Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I love freebies. Send me free stuff. Thank you.

I don't know why, but things seem better when they're free, whether it's movie screenings, restaurant meals or drinks. A couple of weeks ago I got a coupon in the mail for a free Jamba Juice, so today I decided to cash it in and stopped by the store on Lex and 87th and got a 16 oz. Raspberry Rainbow with a protein booster.

Let me just say: yum. I took it on a walk, and I swear I could have done twice around Central Park instead of my customary once. Unlike some of my huskier friends who start panting as they walk to their car in the driveway.

Almost as good as free is when supermarkets misprice an item. Last week I bought a four-pack of Bartyles & Jaymes wine coolers, and I didn't notice until I got home that they had apparently entered the bar code wrong in the computer. The entire four-pack came out as 1@4 for $3.99 - they were charging what one bottle would cost for the entire four-pack, so I got the whole thing for $1.

I went right back and told them they had the bar code entered wrong in their system.

Haha, no, of course I went right back and bought three more four-packs.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Douchebaggery at its best

The most annoying group of people in this country, except perhaps for the 24 percent or so of Americans who inexplicably tell pollsters they still think Boy George is doing a good job as President, are the production assistants who work on movie crews filming in public.

They strut around as if they are the shit, as if they are somehow actually important. And the highlight of their day, of course, is when they get to stop people from walking in an area where there's filming going on.

People who live in other parts of the country, where they maybe don't shoot a lot of films, will think I'm exaggerating or just being extra impatient, but ask any New Yorker and they will confirm: these douchebags are really, really annoying.

There was a crew in Central Park today filming by one of my favorite areas, that elm tree-lined promenade leading up to the lake, and one of these self-important fucktards was standing there telling everyone they had to go around because “We're filming here.”

I felt like saying, “Um, no, I don't have to go around,” because the dirty little secret is they have no authority to stop anyone from walking in a public area, film permit or not. They're not cops.

But I had no interest in ruining their shot, so I did indeed walk around, but what annoyed me is when I saw the tourists gaping at this twerp as if he was actually important.

Of course, these dopes make about 8 bucks an hour, and actually spend most of their days picking up the director's dry cleaning or running to Office Depot to get extra electrician's tape - but give them a fucking walkie talkie and a baseball cap and suddenly they think they're Spielberg.

Friday, July 27, 2007

She's pretty persuasive, you've got to give her that

NASA’s astronauts have flown while intoxicated on at least two occasions, according to reports of an internal NASA investigation, and the astronauts involved were warned that their drunkenness constituted a safety risk to the flight.

They must be hanging out with a bad crowd.

Republican chickenhawks strike again

Just as in matters of war, when they enthusiastically support the military - except for that whole thing about actually, you know, enlisting and fighting themselves - the Republican candidates for President seem a tad afraid about actually facing the American people.

Following the very successful CNN/You Tube debate among the Democrats, the network has scheduled another one in September featuring the Republican candidates.

But now it turns out some of the leading candidates in the GOP are making noises about not participating.

Macho man Rudy Giuliani, who has made $70 million in speaking and consulting fees since he left office, and is running an entire campaign based on his supposed heroics during 9-11 (um, he walked the streets of lower Manhattan covered in dust because, of course, he had stupidly put his emergency control operation in the World Trade Center complex) is mumbling something about scheduling conflicts.

And Mitt Romney, the flip-flopping former governor of Massachusetts, is trying to play the dignity card, according to the Washington Post: "Referring to the video of a snowman asking the Democratic candidates about global warming, Romney quipped, "I think the presidency ought to be held at a higher level than having to answer questions from a snowman."

That would be the same Romney who stood there with a shit-eating grin holding up a supporter's sign equating two of the Democratic candidates with Osama bin Laden. Very dignified of him.

In reality, of course, they just don't want to face tough questioning from real people. They can't scream "liberal media bias!!" - their usual excuse - when it's a You Tube question about Iraq or health care or global warming and it's coming from some guy in Kansas.

What a bunch of pussies.

Thursday, July 26, 2007


I have a new guilty pleasure that could prove to be my downfall. It's "Big Brother After Dark" which airs every night on Showtime Too from midnight to 3 am (ET).

And here's the fucked-up thing: I don't even watch the prime time network version of Big Brother on CBS, so I'm not even sure who these people are or what their various grievances with each other are - although now I may have to tune in, so I guess it has done its job.

And unlike the prime time version, where they do the silly stunts and contests and someone gets voted out each week, and they know each moment during those stunts is being filmed, this is pure voyeurism. It's just them talking and bitching for three hours. It's amazing how compelling listening in on people is. Not to mention, they don't bleep out any cursing, although so far there's been no sex. And Variety confirms: "Profanity and nudity will be allowed, but the feed will be interrupted if house guests say anything slanderous or that violates music copyrights."

Some of it, of course, is just banal and pointless, and you wonder what the hell they're talking about, and sometimes the director will just abruptly dump out of a conversation happening in one part of the house and switch to one going on in another room or in the yard.

It's even live, because at one point on Tuesday (Wednesday morning actually) someone asked what time is it, and someone answered 11:30 (the BB house is in Los Angeles) and it was 2:30 am in New York then.

And there's the problem, of course. As someone who frequently gets bouts of insomnia, the last thing I need is to get into the routine of watching a TV show that runs until 3 in the goddamn morning.

But excuse me, now at 12:05 am I have to go watch the damn thing.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

What, his golden tongue isn't working?

The Times is reporting today that the foreign leader George Bush talks to most often is Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki.

In sessions usually lasting more than an hour, Mr. Bush, a committed Christian of Texas by way of privileged schooling in New England, and Mr. Maliki, an Iraqi Shiite by way of political exile in Iran and Syria, talk about leadership and democracy, troop deployments and their own domestic challenges.

Sometimes, said an official who has sat in on the meetings, they talk about their faith in God.

I know, I know, it's hard to believe George W. Bush can't talk the Iraqis into peace, what with that articulate way of his.

I mean seriously, here are two leaders talking, with one of them being a guy who can barely speak English (I mean our president, of course), and somehow he is supposed to be able to dazzle the leader of Iraq with verbal gymnastics and convince him to get that country together?

Not to mention, they apparently spend a lot of time blathering about God.

Yeah, that's just what that region of the world needs -- more religion in the mix.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The party's over

After I presciently posted a snarky comment Monday afternoon about Lindsay Lohan not exactly looking like she was toughing out her DUI aftermath, on early Tuesday she was arrested - again - for DUI and also cocaine possession.

And the mug shot doesn't look quite as hot as the bikini shot from yesterday.

We'll see this time if there's any real change in her behavior, but meanwhile the tabloid press coverage of this case is going to make the Paris Hilton mishegoss look like a walk in the park.

She better hopes she ends up like Paris, though, and not Anna Nicole Smith, which is the road she seems to be heading down.

SANTA MONICA, Calif—Lindsay Lohan, who just finished a second stint in rehab for substance abuse treatment, was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving early Tuesday, authorities said.

Lohan, who is already facing a drunken driving charge in Beverly Hills, was pulled over near the Santa Monica Police Department after authorities spotted her car chasing another, said Sgt. Shane Talbot.

Authorities conducted a field sobriety test and then transported her to the police department.

The 21-year-old actress was booked on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol, driving on a suspended license and possession of cocaine, among other charges, Talbot said.

Police found cocaine in one of her pants pockets during a pre-booking search, Talbot said.
- AP

It's a beginning

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell yesterday ordered quarterback Michael Vick not to report to training camp with the Atlanta Falcons until the league has reviewed his legal troubles stemming from federal dogfighting charges.

Vick's playing status is to be determined by Goodell, and the NFL gave no timetable for the decision other than to announce that the review would be completed "as soon as possible."

"While it is for the criminal justice system to determine your guilt or innocence, it is my responsibility as commissioner of the National Football League to determine whether your conduct, even if not criminal, nonetheless violated league policies, including the personal conduct policy," Goodell wrote Vick in a letter yesterday, according to an NFL statement.
- Washington Post

Of course, the NFL got something like 100,000 emails and calls from angry animal lovers about this case (Too Saucy's was one of them!) Without that response, I wonder if they would have been quite so proactive or if it would have been business as usual.

Monday, July 23, 2007

She taunts me

Well, it's nice to see Lindsay Lohan is really toughing it out in her court-mandated DUI penalty phase. Here she is at the Polaroid Beach House, one of those ridiculous, fully-loaded swank houses some of the big companies set up for those poor stars who don't have their own beach house and who, you know, couldn't afford one themselves. Or something.

And frequent Too Saucy commenter Not a Hipster recently wondered why 21 is the prefect age for a girl, by the way? Oy! (Although, her legs are looking a little chunky there, I have to admit. Maybe she should stick to showing off her upper body. I'm just saying.)

Blub blub

Ugh, I came back from a gorgeous weekend in New Jersey - yes, yes, I know, but the weather and the beach were amazing - to a damn monsoon.

This afternoon, I kept trying to delay my trip back, hoping the rain would stop, but it wasn't happening.

I blame Cheney. Probably some evil weather experiments he instituted when he took power over the weekend.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Oy gevalt

Dick Cheney will be acting president tomorrow


The election is already getting somewhat weird but one of the cuter aspects is this video that 21-year-old (the perfect age) Taryn Southern made about Hillary Clinton.

And she was on "Hardball" and was really quite articulate. Although the clueless Chris Matthews, who always seems to have a stick up his ass about Hillary, couldn't fathom how easy it is to make and upload a video these days, and seemed to be desperately searching for some bizarre conspiracy theory about the video.

Taryn's video, of course, is a parody of another cute one that was made about Barack Obama.

Somehow the Republican candidates aren't inspiring videos. Can't imagine why.

"The hottest places in Hell are reserved for the souls of sick and brutal people who hold God's creatures in such brutal and cruel contempt"

Robert Byrd, the octogenarian Democratic Senator from West Virgina, frequently gets mocked by the right-wingers for his advanced age, his frail condition, his love of quoting Latin and the Constitution (because, you know, those things are just so not cool to our Republican friends.)

He is also a well-known dog lover, and, as The Washington Post noted, spoke out forcefully about animal cruelty in the wake of the appaling case of scumbag Michael Vick:

In biblical terms, Byrd -- wearing a navy-blue tie spotted with dog images -- attacked animal cruelty in ways that only he can.

"It is a brutal, sadistic event motivated by barbarism of the worst sort and cruelty of the worst, worst, worst, sadistic kind," Byrd said in a 24-minute address on the matter. "One is left wondering: Who are the real animals? Who are the real animals, who are the real animals -- the creatures inside the ring or the creatures outside the ring?"

Byrd attacked the nature of Vick's alleged crime in soaring rhetoric usually reserved for war speeches or Supreme Court confirmation battles: "The training of these poor creatures -- weigh those words -- the training of these poor creatures -- weigh them -- the training of these poor creatures to turn themselves into fighting machines is simply barbaric. Barbaric! Barbaric! Barbaric! Let that word resound from hill to hill and from mountain to mountain, from valley to valley across this broad land. Barbaric, barbaric!"


"The Book of Proverbs in the Holy Bible, the King James Bible, tells us a righteous man regardeth the life of his beast but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel," Byrd said. "The immortal Dante tells us the divine justice reserves special places in Hell for certain categories of sinners. Madam president, I am confident -- madam president, I am confident that the hottest places in Hell are reserved for the souls of sick and brutal people who hold God's creatures in such brutal and cruel contempt! I yield the floor."

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Add your voice for the voiceless

Michael Vick, that scumbag NFL player who was involved with staging dog fights, has been indicted and the Humane Society is seeking voices from the public to urge the book be thrown at him.

They're looking for legal action and an NFL suspension. Coincidentally, a few days ago, after I finished lecturing a friend (I thought knew better) who was looking in a pet store and telling her that she shouldn't get a dog there as they keep the terrible puppy mills in business, and instead she should rescue a dog from the ASPCA, I also noted they ought to take people who run those puppy mills, and especially get the human flotsam who stage animal fights, and just throw them in a little barbed wire cage with a few dozen hungry abused dogs that they've been torturing, and let the dogs go to town.

But I guess legal action would be ok too. From the Humane Society:

Tell the NFL to Suspend Michael Vick!

This dog was one of 52 pit bulls seized from Michael Vick's property.

The outrage is unprecedented, and for good reason: Two days after a federal grand jury indicted NFL star quarterback Michael Vick and three cohorts on felony dogfighting charges, more than 100,000 people have called on the NFL to suspend Vick immediately.

You can add your voice today. Please urge the NFL to suspend Michael Vick immediately.

In a case that The Humane Society of the United States has assisted with since the alleged cruelties came to light in Virigina last April, the 19-page indictment describes abuses that are almost beyond belief:

In or about March of 2003, PEACE [one of Vick’s co-defendants], after consulting with VICK about the losing female pit bull's condition, executed the losing dog by wetting the dog down with water and electrocuting the animal.

In or about April 2007, PEACE, PHILLIPS, and VICK executed approximately 8 dogs that did not perform well in "testing" sessions...by various methods, including hanging, drowning, and slamming at least one dog's body to the ground."

The NFL expressed “disappointment” and said Tuesday that “we believe that all concerned should allow the legal process to determine the facts.”

Well, that’s just not good enough. These alleged acts were not petty or harmless; they were nothing short of gruesome and barbaric. And there is precedent for a suspension: Other NFL players, such as Pacman Jones and Chris Henry, have been suspended while they awaited trial and before they were convicted. Please contact the NFL today and urge the league to suspend Michael Vick.

What You Can Do

Leave a message with NFL Public Relations at (212) 450-2000 and ask the NFL to suspend Michael Vick immediately. Then send a follow-up email.

And if you are able, please make a special donation today to help us care for those animals while the case is being pursued by federal authorities.

Thank you for all you do for animals.


Wayne Pacelle
President & CEO
The Humane Society of the United States

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

There they go again

So I'm flipping around watching some of the coverage of that steam pipe explosion in midtown, and, as usual, the anchors and reporters on the national news channels are acting like idiots.

Wolf Blitzer on CNN and David Shuster on MSNBC are breathlessly "reporting" what's going on, mentioning terrorism every chance they can, talking about asbestos in the air, blocks shut down, trying desperately to get some of the eyewitness callers on the phone to talk about panic. None of them were panicked.

And there's good old Chuck Scarborough on WNBC, ch. 4, calmly and matter-of-factly reporting it, talking more about the subway delays and how well cops and firefighters responded to Con Ed's little headache.

Why do the national channels have to be so dramatic? Now whenever I see a report on one of the news networks about something happening anywhere else in the country, I always take it with a big grain of salt, considering how they are when they're talking about something I know.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Another "family values" Republican returns to work

Louisiana Sen. David Vitter returned to the Capitol Tuesday, dodging camera crews where possible and refusing to take reporters' questions about a sex scandal that sent him into seclusion for a week.

The first-term Republican said he wanted to resume his normal Senate schedule, but that proved difficult as news crews camped outside his office and chased him down hallways. Vitter, 46, has acknowledged ''a serious sin'' after his Washington telephone number was found among those called several years ago by an escort service that prosecutors say was a prostitution ring.

- AP

I'm sure the whole Republican family values crew was there to greet him with open arms. Probably some crystal meth too.

That's odd

The United States will face “a persistent and evolving terrorist threat” over the next three years, as Al Qaeda continues to plot attacks comparable in scale to those of Sept. 11, 2001, the nation’s intelligence agencies said today.


Despite efforts to root out Al Qaeda terrorists from their strongholds in the tribal areas of northwest Pakistan since 2001, the group has been able to protect or rebuild a cadre of “operational lieutenants” and its top leadership, the estimate declared.

And while Al Qaeda remains the greatest single terrorist threat to the United States, its leadership will continue to prod other terrorists in “extremist Sunni communities” to “mimic its efforts and to supplement its capabilities,” the 16 intelligence agencies agreed.


There must be some mistake.

Weren't we told that we went into Iraq to "fight the terrorists there so we wouldn't have to fight them here?" Weren't we told that we had al Queda on the run? Weren't we laughed at when we said that taking troops and resources from Afghanistan and sending them to Iraq allowed al Queda leaders to get away? Weren't we promised that the 3,600+ Americans killed in Iraq, the tens of thousands wounded, and the hundreds of thousands of Iraqis killed and wounded - well it was just collateral damage in a worthy cause? Weren't we assured that our invading and occupying a Muslim country, overthrowing the dictator who held it together (and, of course, had nothing to do with 9/11) wouldn't really inflame the Arab world, which already hated us, and actually cause more to enroll in a jihad?

And now the U,.S. intelligence community is saying that al Queda has regrouped and is at pre-9/11 strength, and, oh, there probably will be another terror attack in the U.S., perhaps even this summer.

As someone who rides the NYC subway system a lot, I think I speak for most New Yorkers when I say to our esteemed president: thanks for nothing you fucking dope.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Brad Pitt threw that away...then again, look what he threw it for

Mondays tend to be a little blah, but today I actually had a nice start to the week.

I had a great lunch with an old boss in midtown, walked home through the park, and then my friend Velma came over after she got out of work and we enjoyed happy hour at Chez JBK with Louis Armstrong music, Bartyles & Jaymes wine coolers (Pomegrante Raspberry) and a fab sunset (granted, it's probably pollution over Jersey, but it always looks nice.)

Velma announced she is thinking of going back to school for a Masters and had all sorts of test booklets and college brochures she was studying. Now, let me just point out, this is a girl who loses interest about halfway through the TV Guide crossword puzzle, so I'm not sure a master's program is quite right for her, but, hey, stranger things have happened. Apparently George Bush got into Yale, so, who knows.

And then she insisted on watching “Rumor Has It.”


How do movies like this get made? Just terrible. And I actually like Jennifer Aniston as an actress. I thought she was very good in “Friends With Money” and “Derailed,” and pretty damn cute in “Along Came Polly.” And she was always clearly the best of the bunch in “Friends.” But this was just stupid.

The only positive in this movie is that there is a brief side view of her naked boobage in one scene. Gentlemen, if you ever get forced into watching it, get your remotes ready for that all-important freeze frame. Let me just say: they are real and they are spectacular.

Since this is a family blog, however, instead of that clip, which I know many of you pervs would like to see, here's a little Louis. Break open the B&J.

At least he's consistent

It's nice to know that George W. Bush is consistent. Consistently a prick.

For the first six years of his presidency, he had a Republican-controlled Congress who gave him everything he wanted, never challenged him, never exercised their Constitutional duties to act as a check on the Executive. And, of course, most grievously, he and they managed to get us involved in a seriously flawed foreign policy debacle.

But they managed to fuck up domestically too, of course (and let's not even talk Katrina). The economy he inherited from Bill Clinton - with surpluses as far as the eye could see - is gone, and now we're saddled with deficits as far as the eye can see. And a big part of that is because Bush and the GOP Congress were spending like drunken sailors, while at the same time cutting taxes on the fabulously wealthy (a hedge fund manager making $55 million a year pays a lower tax rate than a public school teacher these days.)

But now that the Democrats are in control in Congress, all of a sudden Boy George has found his veto pen.

And what does he want to veto?

The White House said on Saturday that President Bush would veto a bipartisan plan to expand the Children’s Health Insurance Program, drafted over the last six months by senior members of the Senate Finance Committee.

The vow puts Mr. Bush at odds with the Democratic majority in Congress, with a substantial number of Republican lawmakers and with many governors of both parties, who want to expand the popular program to cover some of the nation’s eight million uninsured children.


Let's keep spending God knows how many billions of dollars a month in Iraq. But, hey, fuck those sick kids who aren't lucky enough to be born into the Bush or Cheney clans.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Bring back the blind daters

I mentioned recently that my favorite Upper East Side restaurant, where I treat myself to a delightful dinner every Thursday, was apparently a rendezvous point for couples meeting on blind dates. There were three of them around me at the bar that time and I was forced to listen to their inane chatter as I tried to read my Daily News.

But all of a sudden, they don't seem so bad.

Last night two lawyers sat next to me at the bar and, I swear, they blathered on about their respective office's fucking dress codes for 20 minutes. They can wear this, they can't wear that, one refuses to go casual even on casual Fridays, one gave his assistant into trouble for wearing a sleeveless shirt.

Oy gevalt.

The things people find interesting.

On a positive note, the Long Island duck was amazing. I had dreams about it.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Nevada 1 - NJ 0

So Miss New Jersey went on the Today Show and talked about the "shocking" Facebook pictures that someone was apparently trying to blackmail her with. Ehh, let's just say, I've seen more scandalous pictures in those American Apparel ads.

She's fully clothed in all of them, in one she's lying back in a limo with her legs spread, in another a guy is biting her breasts.

Is this what passes as a scandal these days? I mean, sure, they're tacky, but come on, she's Miss New Jersey for Christ's sake, not Miss Connecticut - hah.

She has a long way to go to pass the amazing Miss Nevada pictures that surfaced a few months ago. Her pix were extra extra good because she was only 17 when they were taken and featured some nudity and lesbian fun. In fact, I think it's time for a fond flashback. Let's all pause to salute the delectable pageant winner of our hearts:


Well, Wednesday night was a bottle of wine, although I only had half (ok, maybe ¾) and then getting caught in a rain storm and running into a bar on Third Ave. and drinking tequila shots, then finishing up with some brandy no less, for some reason I still don't understand - and with only some lousy chicken fingers to eat - so may I just say: oy.

(By the way, why do people congregate in bars in downpours or snow storms or blackouts? What's up with that? Is that a Manhattan thing?)

But I'm going to go rest my eyes, because now I'm....

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

A world of difference

It's amazing how even just a 10-degree drop in temperature can make all the difference in making the great outdoors pleasant again. It was beautiful in the park today, and even the joggers didn't annoy me like they did earlier this week when it was much hotter and more humid.

They were setting up the stage in the North Lawn for an upcoming free concert by the New York Philharmonic, just another perk of living in this great city.

I will be attending, with a blanket, a blonde and a bottle (an amusing little Beringer Stone Cellars chardonnay, delightfully chilled).

But, hey, my husky right-wing friend who occasionally comments in Too Saucy also has a big night ahead of him down in Hooterville, where he lives. I hear they are changing the flavor of the Frostee-Freeze machine in the local Piggily Wiggily. The whole town will be gathering at 7 for the unveiling. I'm betting it's Raspberry Delite.

Good times.

This is how you know the McCain campaign is REALLY in trouble

In a story reporting on the trouble John McCain's presidential campaign is in, floundering in the polls and well behind in fundraising, The Times throws in this line about one of the advisers who were either fired or resigned yesterday in a massive shakeup of the campaign:

"Mr. Weaver’s move was unexpected even by him; he gave up a rent-controlled apartment in Greenwich Village three weeks ago to move to Washington."

As any New Yorker knows, you don't give up a rent-controlled apartment, especially in the Village, on a whim.

For this alone, he should be impeached

Former Surgeon General Richard H. Carmona told a Congressional panel Tuesday that top Bush administration officials repeatedly tried to weaken or suppress important public health reports because of political considerations.

The administration, Dr. Carmona said, would not allow him to speak or issue reports about stem cells, emergency contraception, sex education, or prison, mental and global health issues. Top officials delayed for years and tried to “water down” a landmark report on secondhand smoke, he said. Released last year, the report concluded that even brief exposure to cigarette smoke could cause immediate harm.

You know, it's one thing to get disgusted about the continuous stream of fuck-ups from the Bush administration - from Iraq to Katrina, from the economy to national security.

But that can almost completely be attributed to the guy in the Oval Office being a less than bright, lazy, arrogant frat-boy, who surrounds himself with incompetent cronies and doesn't really give a rat's ass about anyone else.

However, when they deliberately try to hamper science and make it skew to the benefit of their corporate benefactors - or to keep their right-wing Christian base happy - that's criminal.

I know it really shouldn't come as a surprise from a crowd that denies global warming is real, or wants creationism taught in the public schools instead of evolution, but to hear a former Surgeon General reveal in chilling detail the length they go to in an attempt to pervert science is disgusting.

By the way, notice how much of it - preventing contraception or sex education - is centered around the usual right-wing fear of sex. They really hate sex.

Unless it's a Republican Senator using an escort service or a Republican Congressman trying to get into the pants of teenage pages.

Then, woo baby, anything goes.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

In other news, sun to rise in East tomorrow

Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) apologized last night after his telephone number appeared in the phone records of the woman dubbed the "D.C. Madam," making him the first member of Congress to become ensnared in the high-profile case.
- Washington Post

A conservative red-state Republican (who railed against gay marriage because it would weaken the "sanctity of marriage") caught using whores?


Who woulda thunk the GOP and religious right would be riddled with hypocrites.

Oh, wait, I forgot, that's sort of par for the course.

His statement is priceless too:

“This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible,” Vitter said in a statement released by his office.

“Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling,'' he added. "Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there -- with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way.”

I love how these Christian nuts always trot out God.

After they've finished boinking the 19-year-old call girl.

In this country, Bush would probably give him a Presidential Medal of Honor

China on Tuesday executed the former head of its food and drug watchdog who had become a symbol of the country's wide-ranging problems on product safety.

Zheng Xiaoyu's execution was confirmed by state television and the official Xinhua News Agency.

''The few corrupt officials of the (State Food and Drug Administration) are the shame of the whole system and their scandals have revealed some very serious problems,'' SFDA spokeswoman Yan Jiangying said at a news conference held to highlight efforts to improve China's track record on food and drug safety.
- AP via NYT

Yikes - they don't mess around over there.

Here, Bush officials have presided over devastating screwups ranging from the pathetic response to Hurricane Katrina to fatally flawed Iraq WMD intelligence dragging us into that bloody quagmire, totally incompetent planning for the aftermath of the invasion, and, oh, let's throw in the horrendous conditions at Walter Reed Army Hospital too.

That's just a few of the many failures of the Bush regime, of course. And what do many of the officials get when their incompetencies are finally discovered?

Medals, high-paying lobbying jobs and consulting gigs on Fox.

It may just be time to start having a few executions of the Washington elite to put a little fear of God in them. I'm just saying.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Geez, there's a surprise

WASHINGTON - A progress report on Iraq will conclude that the U.S.-backed government in Baghdad has not met any of its targets for political, economic and other reform, speeding up the Bush administration's reckoning on what to do next, a U.S. official said Monday.

I know, I know. It's hard to believe an ill-advised, unnecessary war that we were lied into by a dishonest administration, and that is being run by perhaps the most incompetent group of buffoons to ever hold the levers of government (can anyone say Hurricane Katrina aftermath or Walter Reed scandal) is not going to meet the targets for success. The minimal targets set by these people, no less.

But President Huffy McBelligerent doesn't care. The war will continue because he's only concerned about looking resolute. And more innocent people will die.

We are all praying for January 2009, when Boy George finally leaves office.

Hell, although it's for the wrong reasons (Bush doesn't hate Mexicans enough) even some of the right-wingers are finally beginning to turn against him.

Who are these people?

The headline is said in my best Jerry Seinfeld voice: Who are these people who insist on going jogging when it's approaching 100 degrees out there?

Seriously, what is wrong with them?

I took a little post-lunch stroll through the park today and I couldn't believe how many people were jogging, even though, at 3 pm, it was about 95 degrees.

I know some of you like to exercise, but that's really dumb. Half of them looked like they were going to collapse. Of course, even if it's a brisk 62 degrees, people who are running still look miserable. It does not seem like a happy hobby.

Because of the ridiculous heat, I almost passed on taking my stroll, even though it was leisurely and I stayed in the shade, but it's part of my new weight-loss regimen, which is a fantastic success.

I lost 16 pounds in the first month, and going for another 10 or so this month. I would love to tell you the secret of what I'm doing - it's very easy, doesn't cost anything, no special food or drinks to buy - but I was sworn to secrecy about it so I really can't.

And more importantly, one of my huskier friends reads Too Saucy, and I can't take the chance of him learning how to lose weight. One of the small pleasures I have is pointing out his huskiness, so the rest of you will have to do without the amazing secret too. Sorry.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

I call shenanigans

A research project reported in Science magazine seems a little off to me:

Women are no chattier than men

Women in search of the prototypical male - the strong, silent type - will be disappointed to learn that scientists have uncovered why they're so hard to find.

Their numbers are scarce.

Despite prevalent societal stereotypes, scientists report that women and men are equally talkative.

The study, published online yesterday in Science Magazine, recorded the conversations of 400 university students over several days and found that, on average, men and women both speak about 16,000 words a day. Individuals ranged from 700 to 47,000 words per day.

"I was surprised by the results," said Matthias Mehl, a professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, Tucson, and lead author of the study. "We all approached it with the idea that all women talk more than men."

While the study deals only with how much men and women talk, Mehl also found some robust sex-specific differences he plans to publish later. "Men talk about technology, sports and money. They use more numbers," Mehl said. "Women talk about fashion, but also about relationships."

Now I know you really can't go just by personal experience, and this was apparently a scientifically controlled experiment and all, but those results really do seem to fly in the face of everyday life.

It says men and women alike speak about 16,000 words a day. Hell, I know a family of girls who can do about 16,000 words in an hour.

Friday, July 06, 2007

He's still got Laura and his little dog, Barney

Support among Republicans for President Bush’s Iraq policy eroded further on Thursday as another senior lawmaker, Senator Pete V. Domenici of New Mexico, broke with the White House just as Congressional Democrats prepared to renew their challenge to the war.

And another one jumps from the ship.

Of course, Domenici got in some political trouble in New Mexico earlier this year with his involvement in the U.S. Attorney firing scandal, so he's looking to get some brownie points from the electorate there. But when the Republican candidates running for president start backing off the Iraq policy, as they will, that's when you will know it will really be over for Bush and his disastrous war policy.

Right now, the candidates feel they still have to support it, because the GOP base who vote in the primaries are the rabid right-wingers who still support W. They're that strange 20 percent who continue to show up in the polls as laughably saying they approve of his job performance, and so the 2008 hopefuls feel they have to continue to back him on the war. But there's going to come a time when they're running in the general election, trying to get votes beyond that right-wing fringe, when supporting the war will be a political kiss of death.

And then they will run from the policy quicker than Dick Cheney can kick a puppy and drink its blood.

Of course, until it politically suits the Republicans, U.S. soldiers will be getting killed in Iraq every day. But, hey, the GOP is the party that supports the troops, don't you know.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Lower back pain and the city

TVGuide.com is reporting "that the long-gestating Sex and the City feature film is at long last a go. According to my spies, New Line Cinema is on the verge of closing a deal to distribute the pic in association with HBO. Shooting is slated to begin in mid-September with Sex symbols Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis and, yes, Kim Cattrall, reprising their signature roles."

Although every girl in New York's head just exploded with joy, I'm thinking - how old are those four now?

Just what we want to see: a bunch of grandmas strutting around in heels.

Nixon is still with us

According to a new Rasmussen Poll, George W. Bush is just one point away from being the most unpopular president in history, second only to Richard Nixon, the disgraced chief executive who had to resign in the wake of Watergate.

"The highest unfavorable rating for any President is earned by Richard Nixon. Sixty percent (60%) of Americans have an unfavorable opinion of the only President to resign from office. Close on Nixon’s heels for most unpopular is the current President, George W. Bush. Fifty-nine percent (59%) have an unfavorable opinion of him."

Nixon is really a fascinating character and today would be considered among the more liberal of Republicans - which shows how far to the right the GOP has moved.

There's a great Oliver Stone movie about Nixon (cleverly called "Nixon") - with Anthony Hopkins no less! - as the president, and it really shows his internal demons. It plays on the movie stations occasionally, so check it out the next time it comes on. Also, "Nixon Agonistes," by Garry Wills is one of my favorite contemporary history books and worth a read.

And, staying with Nixon, there's an interesting story about one of the current crop of likely Republican candidates that has just come out from The Boston Globe.

Former Sen. Fred Thompson, (cheesy actor and The Ladies Man) who was a lawyer for House Republicans on the committee considering impeaching Nixon, apparently was a mole, reporting details on the investigation to the Nixon White House and trying to derail it.

The day before Senate Watergate Committee minority counsel Fred Thompson made the inquiry that launched him into the national spotlight -- asking an aide to President Nixon whether there was a White House taping system -- he telephoned Nixon's lawyer.

Thompson tipped off the White House that the committee knew about the taping system and would be making the information public.


It was one of many Thompson leaks to the Nixon team, according to a former investigator for Democrats on the committee, Scott Armstrong , who remains upset at Thompson's actions.

"Thompson was a mole for the White House," Armstrong said in an interview. "Fred was working hammer and tong to defeat the investigation of finding out what happened to authorize Watergate and find out what the role of the president was."

So much for Freddy's idea of Law and Order.

Professor Backwards strikes again

Bush Evokes Revolutionary War to Bolster the U.S. Cause in Iraq

Um, weren't the Americans the ones in their home land fighting against an occupying force?

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Here's how fucked up I am...

I have issues.

My friend Sarah came over Monday night for pizza and beer (Red Stripe on sale at C-Town – a little household hint, it's really really good with pizza) then, after we pigged out, we looked for a movie to watch.

But, as usual, even with the 1,987 channels, including every movie station and all their multiple feeds and VODs, there still wasn't one goddamn thing on that one of us either hadn't already seen or particularly wanted to watch.

We ended up settling on an old movie playing on Cinemax OD, “True Crime,” with Clint Eastwood. He plays a “grizzled” reporter investigating the case of an innocent guy on death row and, natch, saves the day. Totally corny, totally cliché, totally unrealistic. But, come on, who doesn't enjoy a good Innocent Man on Death Row, Will They Save Him in Time? story. (Not to mention, at the beginning of the movie, 74-year-old Clint is making out with a 23-year-old cub reporter – nice touch, Clint!)

I digress.

So, there's a scene where the innocent guy on death row is getting the execution procedure explained to him by the prison warden, who says something like: “...then we'll bring your final meal,” and, I swear, for the next 10 minutes all I could think about was what I would order if I was on death row and able to order a last meal.

God forbid I just think about actually going to a great NYC restaurant. No, I have to imagine being on death row.

Anyway, I don't know how realistic this was, because I'm not sure if you get to choose more than one of each course (I was very big on the apps) – and I'm pretty sure you don't even get to have alcohol – but the fucked-up thing is, I was actually enjoying imagining being on death row and eating a great final meal.

So to begin – French onion soup au gratin AND a Caesar salad AND shrimp cocktail (5 jumbo South African shrimp with a spicy cocktail sauce).

For an entree – a juicy filet mignon (medium rare) with creamed spinach and a baked potato with sour cream, accompanied by a warm crusty loaf of Italian bread with creamy butter on the side (oy gevalt, that's a lot of creams.)

Then dessert – cheesecake with fresh cherries on top.

(I mean, what the hell, I'm not going to be worrying about my weight or my arteries - it's Death Row, damn it!)

And – of course, key detail – all of it is accompanied by an amusing little '04 Pinot Noir and a bottle of smoky Laphroaig Scotch, with a pitcher of icy water on the side.

And, fuck it, a Jack and Coke too, just for old times sake.

I figure, by the time they came to get me, I would be so logy from the food and buzzed from the alky, I wouldn't even really notice when they strapped me down and put the damn needle in.

The bastards.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Smarter business plan than the iPhone launch

I just saw an ad in the Village Voice looking for bartenders for the Hawaiian Tropic bar/restaurant in Times Square.

I've never been there, figuring it's probably a bit of a tourist trap, but I may have to reconsider.

The ad says applicants should bring: "Valid Photo ID, Head Shot, Resume, Bikini and Heels."

Bikini and heels!!!


And they say God has no sense of humor

"Why isn’t everyone beautiful, smart and healthy? Or, in a less-polite formulation, why haven’t ugly, stupid, unhealthy people been bred out of the population — ugly people because no one will have them as mates, meaning they don’t get the chance to pass their ugliness to the next generation; stupid people because they’re outgunned in the race to financial success (that is, acquiring resources needed to survive and reproduce); unhealthy people because they die before they get a chance to reproduce?

Evolutionary theory predicts that the unfeeling hand of natural selection would lead to a culling of disadvantageous traits—or, as biologists more delicately phrase it, “depletion of genetic variation in natural populations as a result of the effects of selection.”

But look around, and you’ll see that that has not happened—not in people, and not in wild animals where homely and infirm offspring are born all the time."

- Newsweek

This is true

They're still around?

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Video rental chain Blockbuster Inc. named on Monday James Keyes as its new chairman and chief executive to replace current CEO John Antioco.

Until I saw that item today, I had forgotten Blockbuster even existed. Between Netflix and the cable companies' VOD services, I don't know too many people who go to Blockbuster any more. Their two stores that were in my neighborhood both closed a few years ago. (I used to go to one of them, and I think I still owe about $4 in late fees. Sorry BB. That's probably why they're on their way to going out of business.)

But the Blockbuster saga shows how fast technology changes, when even a store that now rents only DVDs and video games still can't keep up with the times.

I'm guessing that the brick & mortar video stores will soon all go the way of those little one-hour photo developing places. There's a few hanging on, usually as booths inside a drug store, but with digital photography being the dominant force in the camera market today, do you know anyone who still gets film developed?

That explains a lot

"...it now appears that babies learn to deceive from a far younger age than anyone previously suspected. Behavioral experts have found that infants begin to lie from as young as six months. Simple fibs help to train them for more complex deceptions in later life."
- The Telegraph

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