Sunday, November 30, 2008

I guess clip art of baby Jesus wasn't available

The president and the first lady invited leaders of America's Jewish community for a Hanukkah reception at the White House next month - but raised more than a few eyebrows by putting a picture of a Christmas tree on the invitation.

When reached for comment, Laura Bush's spokeswoman, Sally McDonough, said the White House usually prints separate cards, but in the waning days of the presidency, there had been an oversight.

"Mrs. Bush is apologetic," she said. "It is something that just slipped through the cracks."

Slipped through the cracks? Sure, sort of like the U.S. economy, the City of New Orleans, the war in Afghanistan, the environment...

How many days left until that stumblebum is out of there? I really need to find a Bush count-down clock for Too Saucy.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

You really shouldn't be online on Thanksgiving

But if you have to be...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Semi celeb nerdalicious sightings

Two semi-celebrity sightings in midtown today, but only good ones if you're a political nerd.

CNN's John King, looking very grumpy on Madison Ave - maybe because no one was paying attention to him or probably even recognized him.

And former Massachusetts governor William Weld on E. 44th, conversely looking very jolly. In fact, Bill looked like he had enjoyed a few holiday cocktails at lunch. And kudos to him for that, as he's one of the good-guy Republicans remaining.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Does it come with home fries?

Tough-guy conservatives

The right-wing in this country really is fucked up.

There has been some agitation over a recent video clip of Sarah Palin at a turkey farm in Alaska doing one of those ceremonial pardoning-a-turkey things that politicians love to do. After the ceremony, she gave an impromptu news conference in front of the turkey slaughtering area, and, as she's talking, you can see turkeys being fed into some sort of chopping device behind her, pools of blood gathering at the feet of the guy feeding the birds into this machine.

This isn't Palin's fault, turkeys get killed on turkey farms, although her media/p.r. people were asleep at the wheel in letting her be taped in front of it. But the tough guys at right-wing rag National Review's online blog, The Corner, decided this was a perfect opportunity to mock people who were upset at the video (lots of little kids saw it on newscasts), and decided to turn it all into a red state/blue state thing.

These are actual quotes from the last few days at The Corner.

From a clown named Mark Steyn:

"I didn't think I could like Sarah Palin more than I do, but the nancy boys at MSNBC bleating all over the screen about the Great Turkey Carnage is hilarious. After she's sworn in in 2013, I hope President Palin arranges for a ritual turkey slaughter to be going on behind her at every press conference, if only during David Shuster's questions."

From a post by a fellow named Byron York headlined, "Sarah and the Vegan Weenies" in which he approvingly quotes this email from a rugged reader:

"Because an increasingly large cohort of America in the lower 48 (and probably Hawaii) are p—-ies. They have no clue where their food comes from, they don't hunt, they don't fish, so they get to act all high and mighty about scenes like this. In Alaska, they have critters that consider humans food. Absent high powered rifles, humans are not at the apex of the food chain in Alaska. That will tend to give people a different perspective than the silk pantywaists in the lower 48."

So there you go, folks: nancy boys, pantywaists and p---ies. (That's their editing by the way - I guess actually spelling out the word pussies would tarnish William Buckley's great National Review legacy).

First, put aside the hilarity of Byron fucking York - that's him in the picture there - questioning anyone's manhood, but all of a sudden the great turkey kerfuffle becomes a chance for the he-man club that is NR to call liberals a bunch of faggots.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people?

Listen, I stand second to no-one in my love for animals. But, I admit, sadly, I am a hypocrite: I eat meat. I eat chicken. I eat turkey.

I know they have to be killed so that we can eat them. And when you live in a city or suburban setting, like most of America does, someone else has to do it.

I hope they are killed humanely, but who the hell knows?

The point is, yes, I am a meat-eating, animal-loving hypocrite - but, Christ, who wants to actually watch animals get killed, even if it is done humanely (and I'm not sure that turkey slaughtering was, but let's give the benefit of the doubt and assume it was). That's why people were disturbed at the Palin-turkey video.

But the tough guys at National Review celebrate it and turn it into a cause for merriment and some sort of bizarre political statement.

Yes, it's sure hard to believe the Republican party is now based in a rapidly decreasing little sliver of red states in the former Confederacy.

But it is strange that Byron York doesn't leave the genteel confines of Manhattan or Georgetown, or wherever the fuck he gets his hair styled, and move to East Bumfuck, Alabama, so he can work with his hands and maybe even kill some animals. He should bring Limbaugh and Hannity with him too, but bizarrely, these heartland-loving right-wingers don't seem to want to live there either.

Monday, November 24, 2008


How come I don't know any girls like this?

In a new installment of A Shot at Love, debuting Dec. 9 on MTV, a daring duo will replace Tila: bisexual twin sisters Rikki and Vikki, a.k.a. the “Ikki Twins,” models who’ve been posed for billboards, calendars, print ads and car magazines.

The identical twins will have their pick from twelve straight men and twelve lesbians, who will live under one roof and compete in challenges to win the hearts of their sexy hosts

Bi-sexual twin sisters.

And they say there's no God.

"A little more complex"

I don't know why, but this Family Guy clip always cracks me up. I just saw it tonight on one of the reruns for the 50th time and still couldn't not laugh. Well, I do know why it cracks me up, the concept is so absurd and tasteless - a musical of one of the most morbid movies ever made. Not to mention the look on Stewie's face. Good stuff.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Bah, humbug

Didn't they use to wait until after Thanksgiving before the Christmas songs started? I was in the Key Food today and was treated to "Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano playing over the p.a.

Meanwhile, they had the turkeys out for Thanksgiving and were still selling leftover Halloween candy (fun-size bags of Three Musketeers and Snickers for a buck - good deal!)

But three holidays all at one time in one store. Too much.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

White girls....

...really shouldn't try to dance like this.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I'm actually a fan of insecure-with-Ugg-boots-over-their-jeans girls

Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman

Olson twins fans - we salute you

This pretty funny "editorial" of a few years ago, "Mary-Kate Olsen Is Dragging Ashley Down" generated more hate mail than anything The Onion has ever done, according to an online chat by its editor.

Apparently lines like: "I cringed whenever Mary-Kate would appear on my TV screen, her clumsy, ham-fisted portrayal of the littlest Tanner devoid of all nuance and depth. And her incompetence was laid all the more bare by her sister's mastery of the role" or "Mary-Kate is not as good-looking as Ashley" and "Mary-Kate could also stand to lose a few pounds" were a little too subtle for fans of the tiny duo.

It's hard to believe American students are 23rd in reading comprehension in the world, just behind Nicaragua, I think.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Pizza, TV, remote control

In a new promotion with TiVo Inc., Domino's Pizza Inc. will begin taking orders using only a TV set from customers who have broadband TiVo service. When a customer forwards through a commercial for Domino's, TiVo will flash a pop-up advertisement that asks the customer if she would like to order a pizza, then direct her to a Domino's ordering screen.

Are they trying to make America even fatter than it already is?

Granted, it's Domino's, and why would anyone order from there. But you know people will use this.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Ooops, she did it again

There is the always classy Sarah Palin - you know, the woman the GOP said was ready to be a heartbeat away from the presidency - at the Republican governor's meeting in Florida, a couple of plastic cups of frozen margs beside her as she jams chips down her gullet.

I wonder when she's going to shave her head and start making drunken runs to 7-11 with a TMZ camera crew following her.

Almost as good as that wet t-shirt thing

Ahh, a Victoria's Secret photo shoot. Seriously, what is in the water in Brazil? They grow them stunning out there.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Sudden and very random realization

I haven't seen a good wet t-shirt contest in years. Do they not hold them anymore?

Friday, November 14, 2008

Hakuna Matata and pass the meth

As I nerdily surfed over to the Anchorage Daily News web site to see if they had an updated count on the senate election battle between (typically corrupt Republican) Ted Stevens and his Democratic challenger, there was BIG news on the home page.

Not the election returns - The Lion King road show is coming to town. Yee haw.

Oy. That show sucked when I saw it 5 or 6 years ago. And they are just getting its suckiness next year. And it is front page news!

It's no wonder Sarah Palin-land is the crystal meth/date rape/hillbilly capital of the western world.

By the way, not making fun of the ADN, it's actually a decent newspaper and did some great reporting on VP Annie Oakley during the campaign, while the national media was in its initial swoon over her. It also endorsed Obama for president, knowing Palin as well as they do.

But it is sort of fun to see a story about a crappy Broadway show playing for 6 weeks in town and being front page material.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The people ride in a hole in the ground

If you've ever wondered what it looks like under the sidewalks of old New York, New York, this can give you an idea, where they are building the new Second Ave subway. Which, by the way, will not only be more convenient to me than having to schlep over to Lexington, but will add value to my apartment. Real estate values increase the closer it is to a subway line, so thank you taxpayers and mass transit riders.

It's actually a little hard to see from the angle I took that pic, but there is an astounding cacophony of cables and wires under there, for Con Ed, Time Warner, Verizon, gas, water. And now, of course, all the extra wiring that will be going in for the subway line and platforms. They actually had to move the Con Ed pipes from one side of the street to the other.

UPDATE: A commenter points to this very interesting blog, The Launch Box, which has much better pix than I took with my cell phone.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Ka-ching and mooo

$3.39 for a gallon of milk at the little kosher deli across the street from my building. (I don't even know if it has a real name, it's just the kosher deli.)

Meanwhile, the same gallon at C-Town is $4.29, and forget the Key Food where it is $4.69.

How can there be such a discrepancy?

Sunday, November 09, 2008

People are annoyng #28c

It's amazing that even in a week where I feel good about the whole political tsunami, my fellow man manages to piss me off. Especially in supermarkets, which seem to really bring out the misanthrope in me.

Now, I have complained before about how annoying those people are who insist on paying for their tiny little $2.35 purchase with a card and can't seem to do it smoothly, making a transaction that should take 30 seconds take about 3 minutes, while I'm stuck behind them in the cashier line.

But the really annoying people are in the aisles.

I was at C-Town today and was ready to go postal twice (it's probably a good thing I don't drive - I can't even imagine what my road rage would be like.)

Ok, first I'm standing behind some yuppy jackoff at the cheese area. This guy was seriously the stereotype - and I am not exaggerating - he literally had iPod earbuds in as he stood there in front of the area where the cheese I wanted was. But he was just STANDING there, not picking up any, not sniffing any - just standing there as if he was hypnotized.
Despite my rantings, I am really not a bad guy, and I gave him some time to pick his fucking cheese. But - literally - he stood there for at least a minute. After some well-deserved sighing and fidgeting, but none of it apparently heard over his Moby soundtrack, I finally had to nudge him aside and say, loudly, "Excuse me." Then he was all apologetic, "Oh, sorry. Do you need to get in?"

Yes, dipwad. Did you think this was all for you?

Then it was the produce aisle.

Occasionally, I buy a grapefruit So there is a girl with one of those plastic bags, already filled up with about 10 grapefruits, and she was still going.

Well, I could see, just by looking at the grapefruits in the bin, even from my distance behind her, that they were all from the same batch - they all had the same color, the same consistency - they were all the same.

But this nitwit had to pick them up one by one. She squeezed each one. She put one back, she put one in her bag, she put the next one back, she put the next one back, she put one in her bag, she put the next one back...but they were all the same!

I gave her about 30 seconds and again said excuse me, reached over and got one.

First, what kind of freak buys 12 grapefruits? But, did I mention? They were all the fuck the same.


Who are these people?

I would seriously pay extra money to get a designated time in the supermarket just to avoid them.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Whew...and ka-ching

Just back from a mad dash to Best Buy. I realized the sequel to "Resistance: Fall of Man" was released this week for PlayStation 3 and I wanted to get over there and pick it up before the schools let out and the video game section is crowded with kids playing Guitar Hero, the annoying little bastards.

I got it, and, with my Reward Zone points, paid only $4.39 for it. Ka-ching indeed.


I'm in the wrong business.

It's lunchtime at a pub in lower Manhattan.

For about an hour and a half, a group of men will pound down beers or drink hard liquor and sometimes even do shots.

However, when they leave the bar, they're not headed home...they're going back to work. The group of men are New York State court officers, in charge of the safety and security in one of the nation's busiest criminal courts. They carry guns, can arrest people, and handle some of the most dangerous criminals you can imagine.

If I have a glass of wine at lunch I get frisky, but, sadly, I never get to arrest people.

Thursday, November 06, 2008


Nothing original here, but I sure hope the Obamas go for a rescue dog from a pound and don't patronize a puppy mill.

And there are kittens, too, who need homes, but there may be allergy problems.

But how great is Thor?

Yee haw

"Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast"

And that's a McCain operative describing Sarah Palin and her family.

Let me tell, you, there is nothing sweeter than seeing Republicans line up to destroy each other. And, according to Newsweek, damn, the finger pointing for the election debacle is well underway:

While publicly supporting Palin, McCain's top advisers privately fumed at what they regarded as her outrageous profligacy. One senior aide said that Nicolle Wallace had told Palin to buy three suits for the convention and hire a stylist. But instead, the vice presidential nominee began buying for herself and her family—clothes and accessories from top stores such as Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus. According to two knowledgeable sources, a vast majority of the clothes were bought by a wealthy donor, who was shocked when he got the bill. Palin also used low-level staffers to buy some of the clothes on their credit cards. The McCain campaign found out last week when the aides sought reimbursement. One aide estimated that she spent "tens of thousands" more than the reported $150,000, and that $20,000 to $40,000 went to buy clothes for her husband. Some articles of clothing have apparently been lost. An angry aide characterized the shopping spree as "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast," and said the truth will eventually come out when the Republican Party audits its books.

That's a shame.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Wow that bubbly gives you some dry mouth the next day

It's a little cloudy today in NYC, but it seems very sunny. I was at a viewing party last night, and, with the hubub, couldn't really hear the on-air babbling of the talking heads as the night progressed, but every time a state turned blue there was a cheer. As the only political scientist in the room, I had to tell my more politically unaware friends, after both Pennsylvania and Ohio were called for Obama, that it was basically over, and we didn't really need to wait till the West Coast polls closed at 11 eastern time.

I also got a very nice and classy congratulatory text from one of my right-wing friends - yay RD. And a snarky one from a bitter one - boo FO. A bitter, defeated man if ever there was one.

One of the great things about the election result is that America is already being seen in a way more positive light by most of the world. Remember, the negative sentiment we have seen directed our way from around the globe over the last few years was not because they were anti-American, they were anti-Bush and his disastrous policies. As this NYT article makes clear, Obama has restored our appeal not only among our allies, but among our adversaries:

Even in lands whose leaders are no friends of Washington -- such as Venezuela and Iran -- the election outcome cut through official propaganda to touch some people.

“It’s kind of nice to feel good about the United States again,” said Armando Díaz, 24, a bookkeeper in Caracas, Venezuela, where Enrique Cisneros, a storekeeper summed it up like this: “A few hours ago, the world felt like a different place.” In Iran, too, some said the American example should persuade politicians closer to home to adopt similar political ways.

‘’His election can be a lesson for the dictators of the Middle East,” said Badr-al-sadat Mofidi, the deputy editor of the daily Kargozaran newspaper. Some in Iran focused on their hopes for a change in American attitudes towards their country. ‘’The nightmare of war with the United States will fade with Obama’s election,” said Nehmat Ahmadi, a lawyer.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


Essentials taken care of

Wow, the lines were huuuuuuuuuge at my polling place on the UES. And, let's face it, NY is going to go overwhelmingly Democratic (Praise Baby Jesus and Allah), so most of these people know that their individual vote would not tip it one way or the other - not that anyone around me was likely voting for McCain anyway - but it was still good to see everyone waiting patiently.

Then I stopped by Mr. Wright's and got a bottle of bubbly and a bottle of cheap rotgut brandy - drinks to be determined by how the evening progresses.

That is all.

Radio silence

As always, on election day, I am a nervous wreck, and even though the polls look good for Obama right now, you can not underestimate the Republican party's ability for dirty tricks and shenanigans. (Hello, 2000, Gore wins by some 600,000 votes, yet somehow Bush gets appointed president - and we know how well that worked out.) So who the heck knows what is going to happen.

So I will be on radio silence for most of Tuesday, not answering calls except for business (RD - use the 212 number) because I can not stand to hear from some of my more right-wing friends.

Although, if things go as hoped, I may come to the surface mid-evening and send a few gloating texts after the networks call the election.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Breaking news

Forget the election, this is huge.

Bachelorette Star DeAnna Pappas Calls Off Engagement!!!!!

Who could have saw this coming?

Sunday, November 02, 2008


I'm totally in a daze today. I set my clock back the hour last night before I went to sleep. This morning, I woke up at about 10:30, and, in my sleepy haze, forgot I had already set it back and said, "Oh, that's an hour faster than it really is, why the hell am I awake at 9:30 on a Sunday?" promptly fell back to sleep and didn't wake up until about noon.

All you inventors out there, I need you to come up with something for that, some sort of marker we can put on our clocks so we know if we've already set it back during the time shift. Thank you.

Blog Archive