Zzzz

A crane collapsed not far from my apartment today. Of course, I slept through the damn thing and didn't know anything had happened until I woke up, turned on my phone and there were 20 voicemails from people making sure I was okay.

This crane nonsense has to stop though.

Oy

TMZ has learned Clay Aiken is going to be a daddy. In case you didn't process that, Clay Aiken is going to be a daddy.

Well sure, and Ryan Seacrest was dating Teri Hatcher for a while too.

Hollywood - what a town!

What the....

So I'm walking up York Avenue this morning, don't ask, and passed this place.

The nerve.

Luckily they didn't go for the whole name or there would be a massive trademark infringement lawsuit going on here.

Actually, the menu looks pretty interesting, so I might have to check it out one day. And it said Thursday is ladies night. Very discriminatory, but on the positive, it usually means lots of tipsy cute girls.

An hour of your life you will never get back

The premiere of Denise Richards: It’s Complicated drew a 1.57 household rating in 56 metered markets, according to E!, delivering a 15% increase in its time period at 10 p.m. over last year and doubling its lead-in audience. Actress Lindsay Lohan’s mom also drew a strong metered-market debut with the premiere of Living Lohan, which premiered after It’s Complicated at 10:30 p.m. Living Lohan delivered a 1.46 household rating, up 50% from the time period the year before.

Would anyone admit to watching those two train wrecks, or would that be like admitting to cannibalism or beastiality? You just don't do it.

Who would have thunk it

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The spokesman who defended President Bush's policies through Hurricane Katrina and the early years of the Iraq war is now blasting his former employers, saying the Bush administration became mired in propaganda and political spin and at times played loose with the truth.

I love how these guys all suddenly see the light when they are out of the White House and have written a book, never when they are in the middle of shoveling all the bullshit.

But at least he is finally admitting what everyone knows. The best part is the angry reaction from Bush loyalists like Karl Rove, who says Scott McClellan sounds like a "left-wing blogger."

Hmm, so telling the truth = left-wing blogger. Lying and propaganda = Bush White House. Ok, thanks for clearing that up.

Finally

The weather turned nice just in time for the holiday weekend after a week of damp, gray and chilly.

It's also Fleet Week so there are thousands of sailors strutting around town, much to the delight of some of my hornier friends.

I saw three in their dress whites in Central Park today, and it reminded me of the scene in "On The Town" where Frank Sinatra, Gene Kelly and Jules Munchin vow to see as many NYC sites as they can in a 24-hour leave. (I guess they only had Fleet Day back then.)

It was one of the first big budget Hollywood movies shot on location and includes some Park scenes in the famous opening number.

You lie down with dogs...

...you get up with fleas. And it's good to see John McCain and Republicans in general being hoisted on their own petard with the lunatic right-wing Christian evangelicals they always court.

After the GOP tried to gin up a phony controversy over Barack Obama's pastor, Jerimiah Wright, McCain has now been forced to disavow the endorsements he received from two wacked-out ministers.

A tape surfaced of one of them, Rev. John Hagee, saying that somehow Hitler was God's instrument to move the Jews back to Palestein.

Many of these right-wing nutjobs profess great support for Israel, both in words and even by giving money (Hagee has given $30 million over the years to Israeli causes), but they actually do it not for an affection toward Jews but because they believe in a fundamentalist Biblical theory The Times delicately describes as, "premillennial dispensationalism, a literalistic approach to biblical prophecy that places a special emphasis on the role of the nation of Israel in the end of history."

The Middle East may very well end up being the cause of the end of the world one day with all the religious strife over there, but it ain't going to be because of God.

The GOP has tried to mix religion and politics for years, and Jerry Falwell, now roasting slowly in Hell, was just one of the more famous examples. Pat Robertson is another creep everyone knows. Guys like Hagee are less well-known but just as odious, so it's good to see his poison bite McCain in the ass.

The real tragedy

Forget Darfur, the earthquake in China or the Bush presidency - the real tragedy is the battle to get out of Manchester Cathedral. I have been trying to get past that level on "Resistance: Fall of Man" on my Playstation 3 for the last week.

And it's ruining me. I have literally been up until the wee hours every night for a week now playing the damn thing. You have to complete each mission until you can proceed to the next one, and every time you get killed you start over again at the beginning of that mission. It's like the worst Groundhog Day ever. And every time I get killed, I say, "Okay, just one more try, then I'll quit for the night." Next thing I know, the sun is coming up.

I had company over Sunday night and she was, er, perturbed that I was sitting there playing PS3 until 4 am. Literally 4 am. My ass was dragging all day Monday. I'm still feeling woozy.

A crack addiction would be healthier. At least I'd pass out and get some sleep.

No wonder she drinks

"Living Lohan," featuring Lindsay Lohan's mother's efforts to promote sister Ali Lohan’s career, will also be used as a promotional vehicle for the Las Vegas properties of the Maloof Bros., who will produce the E! reality show, Daily Variety reports. On the show, Ali Lohan stays at the Maloof's Palms Casino Resort while her brother Cody is a ballboy for NBA's Sacramento Kings, also owned by the Maloofs, the newspaper says.

Jeezus, the whole damn family is basically cashing in on Lindsay's fame. It's not hard to see why she's become a bit of a wreck these days.

Two for one drinks, three for one Ks

I had drinks with the K girls Monday, all three of them making a rare appearance at the same event. (You know how the president and vice president are never supposed to fly on the same plane together in case it crashes, the Ks usually don't drink together at the same bar.)

But it was Little K's birthday, she's all grown up now – and may I say, grrowwr, she really is.

Although I actually didn't get to talk with them too much, because, as is usually my lot in life, I ended up sitting at the end with a bud, listening to him kvetch most of the night, so unfortunately no wacky K stories to tell.

But it was actually the first time I got to speak to any extent with Special K – the mysterious, enigmatic K girl. It ended up somehow that I was supposed to buy her a drink for something we were gabbing about – I think it was a cable vs. satellite thing. Then again, her damn sister owes me about 9 drinks by this point, so I'm not sure how that would even work out?

They are a cute funny group though, and can talk your ear off. That's when the half price Jack Daniels at Chill Lounge comes in very handy and puts you in that comfortably numb state of mind by 9ish.

A quiet evening though. The Ks have to do some better shenanigans next time. Thank you.

Oy gevalt

To coincide with the fifth season opener of Bridezillas, on June 3 WE tv is having ten brides climb a 15-foot slice of wedding cake, dressed in full wedding gown attire, in New York City's Times Square. The first bride to reach the top and grab the bouquet will win $25,000 for her upcoming wedding. Bridezillas begins June 1 at 9p.
- Cynopsis

Well, at least they're not making them do anything too demeaning.

The Bush-McCain War stumbles on

Read this grisly story and get disgusted as the U.S. fights to "bring democracy to Iraq" one dead body at a time:

Two weeks after The Observer revealed the shocking story of Rand Abdel-Qader, 17, murdered because of her infatuation with a British soldier in Basra, southern Iraq, her father is defiant. Sitting in the front garden of his well-kept home in the city's Al-Fursi district, he remains a free man, despite having stamped on, suffocated and then stabbed his student daughter to death.

Abdel-Qader, 46, a government employee, was initially arrested but released after two hours. Astonishingly, he said, police congratulated him on what he had done. 'They are men and know what honour is,' he said.
- The Guardian

He stomps his 17-year-old daughter to death because she had a crush on a British soldier and now he's a hero.

Nice war you've given us here, Republicans.

And suffice it to say, this sort of crap didn't happen under Sadaam Hussein, you know, that evil dictator we had to overthrow because of 9-11, er, no, Weapons of Mass Destruction, no, um, he was brutalizing his own people...yeah that's the one.

But, good news - John McCain says we can get out of Iraq maybe by 2013. Hey's it's only five more years of the war we've been in now for five years, 4,000 dead Americans, God knows how many dead Iraqis, and incidents like this "honor killing."

I don't like it

Chase Manhattan has introduced new ATMs where you can make a deposit, either money or a check, without filling out a deposit form or putting it in one of those envelopes. You just put in your card, hit deposit and insert the money or check into a slot. It supposedly scans what you have deposited and gives you a receipt for it.

Now, I never deposit cash money into an ATM - does anyone, by the way? I mean, really, who puts money into an ATM? And I sure as hell wouldn't trust just letting it go loosely into the machine - but I occasionally have to deposit a check.

Today was one of those days. It was only a $50 check from Verizon, the mail-in rebate for the new phone I got a few weeks ago. (And kudos to Verizon. It said allow 6-8 weeks for delivery and I got it in less than three. I digress.)

So I'm reading the instructions, put in my ATM card and get my account on the screen, hit deposit, the thing starts flashing and I slide in the check which it scoops up and - nothing. After a minute, it spits it out and says it cannot be read.

Wonderful.

But they have taken away all the deposit envelopes, so now I had to go into the branch, fill out a regular deposit slip and stand in line for a teller.

A transaction that would have taken about 30 seconds with the old machines ended up taking about 5 minutes.

That's some kind of progress there, Chase.

Assholes.

Oy

Paris Hilton, her sister Nicky and her mom Kathy are making the jump to the PC screen starring in 6-part miniseries sponsored by Kathy's My Secret perfume and produced by New York-based For Your Imagination. A Day With the Hiltons follows a mother-daughter duo who won a trip to LA to shop and dine with the Hiltons. TV Guide Broadband will syndicate the series through existing relationships with YouTube, Hulu, Veoh and other affiliates.
- Cynopsis

Second prize is two days with the Hiltons.

What a guy

WASHINGTON (AFP) - US President George W. Bush said in an interview out Tuesday that he quit playing golf in 2003 out of respect for the families of US soldiers killed in the conflict in Iraq, now in its sixth year.

Oh, good, as long as he's sacrificing.

It would have had more fantasy scenes than "Harry Potter"

Oops, it looks like someone at the McCain camp decided this might not be such a good idea:

"Cindy McCain, wife of Senator John McCain, the presumptive Republican nominee, has decided not to write her memoir after signing a book deal with Viking last month.

"When Viking announced the deal, it said Mrs. McCain would “write about her views and feelings concerning family and years of service; her meeting, courtship and marriage to John McCain...”

Now those would have been some good chapters. She was a multi-millionaire beer distributor's daughter, 20 or so years younger than McCain, who, wouldn't you know, happened to be already married to his first, older wife.

He dumped the first wife, the one who stood by him during his Vietnam days, and goes for the rich young trophy model.

(Ok, well at least we know he is genuinely a Republican).

If Cindy had went ahead with her book, maybe she also could have even touched on some current topics, like how he uses her private plane to jet around the country to skirt campaign laws. Or how they don't release her no-doubt voluminous tax returns each year, even though the other presidential candidates were badgered to release their spouse's tax forms.

I get the feeling there's a wealth of stories - so to speak - just waiting to be revealed with Cindy McCain.

Bleh

A drizzly Friday in New York, which means I can't go to the Park, but I guess that means fish & chips and Guinness at my fav Irish pub on Second over The Daily News.

This weather always puts me in the mood for NY songs though, so here's two from Simon & Garfunkel, and not even any of their biggies like "The Boxer" (with those whores on 7th Avenue) or "The 59th Street Bridge."

Starting with "The Only Living Boy in New York" and Paul Simon's intro with an interesting story of how he came about to write it.




Then, speaking of the Park, a nice video that someone put up on You Tube. It looks like it's basically their NYC vacation video over a soundtrack of "A Heart in New York" from S&G's classic live concert on the Great Lawn. That concert shows up on HBO occasionally and is definitely worth checking out. Those guys were really good. (And one of these days I suppose I will be motivated enough to put a video like this together too.)

Another Republican stalwart

Representative Vito J. Fossella, a Staten Island Republican who was arrested on May 1 in Alexandria, Va., and charged with drunken driving, issued a statement on Thursday acknowledging that he had had an extramarital affair with Laura Fay, a former Air Force lieutenant colonel, and that the two of them have a 3-year-old daughter together.

The prospect that Mr. Fossella could face a mandatory jail sentence if convicted had already threatened to bring to an end his decade-long career in the House, where Mr. Fossella is the only Republican representing New York City. The Daily News has reported that Mr. Fossella called Ms. Fay for help after his arrest and told officers that he was on his way to Grimm Street, where Ms. Fay lives, to visit a sick daughter. As speculation swirled over Mr. Fossella’s relationship with Ms. Fay in recent days, his aides said only that they were good friends.
- NYT

The lone Republican in New York's congressional delegation is apparently a member in good standing of that hypocritical "family values" party he belongs to.

Good times.

Hillary on the Supreme Court?

Just a suggestion, if she doesn't want to continue in the Senate, (and assuming Barack wins the 2008 election) why not appoint Hillary Clinton to the Supreme Court?

It's an incredibly influential job she can have for life, she can replace one of the current moderate judges who are getting up there in years, and - most importantly - act as a major counterbalance to the right-wing wackjobs on the Court like Scalia, Thomas or Roberts.

Contrary to popular belief, you don't actually have to have been serving as a judge to be appointed a SC Justice. Usually they are, but it's not a requirement. A president can nominate anyone he wants. And Hillary probably knows more about the laws of the land than anyone out there.

Kudos

Big kudos to the inventor of the apple martini, truly a giant in the pantheon of inventors.

I haven't been to the fab happy hour at Uptown in a while, but spent a nice chunk of Wednesday night there, where the 'tinis are $6 all night long.

Let me just say a few Big Apple martinis, and also some chocolate martinis, can go down real easy.

I think my bud Sarah may have went into diabetic shock about an hour ago, but I'm doing just fine. Thank you.

Sigh

Ryan Seacrest might be adding hosting duties of another kind to his schedule in 2009. A source from within CNN says that Seacrest, who has filled in for his friend Larry King in the past, is involved in "serious negotiations" to take over “Larry King Live” around year’s end. King told The New York Times in April 2007 that Seacrest would be his first choice to take over the show when the time came.

“He’s the classic generalist,” King told the Times. “The only thing I don’t know, and I’ve gotten to know him pretty well, is how versed he is in politics, world affairs. Does he read the paper? Is he interested in Iraq? Because if he is, he’s going to be very good.”
- MSNBC

Yup, because that's the guy who should be discussing politics and the Iraq war on national TV.

Capers and crimes and plots, oh my

One wonders which is more twisted, the minds that carry out a myriad of crimes, from polygamy to kidnapping and assorted other shenanigans, or the mind that dreamed up a cool new website that focuses on them.

But Americans love their crime stories that's for sure, so check out CrimeJunkies.com.

And I love the mug shots at the top - what a motley looking group of people. Hey, is that Michael Jackson?

Let the games begin

I think it's safe to say it's all over but the shouting. It's very very unlikely now that Hillary Clinton will get the Democratic nomination, it looks like it's going to be Obama vs. McCain in the general election.

I was tending to lean toward Hillary between the two Dems, but will, of course, happily vote for Barack Obama come November. The choice between him and John McCain is stark.

My biggest concern with Sen. Obama is that he does too much of the "let's all get together, this is a transformational election" crap. I understand why he is doing it, but I just hope he is ready for the slime that's going to be thrown his way in the general - and he better be damn ready to hit back hard at the GOP when they start the garbage. Those people can't run a government very well, but they know how to run sleazy campaigns.

If Obama thinks Clinton and her team were tough campaigners, he ain't seen nothing yet. The well-oiled Republican slime machine no doubt has an oppo research folder on him as thick as the Manhattan phone book.

But the question is pretty easy for voters: do you want four more years of Bush light (without the genial disposition) or four years of beginning to extract this country from the mess Boy George and his team have left us in, at home and abroad.

It's not even close.

“Eating barbecued iguana...”

I did Sirius satellite radio Tuesday evening - “Blog Bunker” channel 110.

It was nice.

Of course, you know me, total dick that I am, I can't leave it at that without some kvetching.

The host, Joe Salzone, was pretty cool. A bit conservative – although I'm guessing his Ron Paul groupie stuff is a shtick – but he was funny.

But naturally a few things perturbed me. After the broadcast, I asked if I could get a copy of it, and the producer went into some legalistic conniptions about how Sirius doesn't allow that.

Well, okay, I'm sure it is indeed against company regs, but, seriously, who actually goes along with that shit? You make a CD real easy and give it to a guest...no-one knows, and, let's be honest, no-one cares.

Worst of all, though, as we were going on the air, I (semi) jokingly asked for a splash of Jack Daniels with my Coke and she literally sputtered at me: “We can't!”

Oy.

Oh well – a few more months in this big bad town and she might get over all the corporate brainwashing, just like everyone else in the media business does. Then she will be as fun as the rest of the producers I consort with.

Although who knows, maybe radio is different? Maybe it's actually filled with super-good people and not the derelicts I'm used to on the TV side.

Who is advising this guy?

WASHINGTON -- Sen. John McCain moved to shore up his support among conservatives by pledging Tuesday to nominate strict-constructionist judges to the federal bench.

"It will fall to the next president to nominate hundreds of qualified men and women to the federal courts, and the choices we make will reach far into the future," the presumptive Republican presidential nominee said during a speech at Wake Forest University in North Carolina.
- CNN

How exactly has the McCain camp come to believe that a good campaign strategy is promising more of the same of Bush?

Don't they see the polls the rest of us do showing George Bush is the most unpopular president since, oh, I don't know, Idi Amin? Do they not notice that an astounding 80 percent of the American people think the country is on the wrong track?

But, no, he's promising to continue an incredibly unpopular war and to carry on the same disastrous social and economic policies. McCain is literally and figuratively throwing his arms around George W.

I'm glad he is - but it is somewhat strange.

Of course, it's telling that he feels he still has to shore up the conservative base of the GOP. Even though he's begun a major panderfest, reversing his positions on tax cuts and immigration policies to fall into line with the right-wing mindset (so much for Mr. Maverick), they still don't really trust him.

Blah

Forget Iraq. This is the real tragedy:

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds engaged

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Scarlett Johansson and her boyfriend, Ryan Reynolds, are engaged. The 23-year-old actress and the 31-year-old actor have not set a wedding date, Johansson's publicist, Marcel Pariseau, said Monday.

Stop the handwringing

There's a lot of angst among some Democrats because Hillary and Barack are continuing to fight it out for the party's nomination, taking shots at each other, battling it out in the primary states while John McCain has already wrapped up the GOP nomination.

There's fear among some that this ongoing battle will weaken whoever the eventual nominee is and let McCain win in November.

Jeezus, stop the chest beating, people. This fact, somewhat buried in a new NYT poll, suggests it ain't going to happen:

"For all the concern voiced by some Democrats that the party might be suffering damage from the nominating fight as it headed into the fall election, the survey found both Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama in a strong position against Mr. McCain in a hypothetical general election match-up. Mr. Obama would defeat Mr. McCain by 51 percent to 40 percent among all voters, the poll found, and Mrs. Clinton would defeat him 53 to 41."

While it's way too early to take those poll numbers as gospel, it's a pretty good indicator that for all the D infighting, it's not a good year to have an R after your name if you're running for office.

George W. Bush, bless his incompetent little heart, has managed to damage the Republican brand in ways we can't even imagine.

From the ongoing, poorly managed debacle of an unnecessary war in the Middle East, to the economy going in the crapper, from the government's clear incompetence in the wake of Katrina, to the corruption and sexual shenanigans of various GOP congressmen, Republicans are about as popular as Michael Jackson at a childcare convention.

Hell, the GOP just lost a special election in a deeeeeep red congressional district in Louisiana that they have held for decades. If they are losing there, I don't think Grampa McCain, who is pledging to basically continue a third Bush term, not to mention keeping us in Iraq for 100 years, could be elected national dogcatcher.

Let Clinton and Obama fight it out, get the stronger candidate, and then go to town in the general election.

Same shit, different day

It was literally two years ago, May 2006, I wrote this excerpt in a post about Barbaro, the champion horse who broke his leg at the Preakness and had to be killed, er, sorry, put to sleep:

But, every day, to amuse man, or make him money, Barbaro, and other horses, are put at risk for the “sport” of racing. We only hear about the famous races, the Preakness, the Derby, and the like, but horse racing goes on every single day. And we have to ask what are we doing to these creatures?

When a race car driver gets behind the wheel on a track, he puts his life at risk - but he has a choice in the matter. He knows what the risks are, and he choses to do it. No one is forcing him. Race horses don't have that luxury.

I know we've had the so-called sport of kings with us for centuries, and there likely always will be horse racing, it's not getting banned any time soon. And, sure, the horses seem relatively well treated and healthy, and they no doubt have better lives than those poor horses I see attached to a carriage and pulling some fat goober from Iowa around Central Park in the middle of a sweltering Manhattan summer day. But we should still ask how much is it worth putting these race horses' lives at risk to give us pleasure?

And now with the horrible death of Eight Belles at the Kentucky Derby over the weekend, it's time to ask again - why does this crap go on?

Nice in theory, not so good in practice

As I've said before, I will gladly be pulling the lever for Barack Obama if he ends up being the Democratic nominee, as appears increasingly likely.

But one aspect of his campaign that troubles me is his unwillingness to play the rough and tumble politics you need to go up against the Republican slime machine. The GOP can't run the damn country, but they sure are good at running dirty campaigns.

The Obama camp's tenderness is seen in this quote from his campaign manager, David Axelrod, in a Times piece about the GOP's use of cheap symbolism to define their opponent:

“The question,” Mr. Axelrod said, “is whether given the abysmal state of our economy, given the war, given all the challenges that people sense we face that have led George Bush to have the lowest rating ever, do you believe that voters are going to be distracted from the fundamental need for change? I think the answer to that is no.”

I think the answer is yes.

After eight years under Boy George, the country sure is in abysmal shape, the economy is tanking, the war grinds on - but do not underestimate the ability of the American people to be bamboozled by bullshit issues, the type of issues Republicans are masters are throwing out to muddy the way.

Hell, look back no farther than the 2004 race. Decorated war hero John Kerry, injured in combat in the Vietnam war, running against draft dodging, coke inhaling George W. Bush whose daddy pulled strings to get him out of combat and into a cushy National Guard assignment - an assignment that he didn't even complete, no less!

Yet somehow Kerry was morphed by the sleazeballs running Bush's campaign into an effete Easterner, a liberal whose war record and patriotism was questioned on a daily basis. Don't think those "Swift Boaters" aren't just lying under their rocks right now ready to slither out and begin their work on Obama.

Say what you will about the Clintons - they know how to hit back and hit back hard when they are slimed. There is a reason Bill Clinton was the only Democratic president since FDR elected to two terms. There's a reason he was at 70 percent approval in the polls, the very day the GOP impeached him for getting a bob job.

Obama and his team better get ready for the slime that's going to hit him if he's the candidate. (And, of course, some of it has already started, with smarmy comments made about whether he wears a goddamn flag pin in his lapel).

The Obama team better be ready to put aside their high-minded thinking that somehow times have changed so much, and that people won't be distracted and fooled by the constant GOP sleaze. They better be ready to hit back damn hard when the nonsense starts.

That's a shame

Poll: More disapprove of Bush than any other president

A CNN/Opinion Research Corp. survey indicates that 71 percent of the American public disapprove of how Bush is handling his job as president.

"No president has ever had a higher disapproval rating in any CNN or Gallup Poll; in fact, this is the first time that any president's disapproval rating has cracked the 70 percent mark," said Keating Holland, CNN's polling director.
- CNN

I mean, ok, we're mired in an endless bloody debacle of a war in the Middle East, our standing in the world as a beacon of liberty and justice has plummeted, the booming economy he inherited is inexorably sliding toward recession, homes are being foreclosed, gas is approaching $4 a gallon...and, oh, why not throw in the loss of one of the nation's great cities, as New Orleans was allowed to drown.

And, what the hell, 9/11 happened on his watch.

But, you know, other than those things, is he that bad?

Cough.