Helpful hints

My gift of savviness to you:

It's my annual - actually every two years - period of shopping around for a new phone, as my "New Every Two" $100 rebate kicks in next month with Verizon Wireless.

I've been eyeing the LG Voyager and found that the Circuit City on 86th Street (and probably most of their stores) has a small Verizon section with a dedicated salesperson. They don't have as many models as you can find in a Verizon store, but they have all the popular ones - and it was so much easier to get help and play with the phones there than in the actual Verizon store just up the block on E. 86th.

Whatever you do, stay away from that one!

The salespeople are clueless. If you ask three different salespeople the same question, you can easily get three different answers. Where do they find those guys?

Also, regular readers may remember my kvetching recently about catching a computer virus and having to reload my Windows XP operating system and therefore lose all my bookmarks, music, etc.

Well, on the bookmarks front, I found a great site called my.foxmarks.com which saved my butt from having to re-enter them all into the new system.

You simply create a free account with a user name and password, and, assuming you use the Firefox browser - which I hope you all do as it's MUCH superior to Internet Explorer - it basically pulls in all your bookmarks from your computer and syncs them onto its site. This allows you to log into your account from any computer and access them. When I loaded in the new XP system, I went back to the my firefox page, it retrieved all my saved bookmarks and put them back on my browser.

And, of course, now I can log onto my account on any computer in the world and use my bookmarks on it too. Beautiful.

Ouch

"The Beast Is Dead"
- Former NYC Mayor Ed Koch commenting on Rudy 's mortifying loss Tuesday in Florida

Despite the crowing of some Republicans that Rudy 9iu11iani was going to roll to victory in November after being named their triumphant nominee, well let's just say Tuesday's Florida primary was not a good night for the thrice-married, cross-dressing, fear-mongering, authoritarian, adulterous boor.

In fact, as I predicted two years ago, in the midst of Rudy's then glowing poll numbers and the huge amount of money raised and the name recognition and the media gushing - he ain't going to be the GOP nominee. In fact, he's dropping out of the race following his humiliating loss in the Sunshine State, where he had lavished all his money and time over the last few months after realizing he was going to get creamed in the Iowa and New Hampshire primaries.

Don't doubt my power of political prognostication.

He's still here?

Wow, how much do people not care about George W. Bush anymore, and just want him to get the hell out of Dodge.

He delivered perhaps one of the most lackluster and meaningless State of the Union addresses ever. But, of course, what the hell could he brag about? His great foreign policy? The war? The wonderful economy? The way his government leaped into action to rebuild New Orleans?

9/11 9/11 9/11. That one isn't even working for Rudy these days.

My friend Sarah came over Monday night for my famous Omaha burgers (with some Amy's chili and a delightful cabernet sauvignon) and was balking at watching the speech, but since she was getting fed, I had TV veto power and wanted to see it, if only to annoy myself.

But I made it better by telling her about the Bush speech drinking game (I think Wonkette invented it) where you have to take a shot of tequila or Scotch every time he mentions 9/11, Islamic terrorists or mispronounces the word nuclear.

We only had Scotch and got slightly buzzed (she was cheating though, and not really taking a shot, claiming she doesn't like Scotch. Heathen!)

But listening to him blather on, I actually think Boy George has fallen off the wagon himself.

How much longer are we cursed with this man in the White House?

Oh yeah:

Prioritize, people

A friend called me today to ask if I was going to an upcoming party we had both been invited to. (I'm so magnetic, people plan their party-going decisions as to whether I will be there.)

Anyway, about 10 seconds into the call his other line rang and he took it, and was away for about 3 or 4 minutes. Of course, I was fuming.

When he got back I was yelling, "Dude, you called me and then put me on hold for another call?"

It reminded me of nothing so much as when I've been at a store dealing with the cashier and the phone rings and they take the call and start answering questions and leave me standing there like a schmo the whole time.

Why does some lazy slob on the phone, who is probably sitting at home in his underwear, get any priority over a live customer in the store?

So annoying.

What was she thinking?

Ok, does anyone else find it somewhat bizarre that when Heath Ledger's masseuse found his comatose, possibly already dead body, the first call she made was not to 911 but to Mary-Kate Olsen?

How strange is that?

Everyone knows Ashley is the medical expert.

Moral dilemma

So I'm standing in line at the Key Food this afternoon (by the way, there was some amusing graffiti there; they have the road and sidewalk tore up in front of the supermarket as they're building the new Second Ave. subway line, and there's a temporary bridge built from the road to the door on which someone wrote "Bridge Over the River Key." Who knew construction workers liked puns?) I digress.

Anyway, there's an old guy in front of me. He's got one of those weatherbeaten mugs, a bulbous nose, looks like he's been around the block a few times, and, not to judge, but he looked like a bit of a rummy.

The girl rings his purchases up and he goes to pay with - yes, I've complained about it before, the bane of my existence in supermarket checkout lines - a card.

Whatever happened to the days when senior citizens were afraid of technology? They sure as hell seem to love using their cards at the supermarket. Especially when they're in front of me.

So the usual routine began: she asks him if it's credit or debit. He doesn't understand at first, finally says debit. Doesn't realize he has to put in a PIN. Can't get it right the first few tries. Oy. It finally processes and then she says he doesn't have enough in his account, he's short something like $3.68! He pulls out another fucking card and says try this one. So she has to cancel the transaction and start all over again.

And, of course, I'm standing there fuming the whole time.

But again, not enough money. And he starts mumbling something about how he knows there's money in this account.

Now, angry as I am, I also feel sorry for the old guy, so I'm just about to say, "Don't worry about it, I'll pay the difference," when the girl asks him if he wants to take something out of his order.

He's got paper towels, a six pack of Budweiser and deli meat. Without hesitation he says take out the meat!! He keeps the fucking Bud and does without the meat.

Well, I immediately lost all sympathy right there. (And it was fresh meat from the deli counter, too, not the prepackaged processed crap that some people buy. I don't know what they do with fresh deli that is returned. It's wrapped up and no one actually touched it, but I assume they can't resell it.)

Ugh.

Anyway, I know it sounds counterintuitive. If he had got rid of the Bud and kept the food, I would have paid for the beer - he needs food, let him have his treat too. But when he chose the beer and said no to the food, no way. At that point I had no sympathy for that (senior citizen) devil.

Worst campaign ever?

The stunning and ongoing collapse of Rudy 9iu11iani's campaign has been something to behold.

His poll numbers have went down more than Paris Hilton after a night spent binge drinking martinis

From GOP front-runner, he's now polling in third place in Florida, the state where he's staked his political survival after finishing behind Ron Paul (!) in New Hampshire and Iowa.

And he's now losing to John McCain in Northeast liberal states - which he was claiming he and only he could bring into the GOP column come November - including Connecticut - and, most ominously for him, even New York.

Such a shame.

Too soon?

Is this wrong?

I have a friend who is on assignment today staking out the Brooklyn apartment of Michele Williams, who was the girlfriend of Heath Ledger.

We were supposed to have a happy hour tonight, but he emailed me this morning saying he was out there, wasn't sure when he'd get back to Manhattan, and had been there since 6 am on this chilly day so might not be in any condition to go out.

I told him not to worry about it, and added: "Hey now that she's available tell her you've got a cute single friend in the city if she's looking to get back into the scene."

He was not amused.

You know, people, you have to laugh to get through the tears.

Oy

It's never been a secret that when people die after long and distinguished careers, the detailed obituaries that major news organizations seem to produce almost instantaneously were in fact written well in advance.

But now the news that the Associated Press has prepared an obituary for 26-year-old Britney Spears has put the spotlight on a debate within the business of reporting death: With people grabbing the celebrity spotlight at a younger age, and some of them living lives of obviously dangerous excess, is it time for news organizations to begin preparing for early exits from celebritydom's under-30 crowd?
- AP

I seriously feel bad for this girl. An AP obit ready to go at age 26.

And it is stunning how far and how fast she has fallen. You know, a couple of years ago, she was basically unobtainable, and now any drunken idiot in a club or a sleazy paparazzi can and have got to her. And every night, programs like TMZ show her careening around L.A., obviously troubled and on the edge.

I said it before, and I will say it again: where are the damn parents in this trainwreck? Too busy dragging in publicity whore Dr. Phil, I guess. Do I have to fly out there and take control of this situation myself?

I would have any one of these troubled girls under control within a month.

And a beach house in Malibu, too, of course, but, come on, that's only fair.

The whitest man in America was down with his homies on MLK Day

As he posed for a picture with a group of young people, the typically old-fashioned Mitt Romney was relaxed enough to quote from a popular hit single from a few years back.

“Who let the dogs out?” he called out, as he stood there beaming in his shirt and tie. “Who! Who!”
- CBS

Then he asked where he could score some good ganja, because, you know, that's what black folks are into.

And you thought the burgers at Jackson Hole were overpriced.

"Forget the glitzy restaurants of New York and London: only in Zimbabwe would a hamburger actually cost millions of dollars.

The central bank of the southern African country has a issued a 10 million Zimbabwe dollar note. The move increases the denomination of the nation's highest bank note more than tenfold.

Even so, a hamburger in an ordinary cafe in Zimbabwe costs 15 million Zimbabwe dollars."
- Daily Mail

But it comes with fries.

I blame George Bush

Blogging has been sort of light lately because, God help me, I got a virus in my computer and it is driving me crazy. I can see graphics on only half the pages I go to, and everything I do now - reading and typing - is so slooooooow.

Natch, I had let the virus protection software that came with the computer expire after the free 60-day (or whatever it was) trial, and when I realized a few days ago I had gotten infected with something really bad, I downloaded a free protection/scanning program which told me I had - and I do not exaggerate - 1,600 viruses. Most of them were standard cookie-reading adware that everyone gets and that don't really screw your computer up, but some of them were named "malicious" - and appropriately so. Some fucking computer geek in the Philippines or India writes these things just for fun to screw us up. The fuckers.

Anyway, the software deleted most of them but couldn't get the really bad ones that insinuate themselves into your C drive, so now I have to basically reload my Windows XP operating system to get my computer back to how it was when I got it.

And of course I have no clue where the original discs are, so I had to order them from a computer company for $27.

And when I do this, I will lose all my settings, all my documents, programs, bookmarks, music, etc., that I've downloaded over the last few years, so I spent most of Wednesday backing everything up on blank CDs and DVDs that I had to buy from Circuit City for 20 fucking dollars.

Ugh!

Fucking ugh, in fact.

But on a positive note, I had happy hour Wednesday with my friend Jan Brady - and she actually paid for the food! I had a Cuban panina. Delish. Granted, it only cost six bucks, so she still owes me about 8 drinks, but it was at least a small break from my day of computer hell.

The point is - people: get a good virus protector and always back up your hard drive.

Blah.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit"

I love stuff like this. Harry Shearer has been collecting some of the behind-the-scenes minutia of TV news for several years, and puts them up on the Web. Shearer, of "Spinal Tap" fame, half the voices on "The Simpsons," and briefly a cast member on SNL, has been collecting unscrambled satellite feeds or tapes that someone in a network control room occasionally sends him.

It's especially fun seeing perky Katie Couric mildly cursing. And even though Katie's CBS ratings aren't so great, we now know that at least her sister watches her.

Good news, NY!

Bravo adds a spin-off of its original series The Real Housewives of Orange County when it debuts The Real Housewives of New York City on March 4 at 11p. This series, produced by Ricochet Television Inc., will feature a group of New York socialites whose lives are a whirl of high-powered careers, homes and social calendars full of charity fund-raising galas and time spent at their estates in the Hamptons. After its premiere, the series moves to its regular time slot on Tuesdays at 10p starting March 11.
- Cynopsis


Oh good. Because, you know, there really aren't enough overindulged women prancing around this city. We need some being followed by TV cameras too, which won't make them even more unbearable. Not at all.

The Peabody Awards were more exciting

I'm flipping around the channels Sunday and came across the Goden Globe awards - except, not really. Because of the ongoing writer's stike, there was no awards ceremony and they just had C-level personalities standing at a podium in an empty studio announcing the winners in each category.

Huh?

Do they honestly think we really care who actually won the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress? We want to see the stars, the slutty gowns, who looks bad, who looks good. Especially at the Globes, which bring together movie and TV stars and pours booze into them during the award ceremony.

Memo to Hollywood execs: settle the strike soon. If the Oscars are going to be like this too, you've got a disaster on hand.

Ka-ching

A six of Stella at Key Food for $6.99. Let me tell you, I was in heaven. That's a great price - it costs that much for one in a bar.

And they all look the same too

"It is fitting that New Hampshire should have turned on a tear or an aside. The Democratic primary campaign has been breathtakingly empty. What passes for substance is an absurd contest of hopeful change (Obama) vs. experienced change (Clinton) vs. angry change (John Edwards playing Hugo Ch¿vez in English)."
- Columnist Charles Krauthammer

What are the right-wingers sniffing these days?

The Democratic campaign has been empty?

Every single one of the candidates has a detailed policy plan on everything from health care to energy use to dealing with the faltering economy. Hillary is famous - and often criticized by a shallow media - for being wonkish and overly detailed in her speeches. Hell, even the Dem candidates who dropped out recently - Biden and Dodd especially - had policy plans up the wazoo.

Perhaps Krauthammer - even his name says right-wing nutjobbery - should take a look at his own party if he wants to see some real empty rhetoric.

As usual it's god, guns and gays among the GOP candidates. If they're not bashing Hillary, they're exhuming Ronald Reagan's corpse to fellate its wrinkled peep. They mutter meaningless claptrap about how well the Iraq war is going. They rant about building a fence on the southern border, because, you know, that will bring back those jobs lost in the automobile and electronics industries.

Have you seriously heard a Republican candidate propose one thing they will do if they are elected that will benefit your life or the country?

And this clown is trying to claim it's the Democrats who are running an empty campaign? It's to laugh.

Am I that magnetic?

Ok, don't answer that, but why in hell do people, and I mean total strangers, feel compelled to interact with me so much in public?

I was running out this morning to do some errands and it felt a little chillier that what it's been the last few days. Not cold, but brisker, so I put on a jacket. Not one of those ridiculous puffy winter coats that some folks like to wear – you're on the 6 train, not a ski slope, idiot - but just a nice classic Timberlane field jacket.

As I was heading down the hallway on my floor, there was a woman about to ring the doorbell on an apartment close to the elevator. The owner is a psychiatrist and has a home office in her apartment, which is not really allowed, but our co-op board is pretty lax. And I can't really complain as I do work from my place too. (Although, of course, all I do is use a computer, like everyone else in America, not have crazy people coming to visit me. Well, not professionally anyway. )

I digress.

So this woman – she looked like a typical Upper East Side yenta – said, and I quote: “Oh, I was looking at your coat. I guess you're not too overdressed, but it's really not that cold out there.”

What the fuck?

Why did she feel the need for that? Why did she feel the need to talk to me at all? Frankly, if I was going into a shrink's office, I would be avoiding eye contact with anyone – not unlike when my friends go to strip clubs and peep shows on 8th Avenue. They scurry in there in shame.

Anyway, the point is: who are these people who like talking to strangers?

And I've bitched about this one before, but I know it will happen again tonight. I'm going to my favorite UES restaurant. I like to treat myself there once a week to a lovely meal, an amusing little pinot noir or three. I sit at the bar, read my Daily News, and just like to be left alone. Maybe a little friendly banter with the bartender to keep the buy backs going but that's it. It's my downtime, I do it every week, and I hate when I have to miss it.

But inevitably, even though I get there fairly early in the evening not long after the place opens, and usually have the bar to myself for the first hour or so, some schmo will come in, walk past 20 empty barstools and SIT RIGHT NEXT TO ME!

Who does that? Hell, I go out of my way to avoid sitting next to someone if there are empty seats available.

What is wrong with you people? Ugh.

That's a shame

Fearing that her estimated $2 billion fortune would be squandered in the event of her untimely passing, Oprah Winfrey’s leaving nothing to chance. The talk-show titan recently prepared her will, and according to the National Enquirer, she’s left a significant someone out of it completely.

Charities and yet-to-be adopted children stand to benefit the most from the enormous estate, while Stedman Graham, O’s partner for the last 21 years, allegedly won’t see a dime.

Someday, Oprah plans to adopt three daughters and raise them alone, an insider told the Enquirer. “It’s something she has always wanted to do,” said the source. “There’s no talk of her adopting the children with Stedman — this is something she’s going to do by herself.”
- MSNBC

Oy.

He's put in all this time with that blowhard - and he's not going to get a dime?

Iraq? What's Iraq?

Your news media at work:

Memo from Associated Press' Los Angeles assistant bureau chief

From: Baker, Frank S.
Sent: Tue 1/8/2008 11:58 AM
To: News - Southern California Editorial Staff
Subject: Britney

All:

Now and for the foreseeable future, virtually everything involving Britney is a big deal. That doesn't mean every rumor makes it on the wire. But it does mean that we want to pay attention to what others are reporting and seek to confirm those stories that WE feel warrant the wire. And when we determine that we'll write something, we must expedite it.

Thanks.

Frank

Sigh.

On the positive side of global warming...

...it was another beautiful day for a post-lunch walk around my beloved Central Park today (64 degrees according to the handy Weather Channel website on my Q).

It was crowded, but it's funny how relative it all is. If we woke up one morning in July and it was 64, we would be scrambling for sweaters and figuring the Earth had spun off its axis and was heading out toward Pluto.

The stroll (around the reservoir, down the West Side to Tavern on the Green, over to the East Side and back uptown) gave me time to ponder what people have been asking me lately: who I want to win the Democratic nomination, who I will vote for.

Well, I will happily pull the lever for any of the Democratic candidates come November - Obama, Hillary, Edwards (although he annoys me a little - and I think, sad to say, it's just that damn Southern accent), even Biden or Dodd, who sadly never caught fire and dropped out, would have been excellent presidents.

I was leaning toward Hillary, and still am, but Obama is growing on me.

The point is, this year, the Dems have a great team of A-level candidates, and the party faithful is happy with the choices - as opposed to the Republicans, who are in disarray, disjointed, confused and unmotivated with the Seven Dwarfs who ran on their side. So sad. Such a pity.

Their front runner, Rudy, is collapsing, and let's face it, there is no way the Southern, Bible-thumping yokels who play such a big part in that party, will vote for the godless, pro-choice, pro-gay rights, pro-gun control, thrice married, cross-dressing former mayor of Sodom on the Hudson.

They also have trouble with Romney because he doesn't pray to the same Baby Jesus as they do - who knew?

They don't really like or trust McCain, but they would probably vote for him if he's the nominee, and he might just pull it out this time around now that the sleazy Bush dirty tricks machine, which destroyed him in the 2000 GOP South Carolina primary, seems to be laying low, and may even be working for him this campaign (there is no honor in politics).

Somebody has to wake Thompson up from his nap and tell him he hasn't exactly caught fire and can now go back to playing the folksy sidekick in TV shows and movies, but no-one wants Uncle Jed from the Beverly Hillbillies with his finger on the button.

Huckabee is the reverse situation of Rudy. The Bible-thumpers love him but the GOP establishment doesn't. They like using the yokels for their votes, but too much of the God stuff makes the country club, Wall Street Republican crowd nervous.

And on top of it all, the nation's economy is slowing badly, the real estate market (which is where most Americans have most of their assets tied up) is tanking, the war in Iraq is grinding on, even though the fucking media seems determined to ignore it, and people think the country is on the wrong track.

The GOP got their collective asses handed to them in the 2006 Congressional elections, and, if things stay as they are, they will likely lose the White House in '08. Then President Hillary or President Obama can get some good things done.

Of course, when Republicans are cornered they are like rabid animals: they fight dirty, they fight desperately, they fight sleazy, they excel in mean-spirited attacks - so who knows. But let's keep our fingers crossed.

And that's my walk in the park report for today.

Remember when it used to snow - I mean really snow - in NYC?

Sixty degrees in the city today, in the first week in January, and the painting-like sunsets are back (this was taken at 5:15).

But, you know, global warming is a myth devised by corporation-hating liberals.

“But how the hell can a person/go to work in the morning/can come home in the evening/and have nothing to say?”

This is actually a pretty depressing song about an empty life (the song writer, John Prine, says when he wrote it, he imagined it about a 48-year-old Alabama woman who was trapped in a loveless marriage) but I like this version because I've met two of the people in the video (Bonnie Raitt, no less, and Bruce Hornsby) on separate occasions.

Thank you.

Now go to work. Don't be depressed. Ignore those flies in the kitchen.

Yay Jersey!

You know, I occasionally like to good-naturedly tease my friends from New Jersey, what with the big poofy hair and the long fingernails and the, er, interesting clothing choices – but it actually is quite a decent place.

I once again spent some great summer '07 days at the Jersey Shore, the state recently abolished the death penalty in a very civilized move – and now it looks like it's on the forefront of calling bullshit on the anachronistic Electoral College, which has always been one of my pet political peeves:

TRENTON, N.J. (AP) -- New Jersey is close to entering a compact that would eliminate the power of the Electoral College to choose a president if enough states endorse the idea.

The state Senate voted Thursday to approve delivering the state's 15 electoral votes for president to the winner of the national popular vote. The Assembly approved the measure in December and needs Gov. Jon S. Corzine's signature to become law.

''The bill is subject to a thorough review, but Gov. Corzine has long been a supporter of this concept,'' Corzine spokesman Jim Gardner said.

It's actually astounding that the Electoral College still has any influence at all today. As you know, Al Gore, who won the popular vote by some 700,000 ballots in the 2000 election, was denied the presidency because of the Electoral College, with help, of course, from the shenanigans in Florida and the corruption of skeevy Supreme Court members appointed by Bush's daddy.

If Jon Corzine and N.J. can get this issue on the national radar – good for them.

I may have to return to Bradley Beach next summer, if only to show my support for the Garden State and its politics. (I might even go back to Bar A in Belmar, or whatever the hell they're calling it these days.)

Another reason to go to The Venetian

You've got a better chance of surviving a heart attack!!

People who suffer cardiac arrest are more likely to survive if they are in a casino or airport than if they are in a hospital, researchers said today.

Doctors already knew that more than half of those who suffer such attacks in airports and casinos survive. But a new study shows that only a third of victims in hospitals survive -- primarily because patients do not receive life-saving defibrillation within the recommended two minutes.

Nearly 40% of hospital patients who received defibrillation within two minutes survived, compared with 22% of those for whom the response took longer, researchers reported in the New England Journal of Medicine.

As many as 750,000 people suffer such attacks in hospitals every year in the United States, and a quarter of a million suffer them outside hospitals.

"It is probably fair to say that most patients assume -- unfortunately, incorrectly -- that a hospital would be the best place to survive a cardiac arrest," USC cardiologist Leslie Saxon wrote in an editorial accompanying the report.

People who suffer cardiac arrest in the middle of an airport or casino -- where defibrillators are widely available -- are typically noticed immediately, whereas a lone patient suffering an attack in a hospital room may not be noticed for much of the crucial window of opportunity during which defibrillation is most effective.

The odds of survival are even lower in hospitals with fewer than 250 beds, and on nights and weekends, according to the study by Dr. Paul S. Chan of Saint Luke's Mid-America Heart Institute in Kansas City, Mo., and Dr. Brahmajee K. Nallamothu of the University of Michigan.

Oy gevalt.

Delusional as usual

I've seen some twittering on the right-wing blogs lately, ecstatic that some mainstream Hollywood movies, “Knocked Up,” and, more recently, “Juno,” (and, by the way, how cute is Ellen Page) feature single women who get unexpectedly pregnant and decide to have the baby anyway.

The right-wingers seem to think this is somehow indicative of a swing in the country's zeitgeist, that it's now perhaps turning against choice.

Can I just point out a salient fact?

Yes, in both of those films the woman indeed chooses to have the baby.

But in neither case is she pressured one way or the other.

She chooses.

Chooses. Choice. Chooses. Choice.

Get it?

Just because someone is pro-choice doesn't mean they necessarily believe a woman should have an abortion if they get pregnant without planning.

But we would sort of like the woman to have the choice.

You know, it might be easier if the terminology was changed to the realistic.

Instead of calling it “being pro-life” how about calling it “being in favor of forcing a woman to turn her body into a nine-month incubator of a child she doesn't want and probably can't afford and then has to have a somewhat dangerous surgery to give birth even though she didn't really want to.”

Maybe that would be better.

All I know is, if the government told me I had to have my tonsils out, even though I didn't need to, I would be a little p.o.'d.

But, hey, gals, you can vote Republican in 2008 and not have to worry your pretty little heads about what to do with your body.

Leave it up to President Huckabee. Or McCain. Or Romney.

Rudy might let you keep control of your womb, but who knows.

An amusing little Cab

A friend gave me a bottle of Two Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's a few days ago as a belated Xmas gift. (I know, I know, right? Then again, all I gave him was the leather case from my old LG phone that I don't need any more while he still uses that ancient thing - I digress.)

Anyway, I just had some of it with an Omaha burger, and I have to admit, for that price - it's really pretty good.

I wish that damn store was closer to me instead of being down on 14th Street. Let me tell you, I would be getting my regular case of vino from there instead of Mr. Wright's on Third, which is a great wine store, but they definitely don't have anything for two bucks.

Blood lust

Just when you thought the race for the Republican nomination couldn't get any crasser, with the candidates fighting over who hates immigrants or gays more, or who wants to keep our troops in Iraq longer, a dust-up erupted over that old GOP bugaboo - who is tougher on crime.

And of course, given the nature of these empty suits, the debate turned into who has executed more people. Mike Huckabee, who plays a God-fearing Christian on TV, apparently believes God approves of the death penalty and bragged that he executed plenty of people when he was governor of Arkansas, while, he sneers, Mitt Romney never executed anyone when he was governor of Massachusetts.

Of course, the fact that Massachusetts doesn't actually have a death penalty is just a small quibble.

It is fascinating, though, that at a time when states are re-evaluating the effectiveness of capital punishment, and New Jersey recently became the first to abolish it, the GOP candidates still brag about how many people they killed.

I suppose it shouldn't really be that surprising with this party. After all, Texas, home state of the current genius in the Oval Office, accounts for an astounding 60 percent of the executions carried out nationwide. Whee doggy.