The Ted Haggard Defense

You have to hand it to the right-wingers - they provide hours of enjoyment with their wacky hypocritical shenanigans.

The latest jester is, er, was, one of the Bush administration's top foreign policy officials, Randall Tobias, head of foreign aid programs in the State Department, and, reportedly, one of Condoleeza Rice's “favorites.”

He resigned Friday, “one day after confirming to ABC News that he had been a customer of a Washington, D.C. escort service whose owner has been charged by federal prosecutors with running a prostitution operation.”

“On Thursday, Tobias told ABC News he had several times called the "Pamela Martin and Associates" escort service "to have gals come over to the condo to give me a massage." Tobias, who is married, said there had been "no sex," and that recently he had been using another service "with Central Americans" to provide massages.”

You know, just like Ted Haggard, the creepy right-wing Christian evangelist, who was busted with a male prostitute, but said there was no sex, just massages.

The Tobias story gets even better. In a previous job he was in charge of fighting AIDS, and, of course, like all good little Bushies, ignored science and relied on holy rolling:

“As the Bush administration's so-called "AIDS czar," Tobias was criticized by some for emphasizing faithfulness and abstinence over condom use to prevent the spread of AIDS."

No happy endings with those massages, I guess.

Meanwhile, The Washington Post has this delightful quote: "I'm sad today," said one person close to Tobias. "The president loves him and Condi absolutely loves him."

Sure, but I wonder how his wife feels about him today?

Seriously, the repression and fear of sex among these right-wing Republicans leads them to do some very freaky things. But somehow, they are cloaked with the mantle of being the “family values” party. Pathetic.