If I win, applications will be accepted for the requisite trophy girlfriend

No one hit the Mega Millions lottery jackpot Tuesday night, so Friday's drawing will increase to $325 million, the game's second-largest prize ever. "When jackpots get this big, we can expect sales at their height Friday approaching the drawing," said John Charlson, a spokesman for the New York lottery. He said sales may near $1 million an hour. "There's going to be, again, a lot of Mega Millions mania and excitement around this jackpot, especially around the holiday weekend."
- NY Daily News

If I hit the winning number, there will be no further Too Saucy postings. Also, my phone number will change.

Send it to Jersey

Hazardous-materials specialists from the F.B.I. and the New York City Police Department went in to a United Nations building today to remove a chemical agent that had been recovered from an Iraqi munitions factory in 1996 and accidentally shipped to the United Nations, instead of the Army laboratory in Maryland where it was supposed to end up, officials announced today.

The authorities said there was no threat to the public. The toxic substance, known as phosgene, remained for more than a decade in the East 48th Street offices of the United Nations agency that was responsible for overseeing the removal of weapons of mass destruction from Iraq.
- NYT

The rationale for invading Iraq was supposed stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction. It didn't quite turn out that way, but finally - finally - weapons have been found.

I guess Bush and Cheney will be invading the East Side now, just to, you know, keep in practice of fucking up everything they touch.

I'd settle for technology that makes that cologne smell disappear

The city’s Taxi and Limousine Commission is proceeding with one of the most significant changes in taxicab service in years. By January, all of the city’s 13,000 yellow cabs will be required to have a new set of technological features including credit card readers and passenger information monitors, which will allow riders to track their journey and also watch news and advertisements.
- NY Times

Oh thank you mighty TLC for allowing us the oportunity to watch ads. Thank you.

Fuckers.

Now if they would just do something about that sitar music that's usually blaring out of the radio, not to mention the sickly air freshener or cologne smell that often permeates a cab.

Oh, and working AC would be nice too.

Red state-blue state cog diss

As I've embarrassedly admitted, I try to catch “Big Brother 8” on prime time CBS, and, frequently, on Showtime Too at the ungodly hours of midnight to 3 am during one of my insomniamanically (I made that word up, by the way) can't sleep periods.

Tonight, on the Tuesday network version, a weird cognitive dissonance thing happened.

There was little Catholic girl, Jessica, the quite adorable and quite busty blonde from Kansas – the heart of Red State America – walking in on Jameeka, the black chick from Washington DC, who was on her knees praying and crying to Baby Jesus.

Ugh.

And, of course, there's always Jameeka's friend, Amber, the cocktail waitress from Las Vegas (!!!) who cries and prays and kisses her cross necklace at the drop of a fucking hat.

Anyway, Jessica, who looked a little perturbed at Jameeka's shenanigans, noted, “Well, I do church, but it's not a big deal, and I don't do it here.”

It's quite hard to process a world in which a Kansas blonde is more sensible about religion than girls from DC and Vegas.

Then again, Jessica ended up making out with that little googly-eyed freak Eric, so who the hell knows anymore. The world has basically spun off its axis.

Although Daniele still looks amazing in denim shorts. Yum.

(Oh, and for all the Too Saucy non-viewers of BB 8, the pic is of Daniele and Jessica. Daniele is 20 and Jessica is 22. Perfect ages. Neither should change.)

Just a coinky dink I'm sure

The class of 2007 averaged the lowest math and reading SAT scores since 1999, the College Board reported Tuesday. Last spring's high school seniors scored on average 502, out of a possible 800 points, on the critical reading section of the country's most popular college entrance exam, down from 503 for the class of 2006. Math scores fell three points from 518 to 515.
-AP

Republican hypocrisy? What? How? It can't be!

The undercover officer was monitoring the restroom on June 11. A few minutes after noon, Sen. Larry Craig entered and sat in the stall next to him. Craig began tapping his right foot, touched his right foot to the left foot of the officer and brushed his hand beneath the partition between them. He was then arrested.

While he was being interviewed about the incident, Craig gave police a business card showing that he is a U.S. senator. "What do you think about that?" Craig asked the officer, according to the report obtained by Roll Call.
- Washington Post

Another day, another right-wing Republican found to be a closeted gay man engaging in shenanigans in a public toilet. In the Minneapolis airport no less.

And he's a real piece of work, as Reuters reports:

Craig is in his third term and up for re-election next year. He is a former member of the Senate's Republican leadership and played an active role in the 1998 impeachment of former President Bill Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky sex scandal.

In a June 2006 Senate vote, Craig voted in favor of an amendment to the Constitution to define marriage in the United States as a union between one man and one woman. The amendment was defeated by one vote.

He's not alone in his self-loathing membership as a closeted gay man in a political party that goes out of its way to demonize gays. This year, we've already seen Florida State Rep. Bob Allen, the former chair of John McCain's campaign in the Sunshine State, busted for soliciting an undercover cop in a bathroom there.

And we all remember the fun case of Ted Haggard, the right-wing Christian holy roller, who was busted earlier this year for that whole crystal meth-gay hooker thing.

Former Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL), who was found to be trolling for teenage Congressional pages via IM, is thought to have been a major factor in Democrats regaining control of the majority in the 2006 election following widespread public disgust at his antics (hey, where's Dateline NBC when you need them?)

But, of course, it's not just the gay Republicans who are hypocrites. The straight ones like to get their freak on too. Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) provided some entertainment a few weeks ago when he was busted in the D.C. madam case (and, as extra bonus points, has a fetish for wearing diapers and getting shit on.)

You know, at this point, wouldn't it really just be easier to list the Republicans who haven't been arrested than to report on the various right-wingers who railed against gays or who voted to impeach Clinton and then turn around and are, er, knee deep in the very acts they supposedly abhor?

HO-LY SHIT

Although I have to admit, I'd still boink her.

And another one gone and another one gone

Alberto Gonzalez finally got the hint and resigned as Attorney General after politicizing and compromising the Justice Department.

They're really dropping like flies over there at the White House. By the end of Bush's term, all that will be left at his side will be his long-suffering, self-medicating wife, Barney the dog, and maybe the non-pregnant twin.

Actually, you can see that Karl Rove's departure has hurt the political spin machine there. Usually news like Gonzalez's resignation would have been dropped on a Friday night (the "garbage dump" as it's called in the p.r. field - putting bad news out on a summer weekend night, when no-one is really paying attention.) Instead they announced it on a Monday morning, and the political world will be buzzing about what it all means for days.

So long, Alberto, we barely knew ye.

Blue moon

It's a little blurry, then again, I'm a little blurry right now, but here's a shot of a great full moon from the windows of Chez JBK Sunday night.

I'm not sure what that other smaller orb is on the lower right of the frame - maybe it's a second star, like on that Star Wars planet, or else it's a UFO.

Speaking of great NYC things, my husky right-wing friend was in town over the weekend and we did a mini bar crawl on Saturday afternoon and hit six bars in about 3 hours. And, of course, that was barely scratching the bars here on the fashionable Upper East Side.

He was like a kid in a candy store, as they apparently don't have too many pubs down in Hooterville, where he now lives.

I might be pregnant

I don't know why, but I had the worst craving for a vanilla milk shake this afternoon.

Thank God the Mr. Softee was in the 'hood.

They really ARE evil

Sometimes I think I give the right-wing Republicans a bad rap. Maybe I just let my contempt for Bush or their positions on various issues like abortion rights or the environment or, oh, I don't know, teaching creationism in the public schools, get the better of me.

Then I find out that several Republican Congressmen are standing in the way of toughening animal cruelty laws in the wake of the Mitchael Vick fiasco, and I realize, nah, I'm not being too hard on them. As The Washington Post reports, they are scum.

In the wake of the Vick scandal, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee has been spotlighting a number of GOP votes against the anti-animal fighting bill, including that of Sam Graves (R-MO) and top House GOP leaders. Only two Democrats - Reps. David Boren (D-Okla.) and Ruben Hinojosa (D-Texas) - voted against the bill.

Meanwhile, I see the prosecutor in the Vick case is going to recommend the low end of the penalties for his case. Just to remind you, that case is this:

In documents filed in U.S. District Court in Richmond, the Atlanta Falcons quarterback said he helped put dogs through test-fighting sessions as recently as April and agreed with co-conspirators to kill dogs that didn't perform well. The dogs were then executed by methods such as hanging and drowning, though the documents do not say that Vick participated in the killings.

Oh yeah, that's a guy who should get the low end of the penalties.

For those wondering...

Yes, apparently, even Fox can be embarrassed. The network canceled the much-criticized show, "Anchorwoman" after airing only one episode.

The "reality" show, featuring an alleged model trying to be a newswoman at a small TV station in Texas, was critically panned...but, more likely behind Fox's decision were the anemic ratings.

If the show had actually garnered viewers, you know they would have had Playboy models and porn stars trying out next.

The honor system

New Yorkers have a reputation for being a tad brusque and perhaps even shady, but it's really not the case.

Usually, the brusqueness is from the hillbillies visiting town and being annoying.

Sadly, I've only been able to use the classic old joke once.

Yokel: Can you tell me how to get to Carnegie Hall?
Me: Practice, practice, practice.

Good times.

And today, I saw how honest most people really are.

I had to go to my dentist, who is on Central Park South, right at the corner, diagonally across from the Time Warner Center and Central Park West. I was running late and used mass transit, so I took the crosstown bus to CPW and then hopped on the C train.

While on the bus, at the Madison Ave. stop, a woman in a wheelchair got on. It was one of those older buses, where the wheelchair elevator is at the rear door, so the driver had to get up and go operate it and make sure the wheelchair was properly secured.

But he was a trusting sort and left the front door open for the other passengers at the stop to get in while he was at the back taking care of the wheelchair. There were about 10 of them, and every single one dipped their Metrocard in. One guy even dropped in cash.

Now maybe the driver was counting the little beeps the Metrocards make and would have been able to tell if someone got on without paying, but he was really occupied with the wheelchair, so I don't think so.

If this had been a bunch of Red State Bushies, though, I suspect many would have scammed on without paying, with that feeling of entitlement the right-wingers have. Bastards.

Ka-ching 2

I love my friends. Sometimes they are so naive and innocent.

I went to happy hour tonight with a bud who lives in my neighborhood, but he had to go back into work at about 10 pm for a project he's working on, which, of course, I can't actually talk about here.

Anyway, we hit a few places and, as we were wrapping it up, we were passing his street and he asked if I wanted a couple of Heineken mini-kegs he had sitting in his kitchen.

My ears literally pricked up and I think I might even have stuttered, "H-h-huh, what, what?"

He said the magic words: "I don't want them, I don't drink at home."

Well, fortunately I don't have that affliction, so my share of the entire night was $9, and for it I got a Blue Moon and a Guinness at the bars, and then the two Heiney mini kegs cans.

Four premium beers for a little bit more than two bucks each.

Good times.

Ka-ching

A $68 seersucker shirt on sale for $16 at Banana Republic, and a 12-pack of Rolling Rock tallboys for $7.99 at C Town.

My cup runneth over today.

One of these things is not like the other

George Bush and his government have uncharacteristically been on the ball in helping Minnesota after that horrible bridge collapse tragedy. The home of the upcoming GOP convention, with a Republican governor and senator, is getting showered with some serious federal attention and largess.

The city, county and state became eligible for more federal assistance for the recovery from the Interstate 35W collapse when President Bush declared an emergency exists in the state, the White House said.

(snip)

Officials said the relief money would be used to cover costs racked up by the search and rescue efforts, security at the bridge site and overtime for law enforcement.

Bush was scheduled to visit Minneapolis and get a briefing on the bridge collapse before going to a private fundraiser for Sen. Norm Coleman, R-Minn.
- AP

I don't begrudge the good people of Minnesota a dime of this money. Two of the nicest people I have ever met (including Susan, an ex) were from Minnesota and you couldn't find people with bigger hearts. And the state has given us great politicians like Hubert Humphrey and Paul Wellstone, and, hopefully, will soon give us Sen. Al Franken - but it's just too bad the people in New Orleans weren't also of sturdy Nordic stock, or they too might have been swimming in federal disaster aid after Katrina instead of raw sewage.

And I'm sure there's no reason why one place was favored over the other by Bush. Naaah.

Stinky

"Bush is now the embarrassing uncle the Republicans just can't hide"

"With the departure of Karl Rove, the stench of failure hangs over the president - and his party wants to ignore the smell"
- The Guardian

It's amazing how far Bush has fallen, how unpopular he is, except among a few deranged right-wingers, who, inexplicably, still approve of his job performance.

And it's almost hard to remember now that just after 9-11, the entire country, left and right, rallied behind him, giving him an astoundingly high approval rating of 90 percent.

And then he blew it.

He let bin Laden escape in the mountains of Afghanistan so he and Cheney could carry out the neocon dreams of invading Iraq. He divided the country, questioning the patriotism of anyone who dared point out that his Iraq policy was a bloody debacle.

Domestically, he has been a disaster, presiding over an administration filled with corrupt, incompetent cronies, shown in especially stark terms with the response to Katrina,

And now even Republicans want nothing to do with him. There is even a report that Bush might not be invited to the GOP convention. "If they're smart, no," Republican pollster Tony Fabrizio told Newsweek. "Especially if things don't change in Iraq, we'll have the problem the Democrats had in 1968 with Lyndon Johnson and Vietnam. The question becomes: where do we hide the president?"

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

I guess Clay Aiken wasn't available

In a move that marries two of Fox’s hottest TV properties, the network tapped American Idol host Ryan Seacrest to be “entertainment host” for Fox NFL Sunday’s broadcast of Super Bowl XLII next February.
- B&C

Because no-one says football like Ryan Seacrest.

Very classy

First daughter Jenna Bush is engaged to long-time boyfriend Henry Hager, the president and first lady announced this afternoon. Hager, 29, popped the question to the 25-year-old teacher yesterday in Maine.

She must make him very proud. And I love the designation "teacher" by the way. Ahh, yeah, that's what she is.

Excuse me, now I have to go watch her dance on the bar at McFadden's.

Fashion faux pas

The latest controversy hitting the modeling world is the use of underage models at fashion shows. In Australia, they just prohibited a 15-year-old from being the face of the country's Fashion Week.

Claire Quirk (seen here in a few poses and looking, er, not 15 in any of them) was to have been the face of the fashion event, but the Melbourne City Council decided she was too young - although she will still be modeling in the show, just not serve as its "face," which seems to make it somewhat of a meaningless move.

It's a bit of an overreaction. As long as their parents are there or they are chaperoned, I don't see why it should be any more scandalous for a 15-year-old to be in a legitimate modeling show than to be an actress in a movie.

The real "scandal," for want of a better word, is the fashion industry's practice of targeting 15-year-old (and younger) customers with ridiculously inappropriate and sexualized clothing.

If you ever walk around New York, or any city I hazard to guess, you see little packs of teen girls strutting around dressed like mini-hookers. It's partly the fault of the fashion industry and partly the poptart influence of Avril and Britney (well, not her so much anymore) and their peers on MTV.

Girls really shouldn't dress like that until they are 18. Then they should stop when they hit old age at 22.

Thank you.

As if you needed another reason

The world's oldest person just died in Japan at age 114.

"Stout-hearted even after age 100, Minagawa would drink some Japanese sake or other alcoholic beverage every day."

By the way, I once spent a delightful Sunday afternoon at Haru on Third Avenue (it was during one of those street fairs, and, really, how many tube socks can you look at.)

The place was empty, and the bartender gave me and my ex an impromptu lesson on sake, told us how Japaneses places tend to hire Americans as bar managers, revealed the location of a very exclusive and unmarked sushi place near Grand Central where Mick Jagger always eats when he comes to town - and let us know that warm sake, as it's commonly served in sushi places in the U.S., is not really the good stuff (it's heated to conceal that fact), and the expensive and better quality stuff is served chilled.

After multiple tastings of sake we stumbled out of the damn place at about 4 pm and went straight for some greasy Italian sausages at the street fair.

Another one bites the dust

Karl Rove, the man called "Bush's brain," (and, wow, talk about damning with faint praise) and the sleazy architect of Republican political strategies, up to and including vote stealing, voter suppression of minorities, gerrymandering, and, of course, good old-fashioned corruption and cronyism, is leaving his post as White House adviser.

Announcing the move, Bush said “Karl Rove is moving on down the road.”

Just for masterminding the outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame to punish her husband who spoke out against the Iraq debacle, the only road he should be moving down should lead to a federal penitentiary.

And, of course, typical he-man of the GOP (except for, you know, doing something like serving in the military to help fight the wars they love so much) his first act upon leaving the White House: going dove hunting in Texas.

That's right, he's going to shoot fucking doves. Probably tame ones they keep in crates and release at sporting events.

What a guy.

Nice to see they have their priorities straight

(CBS) NEW YORK CBS 2 HD has learned a monkey was apparently sneaked into the United States with a passenger from Peru and let loose during a Spirit Airlines flight that landed at LaGuardia Airport Tuesday afternoon.

All we need now is Samuel L. Jackson saying, "I've had it with these motherfucking monkeys on this motherfucking plane!"

Seriously, though, this guy was able to smuggle a monkey into the passenger cabin of a plane, but if I try to bring a 6 oz. tube of goddamn Crest on board, I'm hauled off to Gitmo.

Sad tales (tails)

I live about a block away from the ASPCA headquarters in Manhattan and I always see volunteers or staffers walking dogs, giving them some exercise.

It’s invariably always older dogs, who - and it breaks your heart - you know are probably not going to be adopted and will likely be put to sleep...a nice euphemism for being killed.

The walkers have different methods. Some yap on their cell phones the whole way and just walk the dogs to the end of the block and turn back. Others talk to the pooches the whole time and pet them and pay attention to them.

On my way to dinner tonight, I saw one walker who had brought a little rubber toy thing and tried throwing it down in front of the dog she was walking, an adorable mutt, to give it some play time. The dog skittered away from it, though, scared. God only knows what had happened to it in its life. I wanted to adopt it on the spot.

And, by the way, if one of my so-called friends, who was looking at dogs in a pet store recently - and who I thought knew better - is reading this, it’s yet another reason why she better not dare patronize a pet store instead of her local pound.

Meanwhile, in other sad news, my amazing and top-secret health regimen has led to the point that when I went to Key Food today, and forgot to put a belt on my shorts, I had to walk with my hand in my pocket (no, no, no, not for that...I only do that at home heh) to hold them up! If I had let go, the damn things would have fallen - no doubt much to the delight of the gals on the Upper East Side, natch.

I digress. On my way home from a fantastic dinner (I started with gazpacho with a grilled South African shrimp in it, followed by veal scallopine stuffed with spinach and gruyere cheese, accompanied by garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus) I stopped in at the Duane Reade and bought a pound of gummy worms on sale for $2.00.


So much for my regimen.

Sad.

Sugarly delicious but sad.

I call on Americans to do the same

"Bush Calls on Iranians to Reject Their Government"
President Bush today called on the Iranian people to reject their hard-line government, saying they "can do better" and need not be isolated by a leadership that destabilizes its neighbors and pursues a suspected nuclear weapons program.
- Washington Post

The shrinks have a word for this.

Fuggedaboutit

McSweeney's has a very funny quiz asking who said the following quotes, Dick Cheney or Phil Leotardo of The Sopranos. (Answers at the bottom.)

And while it's hard to tell much difference between the actual quotes from our sleazy, foul-mouthed VP and those from the amoral fictional mobster, there is one clear difference between them: Leotardo was shot on the show, while Cheney really shot someone.



1. "Except for the occasional heart attack, I never felt better."

2. "You sound like a damn politician with all these excuses."

3. "What can you do—throw money at the problem?"

4. "He's never won anything, as best I can tell."

5. "Next time, there won't be a next time."

6. "You couldn't fuckin' retire?"

7. "Principle is OK up to a certain point, but principle doesn't do any good if you lose."

8. "First off, it wasn't an offer. It's my position."

9. "Everyone knows that you're not really a man unless you own a gun."

10. "I'll take that Discman and I'll ram it up your box."

11. "You want compromise?"

12. "Go fuck yourself."

- - - -

Dick Cheney: 1, 2, 4, 7, 9, 12

Phil Leotardo: 3, 5, 6, 8, 10, 11

That's a shame

It sounds like this morning's commute was a nightmare in the city because of the weather. One of my friends sent me the following sad sack tale:

It was the worst commute i've ever had.

went down to subway...i saw a lady passed out on the platform. paramedics tending to her.

so i stepped over her to rush down to the 4 ( just teasing)

i went back up to M86.....squeezed on. then to 1 train. which was working then.

i was dripping wet. No AC on the subway. I was absolutely wet.

You know, I had it tough too. I was low on milk and had to drink my coffee black as I stood at my window and watched the huddled masses on the streets far below.

The end of an era

Sad news. The Weekly World News, the supermarket tabloid that was home to Bat Boy, Elvis sightings and which broke the news that Hillary Clinton adopted an alien baby (although I guess that's only fair since the alien endorsed Bill a few years ago) is folding.


Oh well, at least we still have Fox News for all our wacky, unbelievable news needs.

Oops

Sorry, I'm a day late, but I forgot to note yesterday that Monday was six years to the day when George W. Bush received the infamous “Bin Laden determined to strike in US” Presidential Daily Bulletin.

That was August 6, 2001, just a little more than a month before bin Laden...well, we know what happened.

Bush was on his make-believe ranch in Crawford, Texas, at the time, and reportedly told the CIA briefer, "Ok, you've covered your ass now."

And of course he and his national security team did nothing.

The empty look on his face that day was probably not unlike the look during that long seven minutes a month later, on Sept. 11, when he was at a school in Florida and his chief of staff whispered in his ear, "Mr. President, the United States is under attack."

And he sat there.

For seven minutes.

Until they realized he was frozen in fear and ineptitude and got him out and on a plane and hid him in an underground bunker in Nebraska.

Pitiful.

Faster than a speeding bullet...

How much does your heart sink when you put on your IM program and see the screen name of someone you really don't want to talk to...and how fast do you leap to log off pronto?

Oy, I should move so quickly around the Central Park reservoir.

Judi and Jeri

I feel a delicious schadenfreude at the consternation among some in the Republican party these days that is being caused by the wives of presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani and likely candidate Fred Thompson, the mediocre actor and undistinguished former senator who is contemplating a run himself.

Frederick of Hollywood and Rudy both have younger, ambitious wives who have alienated the professionals working on their respective campaigns, causing defections, firings and resignations in both camps.

In fact, both The Times (here) and The Washington Post (here) ran features Sunday about the wives, the trouble they've caused in the campaigns and the rumblings among the campaign workers. The candidates are beginning to realize that their ol' ball and chains are causing some trouble and are trying to head it off with these soft, humanizing interviews.

The fun is watching the right-wingers – who spent much of the 90s demonizing Hillary Clinton as a woman who "didn't know her place" – being hoisted on their own petard and now scrambling desperately to defend the Machiavellian schemings of Judi Nathan (Rudy's prize) and Jeri Thompson.

Nathan, especially, seems like a nightmare. She demands a separate seat for her Louis Vuitton bag on campaign airplanes (she calls it Little Louis! I wonder what she's calls Rudy's...er, well, never mind), she demanded a first-class ticket be bought for her by clients as she wanted to accompany him everywhere when he was out earning millions on the backs of the 9-11 dead giving high-priced speeches, and, of course, she famously pursued him when he was still the married mayor of NYC. That lead to him finally announcing the end of his marriage during a televised press conference, the first time his then wife, Donna Hanover, heard he wanted a divorce. Very classy. Judi is also apparently the main cause behind the alienation of Rudy's two teenage kids, both of whom have said they won't campaign for their father and barely talk to him now.

And of course, let's not even get into the underlying fact that the holier-than-thou “family values” party apparently has no problem with Rudy being on wife #3 and Fred on wife #2. Not to mention, Jeri looks like she works the pole (as former Republican congressman and now MSNBC host Joe Scarborough said, a not-so-veiled reference to her somewhat slutty outfits and an obvious boob job.)

Hypocrisy in the GOP?

Say it ain't so.

I like the way they think

As FBLA notes, Victoria's Secret decided to invite regular women to pose for pictures in their new "It" bra with supermodels Heidi Klum and Marisa Miller at one of their L.A. stores.

Yeah, I'm sure that's not at all intimidating for the average gal out there. Strip down to your undies and stand next to two of the hottest women in existence.

But kudos to the marketing genius who came up with this, because you know the women who do it are going to be outstanding.

Quite an interpretation

O.J. Simpson (guilty) is still trying to get accepted in public, but some of his appearances don't go quite as well as he would like. He recently did a show on some Internet radio station and, strangely enough, some of the callers weren't so friendly.

And for some reason the host seemed to be trying to pretend nothing was amiss:

One caller asked the former football player if he thought it was "a bigger feat to break 2,000 yards in one season or slice two necks in one night."

Simpson seemed not to hear the question, which interviewer Delaney reinterpreted for him as, "What was your biggest accomplishment, basically, in football?"

Ahh yeah, that's pretty much what the guy asked.

Maybe he just likes to shop at Bloomies

This knocks the, er, bloom off the rose somewhat.

Apparently our billionaire mayor, Mike Bloomberg, who famously rides the subway to City Hall every day, gets chauffeured from his E. 79th Street townhouse (he doesn't live at Gracie Mansion, the official mayor's residence, because his own house is nicer) to the subway.

The Times shadowed his morning commute for a few weeks and found he doesn't even go to his closest stop (77th Street) as it's a local, but instead goes to an express stop, 59th Street, at Bloomingdales.

On mornings that he takes the subway from home, Mr. Bloomberg is picked up at his Upper East Side town house by a pair of king-size Chevrolet Suburbans. The mayor is driven 22 blocks to the subway station at 59th Street and Lexington Avenue, where he can board an express train to City Hall. His drivers zip past his neighborhood station, a local subway stop a five-minute walk away.

That means Mr. Bloomberg — whose much-discussed subway rides have become an indelible component of his public image — spends a quarter of his ostensibly subterranean commute in an S.U.V.

“I never see him,” said Namela Hossou, who sells newspapers every morning at the downtown entrance to the mayor’s nearest stop, at 77th Street, four blocks from the mayor’s house. “Never, never.”

Okay, it's a little shady. But, hey, at least he doesn't frequently dress in drag, like some other former mayors we could name.