Oh Lord, why has thou forsaken me? Again.

I almost went postal today. And, once again, it was thanks to the very bain of my existence – some numbnut who insists on using plastic to pay for a miniscule supermarket bill, and, even better, CAN'T GET IT TO WORK!

I was in a grumpy mood anyway. It's the coldest day of the year – literally freezing at 32 degrees right now – and today, of all days, natch, I had to go into midtown.

On my way home, I stopped in at Key Food for some supplies, chief among them a six of Newcastle Brown Ale on sale for $5.99 – beautiful. Those things cost that much for a pint at a bar.

But then I get stuck behind some genius who decided to pay his big $3.68 bill – I'm not exaggerating, $3.68 – with a goddamn card. And, of course, he couldn't get it to work, they always seem to have problems with their PIN or whatever, so then the cashier had to cancel it all and Einstein paid with cash.

A transaction that literally should have taken 15 seconds went on for about two minutes. And I was stuck there fuming.

Please, people, please, I'm begging all you folks who use plastic for any purchase under $20, please do your grocery shopping at, say, 7 am, way before there's any chance in hell I'm going to be in line behind you.

Thank you.