It's never been a secret that when people die after long and distinguished careers, the detailed obituaries that major news organizations seem to produce almost instantaneously were in fact written well in advance.
But now the news that the Associated Press has prepared an obituary for 26-year-old Britney Spears has put the spotlight on a debate within the business of reporting death: With people grabbing the celebrity spotlight at a younger age, and some of them living lives of obviously dangerous excess, is it time for news organizations to begin preparing for early exits from celebritydom's under-30 crowd?
I seriously feel bad for this girl. An AP obit ready to go at age 26.
And it is stunning how far and how fast she has fallen. You know, a couple of years ago, she was basically unobtainable, and now any drunken idiot in a club or a sleazy paparazzi can and have got to her. And every night, programs like TMZ show her careening around L.A., obviously troubled and on the edge.
I said it before, and I will say it again: where are the damn parents in this trainwreck? Too busy dragging in publicity whore Dr. Phil, I guess. Do I have to fly out there and take control of this situation myself?
I would have any one of these troubled girls under control within a month.
And a beach house in Malibu, too, of course, but, come on, that's only fair.