It's good to be king...

...as Mel Brooks said. It's hard to beat popping open a bottle of Jim Beam (red cap) with some Diet Coke on the side, surround sound blasting, and watching "Traitor" on the ol' 1080p HD.

Don Cheadle is the star. I first saw him in "Boogie Nights" several years ago, and even though he had a relatively minor role in it, I knew he was destined for stardom. I have such an eye for talent it's scary.

And she probably doesn't even like falafels

Jessica Alba schools Bill O'Reilly, noted genius, on her My Space page after the blowhard mocked her for saying Sweden was neutral during WWII.

Er, Bill, it was.

Jessica can explain:

"Last week, Mr. Bill O'Reilly and some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ) insinuated I was dumb by claiming Sweden was a neutral country. I appreciate the fact that he is a news anchor and that gossip sites are inundated with intelligent reporting, but seriously people...it's so sad to me that you think the only neutral country during WWII was Switzerland. Check out: Sweden_during_World_War_II if you want to see what I was referring to. I appreciate the name calling and the accurate reporting. Keep it up!!"

Nummy

I don't even know where it is on my cable lineup, but I think I have to find G4 and watch this "Attack of the Show" show - the co host is Olivia Munn, who should change her name to Olivia Yumm.

.

She's not going away

VP Annie Oakley is back.

She's now got a PAC and is apparently contemplating a run for the GOP nomination in 2012. To which I can only say - please, God.

Oy

Jessica Simpson is starting to look a little Anna Nicole Smith-ish these days.

Like a Rhinestone Cowboy

At this point in his administration, George W. Bush had probably already taken a vacation to "clear brush" or whatever the hell it was he always seemed to be doing for about a third of his presidency.

Better than a deposed Nigerian Minister of Finance

Wow, look at this girl. She just wrote me an email all the way from Russia.

"The thing is that I will work in your country for three months or so and I would like to meet a nice man to fall in love or just be closest friends.
I don't want to live in Russia because I have not any chances here,it is hardly possible to explain from first time but I want you to know my plans.I will work in any shop, bar or restaurant the agency that i am going through will suggest me some locations. It will be my choice in the end as to what option to go for. So I will have a simple work till I improve my English. And I can choose any town of your area,agency will only help me
to get a visa and all travel documents + some suggested placed to work in.....I will leave russia in two weeks or so (I can't tell you everything exactly right now) and I would like to be sure that I have the man who waits for me there. I will work all day and I want to find a man to spend all free time together to get to know each other better.if you have any interest to meet me I will be more than happy to meet you too."

Poor kid. And even though she is a looker, she is incredibly modest: "I know that I am not so beautiful like Hollywood Princess but I do hope to meet my Prince and I am sure he will be not be disappoined to meet me in the real life!"

Ok, her grammar and spelling need a little work, but, you know, English is not her first language.

If only there was something I could do to help her, maybe some money I could send her - but she probably wouldn't accept it.

Dickens, Hemingway, Rowling...Spears

"If the $14 million deal goes ahead (Britney Spears) will write between three and five books throughout the next decade - it's one of the most lucrative book deals in showbiz history."

I doubt she's read three books in her life.

See ya

A new bookmark

The official White House web site has changed.

You might want to stock up on your button downs now

From a Salon dispatch from a farewell party of Bush staffers:

The question I kept hearing was "What's next?" Some were applying to grad schools, others were heading to D.C. law firms or think tanks, and others were returning to their home states or traveling. One outgoing Treasury employee had already landed a job as a manager at Abercrombie & Fitch.

A Bush Treasury employee managing an A&F? Kiss that store goodbye - it will be a Caldor's within a year.

Already things are improving

I'm usually not a fan of those big tribute concerts with a lot of different artists performing, but I have to admit the DC concert today for Barack Obama was pretty good. Even Garth Brooks didn't suck.

I believe HBO is rebroadcasting it a couple of times Sunday night, and for free even if you don't subscribe, so I would recommend. (It really looked and sounded good on my 52' 1080p HD set. Thank you.)

Even the entertainment is already better under our new President.

But, you know, the Republicans could have put on a great show with right-wing stars too. They could have had Toby Keith and Kelsey Grammer and the chick who played the wife on "Everybody Loves Raymond" and, er...let's see...oh yeah, the Charlie Daniels Band. And of course that guy who gets dragged out of Branson, Missouri every 4 years to sing "I'm Proud to be an American" at GOP rallies, and...um, well I'm sure there are plenty of talented people who are right-wingers. I'll get back to you on that.

Those ferries

As amazing as the safe landing of the disabled plane was by the pilot, those ferry captains did an unbelievable job too. When you watch the video, the first one is on the scene within minutes, and then the other two are there seconds later. And all the captains managed to gently pull up alongside the plane, stay with it in that strong current, and their crews immediately got the passengers off the wings. One accidental bump by one of the boats into the plane and the passengers would have likely fallen into the water and probably drowned. (If you haven't seen this Coast Video video, the plane comes into the screen from the left at about the 2 minute mark.)

Some places just have free coffee

"D.C. Declares a 'Prostitution Free Zone' for Inauguration"

That's pretty good, because I'm guessing they're usually 100 bucks an hour.

I love that picture

Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa Bay

(Just an f.y.i to any Tampa Bay area readers of Too Saucy).

He's still here?

Bush is giving a final prime time speech tonight.

Jeezus, this guy has more farewell appearances than Sinatra.

Just go away, George. Stop trying to burnish your legacy. It's not going to work.

Twittering Madly

If you are a "Mad Men" fan - as most quality TV viewers should be - there is a fun blog out called Welcome to the Drapers, written as if by Mad Men's Betty Draper in the 1960's. (as played by the luscious January Jones, of course - raawwr.)

I found it when Twitter told me I was being followed by Betty Draper (this is on my work-related Twitter account, where I had written a post about Mad Men.) To be honest, the name actually didn't even ring a bell at first, until I clicked on it and saw what it was, so natch I started following her Tweets. They are also written in character from that era: ("Going into town, having a chicken almond sandwich at B. Altman's."

Then over the next few days, I started getting followed by the other MM characters, Peggy Olson, ("NYC does suit me. Want to move to Manhattan next year when the lease on my Prospect Park apt is up.") Ken Cosgrove ("Ahhh, I wish happy hour could last all month"), Bertram Cooper ("I've been hearing more and more about this "Vincent Price Collection of Fine Art" being offered by Sears & Roebuck. I'm skeptical.")

It's very clever how they do it. And very shrewd; they start you off with Betty, who is one of the more recognizable characters, then gradually add some of the ancillary players, and I'm sure the final add is Don Draper himself.

It's a fun way to keep you interested in the show until the new season begins.

I may have to steal this idea at some point.

Awww

The only trick my dog ever mastered was to come running when the electric can opener whirred.

Tastes like chicken...or maybe skunk

The other dark meat: Raccoon is making it to the table

Disgusting hillbillies.

Doesn't the south know it lost the election? They should just keep quiet for the next 8 years instead of making noise about their gooberish ways.

Stop disturbing the civilized parts of the country. Yokels.

Whew

The weekly email update from US Magazine simply said "Twilight Star Gains 26 Lbs."

I was afraid it was Kristen Stewart.

Luckily they were talking about some guy I never heard of, Taylor Lautner.

Was Alyssa Milano busy?

The principals of the latest marketing agency: Maria Bartiromo, Meredith Vieira, Tori Spelling and Susan Lyne. They, along with 22 other estimable names, including Ogilvy & Mather Chairman-CEO Shelly Lazarus, aren’t forming an agency in the traditional sense, but will be part of a panel offering marketing and general business advice to NBC Universal and its clients on how to reach women.
- TV Week

Because, you know, who wouldn't want advice from the star of "Co-ed Call Girl."

Why do they bother?

Does anyone not hang up, as soon as they get a telemarketing call and the first words are, "Don't hang up!"?

I'm not sure why I'm even getting the calls. I signed up for that Do Not Disturb regsitry and they did stop for a while, but now they are back. Tres annoying.

Growwrr

I have to stop reading restaurant reviews in the evening. When I read a review in the Times or the Observer or the Voice around 6ish, some of the dishes sound so good I get ravenous.

It's like the old never-go-shopping-when-you're-hungry thing, I guess.

They're real and they are spectacular

I see Anne Hathaway is nominated for a Golden Globes award this year.

Indeed.

People do enjoy hearing about a chubby billionaire

Oprah Winfrey is not happy with her current 40-pound weight gain, and she's doing something about it; She's focusing an entire week of her talk show to her goal of being healthy, fit and happy, and she's calling it Best Life Week.
- Fancast.com


Oprah’s first new episode of the New Year, in which the talk-show queen discussed how she felt about gaining 40 pounds and what she plans to do about it in 2009, was the show’s third-highest rated episode of the season.

The episode averaged a 5.7 household rating/13 share in the primary metered markets and a 3.2 rating/7 share among women 25 to 54, according to CBS Television Distribution.
- B&C

That spot better have been the size of New Jersey

"On the day Penelope Cruz was scheduled to do a sex scene with Scarlett Johansson, (director) Woody Allen saw a spot on his hand and left immediately to go see his dermatologist."
- NYT

He passed up watching a sex scene between Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johannson to go see a dermatologist?


That's what you call a dedicated hypochondriac.

Not all my TV viewing is junk

I actually don't watch a lot of junk TV. The occasional episodes of Kitchen Nightmares, Big Brother and The Bachelor - ugh, ok, maybe I do. But I love good shows too, like "Mad Men" which is sadly on hiatus. I just watched the pilot again, which is up on Fancast.com. It really is good, with all the little details of that early 1960s era - in the first few minutes of the opening scene, check out the heavy smoking and drinking, the casual racism of the restaurant manager.

Damn you, Fancast

I had totally forgotten that the season premiere of one of my guilty pleasures, "The Bachelor" was happening on ABC tonight and would have missed it and likely skipped the whole season, but then I saw it mentioned on Fancast, and now that I watched it will likely be drawn in. So much for bettering myself this year.

This, of course, is the superior version of the show: 25 good looking women fighting over one guy. Seriously, a lot of boobs, manes of hair, and great legs on this program.

Most of these girls were in the 25-27-year-old range. I don't know what is it, but they look so much more sophisticated than the 25-27 year-olds I know.

Also, the best line was during one of the commercial bumpers when the announcer said, "In a shocking twist, the girls turn against each other."

Shocking twist? Um, no, ABC announcer. That's the whole point of this show - watching the girls connive and turn against each other. They really are much more vicious and mean than the version when it's the guys vying for the girl.

Chip off the old blockhead

On "Fox News Sunday," former President George H. W. Bush defended his son's record. "His mother and father" are "very proud of him," Bush said. Host Chris Wallace pointed out that the former president had acknowledged some failures in his son's two terms and asked him to elaborate. "No! You can go back to your, what do you call it, your Google, and you figure out all that," Bush responded."

Oy.

Well, now we know where Junior got his tech-savvy brains from. W. once famously called it The Google.

So here's a fun little result from The Google for the Bushes to contemplate.

Bwahaha

Franken to be declared Senate victor in Minnesota

Author of one of my favorite books, and now soon to be a Senator. Limbaugh's big fat idiot head must be ready to explode.

Kudos, Minnesota.

Do girls not watch "Seinfeld"?

An ex just out-of-the-blue showed up at my doorstep today.

Do girls not watch Seinfeld? "Ohhh yeah, guys love the pop-in."

Random celebrity thoughts

Tom Cruise

I'm not sure why Tom Cruise is considered so out-of-the-zone wacky? Yes, ok Scientology. Yes, ok, the long-persisting rumor he is a closeted gay guy. But the thing that everyone always comes back to is the whole jumping-on-the-couch incident on Oprah.

Yes, it was a little over-the-top, a little too sickly sweet as he proclaimed his love for Katie - but I think he was actually just trying to be funny and cute more than anything.

Was that really the most bizarre thing that any star has done in recent years? Yet it keeps being mentioned.

This thought was spurred when I saw some press glee at the apparent box office bombing on his new movie, "Valkyrie."

Meanwhile the Number 1 movie last week was "Marley and Me." With Owen Wilson - who fucking tried to commit suicide. Yet you never really hear people say, "Oh, he's so weird."

Or how about Mel Cruise and his drunken anti-Semitic rants? Or Robert Downey, Jr., who has fallen off the wagon more times than a one-legged Amish guy?

But, no, apparently Tom Cruise is the weirdest person in Hollywood.


Heath Ledger

I finally saw "The Dark Knight" last night. (It looked spectacular, by the way, on my 52" 1080p HD set. Thank you.)

I kept waiting to get blown away by Heath Ledger, who, when that movie came out, all I heard was how mesmerizing he was, you couldn't take your eyes off him, Oscar material.

Meh.

He was fine, but I didn't see what all the fuss was about. I wonder how much of it was Post-Mortem sympathy talking?



Dane Cook

I also caught "Dan in Real life." It was passable, although if I see another movie about a sprawling, loving, quirky family, gathering at an amazing country home and playing touch football and cooking and laughing - ugh.

But I just don't see the appeal of Dane Cook. Why is he considered so funny? I don't get it.

I like bad girls

When I worked in midtown a few years ago, I used to pass a stretch of 7th called W.C. Handy Place every day, and, in my naivete, it meant nothing to me. Then I got the "Louis Armstrong Plays W.C. Handy" album.

Good stuff.

This was one of Handy's bigger hits (although for some reason in this movie they changed it to "Careless Love" when it's actually "Loveless Love") sung here by Nat Cole and Eartha Kitt, who, of course, just slipped off this mortal coil. Today we get Miley Cyrus and The Jonas Brothers. Sigh.

Did he do that?

Former Phoenix Suns player and NBA star Charles Barkley told police he was in a hurry to receive oral sex from a female passenger when he ran through a stop sign drunk early Wednesday, a police report states.

Barkley was returning from the Dirty Pretty Rock Bar near Camelback and Miller roads where he spent about three hours with a large group of 40 people, said owner Ryan Jocque. The party included actor Jaleel White, who played TV nerd Steve Urkel from the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, and football player Michael Strahan.
- Arizona Republic

He was partying with Urkel?

That is the most disturbing part of the story.