up there with ordering the lobster on a first date and not offering to split the check.

Kittens and a roomba - what the Internet was invented for

Subject, noun, verb

I just watched Obama's town hall meeting in Indiana.

It's sort of nice having a president once again who can actually speak the English language, what, with all that high-falutin' book-larning stuff.

Okay, 1 more piece of equipment

Ugh, looking at my cavalcade of remotes, it may be time to swing for one of those all-in-one jobs that control every piece of electronics you own.

This is great

A compilation of spoiled celebrities in assholian tirades. (Definitely not safe for work.)

The smell is from Jersey? Shocking!

That sweet maple syrup smell that was reported in the city, everywhere from the Upper West Side to Rockefeller Center to the Village, even over in Brooklyn and Staten island?

It's from Jersey!

But of course.

Apparently it's from a food processing plant in North Bergen that "processes seeds of the herb fenugreek to produce fragrances." It's not a health hazard and the plant isn't violating any regs.

I guess we should be happy it's just a maple syrup smell.

Was it in 3D?

"Some Tucson-area pigskin watchers had their sensibilities extra offended last night when live coverage of the big game was interrupted by a 30-second burst of porn.

The clip, transmitted to roughly 80,000 Comcast customers, showed a woman unzipping a man's pants, followed by some in-your-face full frontal male nudity."

How come this never happens to me? My cable company is no fun. They never accidentally put porn on one of the channels.

Actually, I should just be glad I don't have RCN. They are one of the 3 cable companies here in NYC (along with Time Warner and Verizon FIOS - how many does your little town have? haha.) Anyhoo, apparently some Manhattan RCN customers lost their signal at a crucial moment in the big game. Definitely not as much fun as a sudden porn cavalcade.

Pick the freckley one

My friend Sarah came over Monday evening for some Omaha Steaks prime rib (!) - if I do say so myself, yum - and an amusing little Shiraz she introduced to the equation, and then, as always, she forced me to watch the guilty pleasure of "The Bachelor."

I was happy to see him get rid of the woman whose forehead looked like Capt. Sully could safely land a plane on it. Oy, that was a bad botox operation. Not to mention, her widow/single mother sob stories were getting very old. We get it. Sad. Not happy.

Sarah said she was the most mature one there. Um, yeah, that's what guys want.

My choice for the final pick is the girl with the freckles. I'm not even sure of her name, but she has adorable freckles, and I'm a fan of that. I believe she was also a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. Just saying.

My advice: pick her.

That is all.

Peter Hitler

I don't know why, but just the concept of "Peter Hitler" - Peter of "Family Guy" as the brother of Adolf, is very funny. "Free beer on this motherfuerher!"

It's on a pretty cool animation package over at Fancast, which includes some great "TV's Funhouse" from SNL. A few years ago I met Robert Smigel, who does those things. He really is a mad genius.

WTF?

"IOC accepts Phelps' apology for marijuana photo"

Oh, for chrissakes, what are we infants? Why does he have to abjectly grovel and apologize? He took some pot. Not during the Olympics, not in the middle of the Olympic Village. At a party in his private life. So what?

Give me a break. If he had been pictured chugging tequila, no one would have thought twice about it.

And it's not like pot could be considered a performance-enhancing drug, even if it had been around the time of a swim meet.

I don't smoke, but stop with the marijuana panic, already. How much money is wasted on the "war on drugs" every year? Didn't we learn anything from Prohibition? That really worked out well, didn't it. It was the beginning of the rise of organized crime in the U.S. and we've done the same thing over the last few decades now with drugs.