Gee, I wonder why he was in a bad mood?

SAN DIEGO (Nov. 30) - A killer whale that dragged a trainer underwater twice during a show at SeaWorld Adventure Park may be allowed to perform again, park officials said Thursday.

Hmm, how to cut back on incidents like this?

Oh yeah, here's a suggestion - how about not keeping a whale captive in a fucking glorified aquarium? And making him jump through hoops or whatever they make them do every day for the delight of some overweight hillbillies.

Like those bulls they torture every year in the running at Pamplona, I always root for the animals in these situations.

What, David Duke was too busy to comment?

Noted anti-semite Mel Gibson feels for noted racist Michael Richards, according to Entertainment Weekly, which quotes him expressing sympathy for "Kramer," after the public backlash following his hate-filled nightclub rant.

"They'll probably torture him for a while and then let him go. I like him," Hollywood's #1 bigot says of the new contender for his crown.

Gee, what a surprise.

Heckuva job yet again, Bushie

It looks like Boy George is as unpopular in the rest of the world as he is here.

A meeting he had scheduled with the Prime Minister of Iraq and King of Jordan was abruptly canceled, as the leaders realize Bush is poison these days, incredibly unpopular with their people.

When he arrived in Jordan, he was greeted with masses of protesters on the street. In fact, any time he travels he is isolated in a protective bubble, far more than any previous U.S. President has been, because he is so despised.

He never gets a chance to walk among average people in a country he is visiting. Compare that to Bill Clinton, who was beloved around the world (remember that amazing scene of him being enveloped in a loving crowd in Dublin)?

The way things are going now, the only people Bush remains popular with is a rapidly dwindling group of red state right-wingers and perhaps the anti-abortion crowd.

Speaking of Clinton, his foundation, which has already raised billions to combat poverty, AIDS and global warming, just announced a deal it has brokered to provide AIDS medicine for impoverished Third World kids.

You know, that's that evil Bill Clinton, the guy the Republicans impeached because he got a bob job.

But, hey, I'm sure when Bush is out of office, he will do much good work too.

Yeah, right.

Well, he still has his dog Barney on his side. Oh, wait, that's right. He can't even hold the poor little thing correctly. Bush dropped it on its back once. (Check out the look of horror on the kids' faces). Fucking idiot.

Damn dirty apes

"Chimpanzees may be our closest biological relatives, but male chimps appear to differ from male humans in one striking way -- they clearly prefer older females, according to new research.

"In contrast to humans, the researchers found, male chimps find older females more desirable, approaching them more often to mate, fighting more with other males over them and mating with them far more frequently than with younger females. That is true even for higher-ranking male chimps, which have more choice of mates. The findings confirm the earlier results of other researchers."
- Washington Post

Have these stupid chimps never seen College Girls Gone Wild?

Jesus H. Christ

All you need to know about the scum who run right-wing groups like the so-called "Christian" Coalition is explained in this Washington Post story about the group's new leader, who was removed from office before he even took power.

His "sin?" He wanted to expand the group's issues beyond gay bashing and anti-choice rhetoric to include such radical causes as fighting AIDS and global warming. What a commie.

"The Rev. Joel Hunter, pastor of a nondenominational megachurch in Longwood, Fla., said he resigned as the coalition's incoming president because its board of directors disagreed with his plan to broaden the organization's agenda. In addition to opposing abortion and same-sex marriage, Hunter, 58, wanted to take on such issues as poverty, global warming and HIV/AIDS."

"My position is, unless we are caring as much for the vulnerable outside the womb as inside the womb, we're not carrying out the full message of Jesus," he said in a telephone interview yesterday. "They began to think this might threaten their base or evaporate some of their support, and they said they just couldn't go there."

That's astounding.

Seeking to battle issues like poverty and global warming is somehow "threatening" to the group's base?

They believe strongly that abortion is somehow evil and want to ban it. Fine. I disagree with them, but people have differing views on that issue. But how on earth can they be against efforts to combat poverty?

And how the hell can they actually claim to follow the teaching of Christ, who, let's face it, would basically be for the additional issues Hunter also wanted to focus on (and, of course, JHC never actually said anything about abortion or gay marriage).

Hopefully the recent election results means these hillbillies are losing political influence. And with the views they espouse, it's not hard to see why.

Verizon Wireless Sucks!

That is all.

(Oh yeah, and their spokesman is just creepy. Lose that guy already.)

Fuckers.

In other startling news....

...water is reportedly wet.

White House Circus

President Bush today said Al Qaeda was to blame for the rising wave of sectarian violence in Iraq, which he refused to label a civil war. Mr. Bush said he would press Iraq’s prime minister during meetings in Jordan later this week to lay out a strategy for restoring order.
- NY Times

Listening to this guy talk about the debacle he's caused in Iraq, and his self-denial, is fascinating. He reminds me of that cloying comic strip, Family Circus. You know, with all the cute little kids saying cute little funny things (unfortunately never as funny as this parody).

One of the strip's recurring themes (besides the always popular dotted line tracing Billy's convoluted path on his way to school) shows the kids standing in front of a smashed vase or lamp or something and the parents looking angrily at them, and the kids saying "Not me," with a sort of ghostly image labeled Not Me hovering around (in case you don't get it).

Well that's Bush's way of explaining away the problem in Iraq. Not Me.

But of course it is him. It was his ultimate decision to invade Iraq and depose Saddam, and now that country is disintegrating. Civil war has broken out, hundreds are killed every day, civil society is ceasing to function, Iran is getting stronger. And, of course, almost 3,000 U.S. troops have been killed with tens of thousands more maimed.

The American public has soured on the war, and we are eventually going to pull out (even if it won't happen until Bush leaves office - which of course means tens of thousands more Iraqis and thousands more Americans will be killed in the interim), and then the country will really turn into a clusterfuck.

Amazing. We invade a nation, destroy a functioning government (and yes, yes, stipulate Saddam was a nasty guy), bring worsening chaos, and then will get the hell out with the people left living in absolute fear, with less clean water and electricity than before the invasion, unable to go to work or school, and not knowing if they or their family are going to survive the day.

Way to go, Bush. Oh, wait, I forgot: "Not me."

Booty call

Gmail is funny sometimes.

I like the free email service from the folks at Google, it has great storage and search capabilities, but sometimes their word recognition program leaves a little something to be desired.

In case you don't use it, it provides links at the side of your mails to advertisers that they think you might be interested in. They decide that from key words their robot picks up in your mail (they say they don't actually read the content of the mail but just scan it for these key words. I don't know if that's true, but any email provider could be reading your mail at any time, so who the hell knows?)

Anyway, I was emailing with a friend about a recent phone tragedy, and she used the word "ugh" in her mail. And in that mail, the ad links next to it included one for Ugg boots.

I didn't even know girls were still wearing those strange things. Aren't they so five years ago?

And the phone tragedy? Well, I love my Motorola Q, but amazingly enough it does not survive being dropped on a Metro-North train platform. I'm getting a new one, but God forbid Verizon Wireless makes it easy. Since I've had it for more than a month, the store can't give me the replacement, it has to be shipped out from a distribution center in East Bumfuck. I'm cell phoneless until tomorrow. Now that's an ugh!

Abortion and Clay Aiken

I've been doing this blog for almost a year now (oy) and I've discovered there are two hot button issues that almost invariably garner passionate responses: abortion and Clay Aiken.

Abortion, I think we can all understand. It's such a volatile, sensitive topic, and just about everyone has a strong opinion on it, not to mention usually thinks the other side is very wrong.

But Clay Aiken?

In the hundreds of posts I've written, I think I've made only two that have included a brief mention of the “American Idol” favorite (one was just last night, the Gawker video of the "hand incident" with Kelly Ripa) and, I swear, each time, almost within minutes of them going up online, I got angry comments from Clay fans – who, frankly, I doubt read Too Saucy on a regular basis.

They apparently have some sort of web-crawling search engine set up, a special Google or Technorati blog monitoring thingy, that seeks out Clay Aiken mentions. And if they are in any way less than worshipful, they immediately write in to defend their hero. It's really quite fascinating.

If only they would use their evil powers for good.

Just kidding, Clayniacs.

But now leave me alone and go back to knitting colorful scarves for Clay. Or doodling your initials intertwined with his in your notebook. Thank you.

(By the way, that picture totally proves he's not gay.)

Big babies

The Republican Congress, about to lose its majority, is leaving power acting like a bunch of spoiled brats.

AP is reporting that the current Congress is deliberately leaving a half trillion dollars of spending bills undone in the current session so the Democrats will be bogged down with them when they take control in January and have to devote time and energy to them instead of their own priorities.

You should try skipping out of work sometime without doing the job you're supposed to - see how well that would go over.

Meanwhile, a Democratic staffer on the House intelligence committee has been cleared of any wrongdoing after being accused of leaking a document to the New York Times, and has been reinstated to his position. An inquiry found that the charge against him was basically a fraud, retaliation from the Republican chairman of the committee to punish a Democratic member who had offended him.

It's really unbelievable. These are supposedly serious people, legislating life and death issues and doing the nation's business, but they're basically seventh graders having a hissy fit.

Clay Aiken's gay?

Thank God I'm usually too sleepy to watch the late morning talk shows and the inanity they broadcast on a daily basis.

But occasionally you miss some fun stuff. Thankfully, though, we now have You Tube to catch up on the nonsense.

Apparently Clay Aiken of "American Idol" fame was filling in for Regis on "Live With Regis & Kelly" a few days ago, and, during an interview segment, jokingly (I guess) put his hand over Kelly Ripa's mouth to stop her from talking. She sort of recoiled and said, "That's a no-no. I don't know where that hand's been, honey."

Which is sort of an amusing line.

But then on "The View" the following day, big-mouth Rosie O'Donnell, self-appointed queen of the gays, said that the comment was homophobic of Kelly.

Now, there probably was a bit of that going on. (Although, let's face it, it also was pretty obnoxious of Aiken to do the hand thing. Actually, I've heard quite a few obnoxious tales about him - as in screaming at people who didn't recognize him, "Don't you know who I am?")

But, er, the thing is, Aiken denies he's gay. As do his diehard fans. (Which, of course, is somewhat like George Bush's fans denying he's a dimwit.) So did Rosie, in a way, out him?

Anyway, here's a clip of the hand incident from "Live" and then the beginning of a segment from "The View," where Kelly called in to defend herself the following day against Rosie's charge.

By the way, I have no clue who Clay and Kelly are interviewing, nor who Star Jones Jr. is that's sitting next to Rosie on "The View." Also, I'm sad Kelly's wearing pants in the "Live" clip. She has great legs.

I think that red wine stuff really works

I just walked to Grand Central and home again - about 100 blocks round trip, which (at 20 city blocks equaling 1 mile) means a brisk walk of 5 miles. And I feel mah-velous. I really think those stories about the medicinal value of red wine are true. Plus, I just finished taunting a friend who gets out of breath walking to the corner bus stop.

I headed to GCT to pick up my train ticket for Thanksgiving, as it's usually a zoo there on that day. First, you have all sorts of people who don't usually ride the rails, so they don't know where to go. And Metro North does this weird thing on Thanksgiving where you have to have the ticket before you board. Because they add so many extra trains that day, conductors usually don't come around to collect tickets once the train is underway, so they collect them at the platform gate, you don't even have the option of buying them on the train with the onboard penalty.

Quite annoying.

But now I need some medicinal shiraz.

Pass the gravy

First, O.J. is canceled, and now this. It truly is a time for Thanksgiving.

Murdoch channels Bush

Rupert Murdoch, the Dr. Evil of media, whose Fox TV and HarperCollins publishing operations were behind the just-cancelled O.J. Simpson attrocity, released a statement yesterday on the incident.

"I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project," News Corp. Chairman and Chief Executive Rupert Murdoch said yesterday."

"I and senior management agree with the American public..."

Huh?

Make no mistake about it, a project at this level was greenlit in the first place by Murdoch. Now his weasely statement makes it sound like he was blindsided by the whole thing, and, once he found out about it, quickly canceled it.

Appropriately enough, he's following in the path of his ideological soulmate George Bush, who blames everybody but himself for the Iraq debacle: It's Rumsfeld, it's the generals, it's the defeatist Democrats, it's the media who concentrate on all the bad news and never tell the good side and yadda yadda.

No, W. The war is yours and yours alone. And sorry, Rupe, the sleazy O.J. project was yours and yours alone.

Why don't these people ever admit responsibility?

Ha ha

OJ canceled. Apparently even Murdoch can be shamed.

But the ice sculptures on the buffet tables are spectacular

Fort Lauderdale -- Passengers disembarking at Port Everglades Sunday said their 16-day cruise on Carnival Cruise Lines' Liberty turned from tranquil to terrible when a highly contagious intestinal virus swept through the ship, flooding the infirmary with almost 700 patients and quarantining many in their staterooms.
- Sun Sentinel

Why do people still take cruises?

Every month I seem to hear about some damn ship returning to port with everyone on it sick as a dog. And if they're not all vomiting, someone has gotten drunk, fallen off board and disappeared for ever.

Sounds like a real party on those ships.

March of the morons

If you ever needed a reminder about how bizarre the right-wing mentality is, consider this AP story:

SHILOH, Ill. - A picture book about two male penguins raising a baby penguin is getting a chilly reception among some parents who worry about the book's availability to children — and the reluctance of school administrators to restrict access to it.

The concerns are the latest involving "And Tango Makes Three," the illustrated children's book based on a true story of two male penguins in New York City's Central Park Zoo that adopted a fertilized egg and raised the chick as their own.

Complaining about the book's homosexual undertones, some parents of Shiloh Elementary School students believe the book — available to be checked out of the school's library in this 11,000-resident town 20 miles east of St. Louis — tackles topics their children aren't ready to handle.

These hillbillies aren't complaining about some fictional story that they see as somehow trying to indoctrinate their kids into the – gasp – gay lifestyle. They are outraged about a book depicting a fairly well-known real news story, in which Roy and Silo, two male penguins in the Central Park Zoo, were devoted to each other and then basically adopted and raised a chicklet together.

You know, it's one thing when these nutjobs get all riled about the Harry Potter books because they believe they promote “witchcraft.” Most people laugh at them when they go through that little song and dance.

But when they actually try to censor a story about a real-life event it's borderline obscene.

Perhaps part of their fear is that the story somewhat puts the lie to their theory that homosexuality is a choice that only decadent humans make. (Because, of course, so many people willfully will choose to be part of a much hated and discriminated minority).

It also makes me wonder how many of these rightwingers are living a closeted lifestyle. If they fear that the least little bit of provocation can turn their kids gay, what is going on in their own sick little minds? How easy would it be for them to make the jump?

How many Mark Foleys and Ted Haggards are out there in rightwing, red state America? I think more than we can imagine.

Inner nerd warning

I'm afraid my inner nerd has kicked in lately, jump started a few weeks ago when Cinemax ran all six Star Wars movies in hi-def.

Now, I must hasten to point out, I can't really be that much of a nerd, because I never actually saw any of these films before. I'm more of a Star Trek: The Next Generation guy (see, not nerdy at all), and from what I had always heard of the SW movies, the epic storytelling, the ancient myths, well blah blah, it all just seemed a bit pretentious.

But here they were being fed to my house, so what the hell. I fired up the hi-def DVR (and thank you Time Warner for accidently giving me the box and service for free - haha) and recorded all of them. I think it's about 14 hours worth all together.

I began watching them this weekend, starting with the first one, filmed back in the 1970s, and which is now actually called Star Wars IV: A New Hope (see, pretentious). Ok, if you're not a SW nut, they made the first three (from 1977-1983), there was a break of 16 years, and then they made the second group of three (from 1999-2005). But the second trilogy is actually a prequel, set in a period before the first three, so they became Star Wars I-III, and the first three filmed are now titled IV-VI. Get it? Yeah, it is annoying.

I wasn't sure if I should watch them in the order they are numbered, I-VI, but I opted for the chronological order they were made, as that's the way they would have been seen in the movie theaters.

Anyhoo, this is all a long way of saying: I've finally got up to Star Wars I, (which is, of course, the fourth one, from 1999), and this is the chapter where Natalie Portman is introduced as the queen. And wow, I forgot how goddamn cute she is.

Making a mountain out of a molehill

WASHINGTON -- The government ended a 14-year virtual ban on silicone-gel breast implants Friday despite lingering safety concerns, making the devices available to tens of thousands of women who have clamored for them.
-AP

Speaking only as a connoisseur, here is my list, in descending order, of preference:

Natural
Saline
Toilet paper bra stuffing
Silicone

Hey, that's just me.

I know some guys are, but I've never really been a fan of ginormous unnatural boobies.

Carry on.

What would Jesus do? If he were a derelict...

I think he would say, "It's Friday, the weather is gorgeous. It's time to knock off early and head to my fav Irish pub (on 2nd Ave.) for some fish & chips and Guinness."

That's just my interpretation, of course.

Thank you.

Don't get any funny ideas about owning those uteruses, gals

Even though the Democrats have taken Congress and can work to block any more right-wing nutjobs being appointed to the judiciary by George Bush, and even though the new Democratic-controlled Congress won't be introducing any legislation to chip away at abortion rights, the Bush administration is still working overtime to make sure American women understand their uteruses belong to the Republicans.

According to The Washington Post: "The Bush administration has appointed a new chief of family-planning programs at the Department of Health and Human Services who worked at a Christian pregnancy-counseling organization that regards the distribution of contraceptives as "demeaning to women."

Understand, they are not just oposed to abortion rights, they are opposed to contraception.

The Post notes the "pregnancy counseling group" this genius worked at "supports sexual abstinence until marriage, opposes contraception and does not distribute information promoting birth control at its six centers in eastern Massachusetts."

Lovely.

I have never understood the logic of these clowns who say they are opposed to abortion - but then work to prevent birth control information or even contraceptives from being provided to prevent unplanned pregnancies.

And for a movement that treats women as second class citizens who should not be able to control the most personal part of their lives, their goddamn reproductive systems no less, to then call anything "demeaning to women" takes brass balls. (An appropriate term, by the way, as most of the leading anti-abortion nuts tend to be men).

"Next on Larry King Live, the inventor of that newfangled moving picture machine..."

"CNN’s Larry King confessed to Roseanne Barr that he’s never used the Internet. King expressed doubt that the Internet was a viable political medium because “there’s 80 billion things on it.” When Barr said she liked the Internet, King acknowledged that “I’ve never done it, never gone searching.”

Barr said King would love the internet if he tried it. King replied, “I wouldn’t love it. What do you punch little buttons and things?” Barr even offered to show King how to use the Internet. King declined."
- Think Progress

Of course, this coming from a guy who wears suspenders, can barely remember who he's talking to (in September, he had Andre Agassi on and called him Pancho Gonzalez - I kid you not!), and is, what, 107 years old? I guess it's not exactly breaking news he doesn't know how to "punch little buttons and things" on the Internet.

Jerry Falwell's big pumpkin head is exploding right about now

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — About 1 percent of Web sites indexed by Google and Microsoft are sexually explicit, according to a U.S. government-commissioned study.

One percent?

I'm pretty sure I've seen at least three percent just by myself.

I guess he's taking time off from hunting for the killers

O.J. Simpson is doing a book and an accompanying TV special.

"According to a news release, the book and the TV special, which has a working title of “O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened,” will depict Mr. Simpson describing “how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade.”

If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened?

That's like me writing a book: "If I Drank Jack Daniels, Here's the Soda I Would Mix it With."

The real face of the GOP

If you ever had any doubts about the racial undertones of the Republican party, they should be put to rest with the news out of Washington that Sen. Trent Lott (R-Miss) has been elected to the number two spot among the Senate GOP caucus and is back in his party's leadership.

Lott, you may recall, had to step down as Senate Majority Leader four years ago (during those horrible days when the GOP had the majority) after he spoke approvingly of fellow southern senator Strom Thurmond's presidential run as a strict segragationist.

Thurmond, of course, had been a Democrat for many years, but when the Democrats started changing in the 1940s and 50, and became supportive of civil rights, he, like many good ol' boy Southern bigots, became a Republican, which then became the party of the South. But before he did that he became a "Dixiecrat," and made a futile run for the presidency in 1948.

Lott set off the firestorm, which has apparently cooled, when he said the country would have been better off if Thurmond's hateful ways had been the policy of the land. Ugh.

The Republicans were shamed into forcing him to step down as majority leader, but now he's weaseled his way back into the leadership.

For years, the GOP has been saying the characterization of it as the party of racism and bigotry is wrong and exaggerated. But now here it is putting a clear bigot back into a position of power.

Not to mention, one of its just ousted senators, George Allen of Virginia, proudly portrays himself as a good ol' boy. He kept a noose in his office for years, and, of course, his bid for re-election was derailed when he was caught on tape calling a young campaign worker of his opponent "macacca," a racial slur.

But this is the party that's changed so much, they tell us.

Sure it has. And say hello to Trent Lott, the new number two man in the Senate Republicans. Thankfully, and ironically, now the minority party.

A little more eyeliner, Mr. President?

"Rudolph W. Giuliani, the former mayor of New York City, has taken the first step to mounting a presidential candidacy, forming an organization in New York State on Friday to explore a White House run."
-NYT

Some of my friends get excited when they hear the occasional rumors that Rudy Giuliani, the former mayor of this burg, may run for president. No doubt more will be spurred by this announcement of an exploratory committee. "He'll be so good on terror, he was great on 9/11," they gush. (Yes, I have friends who gush. How embarrassing. I digress.) "And he was great on reducing crime in New York, he can do that nationally," they add.

There's just a little problem with the scenario of Rudy as the great GOP hope.

Sure, it's true, he did launch a dramatic clean-up of this town, from eliminating that annoying subway graffiti to presiding over a still plummeting crime rate (that actually started under his predecessor, David Dinkins, but the bulk of it happened under Rudy.) Crime has dropped so much, in fact, that NYC is easily the safest big city in the country, according to FBI stats.

And Rudy was indeed a voice of calm and reason on 9/11. Granted, he basically did what we should expect of any government leader - tell the people what was going on, make sure the rescue forces had the tools they needed, and maintain an air of calm on TV. It's just that in comparison to George Bush - who, after being told the country was under attack, froze for seven long minutes in the Florida classroom where he was speaking, then fled to a hole in the ground in Nebraska, and then, when he appeared on TV that night, looked scared shitless - Rudy seemed really amazing. Fuck, compared to Bush, my building's doorman was a model of calmness.

But fine, let's give Rudy credit for reducing crime and for showing competence on 9/11.

Springboarding on his 9/11 reputation, he's been lionized as "America's Mayor" since he left City Hall, and has traveled the country speaking for local GOP candidates running for office, collecting a lot of chits along the way for any future run he may make. He would clearly be a formidible candidate if he was the Republican nominee in 2008.

But here's the thing: the factors that allowed him to get elected in this heavily Democratic city ensure he would never get the Republican nomination.

He is pro-choice. He is pro-gun control. He is pro-gay rights. He is what they call a RINO - Republican in Name Only. (Our current mayor, Mike Bloomberg, is too.)

As much as candidates around the country love having Rudy fundraise, as much as those of us in blue state America like his issues, does anyone honestly think today's Republican party, the party of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson and James Dobson, would allow Rudy to get the GOP nomination? Hell, these people think John McCain is too liberal - and he's not even pro-choice.

Most of the audiences he speaks in front of, in these little GOP enclaves, have no idea of his positions on those social issues - he tends to be brought in to speak on security matters. But you can be damn sure that his opponents in the Republican primaries will make sure his positions are known. Not to mention that he's on his third wife. With the bonus fun fact that after divorcing his second wife, Donna Hanover, and she kicked him out of Gracie Mansion, he lived with friends of his for a while - who just happened to be a gay couple on the Upper East Side. I'm sure that will go over real well in Alabammy.

Oh, and did I mention he has a propensity for appearing in drag? He's done it at the annual City Hall correspondents dinner, and also on "Saturday Night Live" no less. How long do you think it would be before this picture of Rudy appears on campaign fliers in, say, South Carolina?

Anyway, the social issues are the heart and soul of the modern Republican party. It's how they get their base out to vote. There is NO WAY Rudy could get through the nomination process and become the GOP candidate.

And, if by some miracle he did, the Christian conservatives would sit the 2008 election out. They would never vote for him. The GOP knows this.

He might - MIGHT - be able to get on a ticket as a VP candidate, but there is no way in hell he will be the Republican presidential nominee in 2008. That party is controlled too much by the religious right.

Bush once again leaves his mark on the world

How bad are things in Iraq these days?

Iraqis are getting their names and phone numbers tatooed on their bodies, even though tatoos are against Islamic tradition, so they can be identified if they are killed and mutiliated beyond recognition.

The caption and photo in this chilling story in the Mercury News tells you all you need to know about the chaos and despair unleashed there since the U.S. invaded and toppled Hussein:

Ali Abbas, a 24-year-old Iraqi man, shows a tattoo giving his name, neighborhood and family phone number as identification in case he is killed in a bombing or a kidnapping and then dumped on a street. Although tatoos go against Islamic law, many Iraqis are getting ID tattoos so they won't be a nameless victim. Note, some of the lettering on his tattoo has been digitally altered to protect his identity.


But, hey, if you listen to Bush and John McCain and the increasingly slimy Joe Lieberman, we're always just turning a corner in Iraq, because, you know, we got Sadaam, we killed his sons, they held elections, why, we just need three more months before democracy blooms in the region.

Ok, there's less electricity and clean water than before the war, and people are afraid to go to work, school or shop. Bodies are piling up so fast they can't even keep count and have begun burying them in mass graves. Iran has been strengthened and the U.S. is more hated than ever in the Middle East. And almost 3,000 American military have been killed.

But Bush and his team scored a glorious victory for democracy by toppling Hussein, who had, er, well, nothing to do with 9-11.

How the hell do these people sleep at night?

And I have witnesses

"President Bush's wax likeness is taking a thumpin' these days at Madame Tussaud's celebrity waxworks in Las Vegas.

Bush's head suffered about $25,000 in damages when a Madame Tussaud's visitor attacked it the day before last week's elections.

No one's pushed one over before," said Jack Taylor, spokesman for the tourist attraction.

Bush has needed repairs a number of times, mostly from having his nose pinched, Taylor added.

"This was the most damage" to one of the wax figures, he said. "People are always touching them, but this was pretty rare."

- Las Vegas Review-Journal


I swear, I haven't hit Vegas yet - I won't be there until December.

This is why I get the big bucks

Looks like Newsweek's cover story this week is springing off my "Bush's-daddy-is-bailing-him-out-of-a-mess-yet-again" post from last Friday.

Fall guy?

I'm certainly shedding no tears over the departure of Donald Rumsfeld as Secretary of Defense – he presided over one of the most mismanaged military campaigns in this nation's history - but let's keep one thing in mind: this is George W. Bush's war.

Rumsfeld certainly could have planned better for the occupation and the post-war chaos that we see in Iraq now on a daily basis, but he was carrying out a policy ordered by Bush. He wasn't a rogue defense secretary, he wasn't freelancing, there wasn't a quiet coup in Washington.

Blame for the Iraq debacle begins and ends with Bush. With the soulless Dick Cheney no doubt egging him on, it was Bush who decided to make part of the U.S. response to 9-11 be the invasion of a country that had nothing to do with 9-11 (and in the process, of course, allow Bin Laden to remain at large, while Afghanistan is now sliding back under the control of the Taliban.)

And the change in the Pentagon fits the usual pattern of Boy George, who has skated through life using his daddy's name, connections and money. From avoiding service in Vietnam, to the oil business he failed at, from making millions through a sweetheart deal that allowed him to buy the Texas Rangers, to getting into politics, Bush Jr. has led a charmed life – and, unfortunately, we've had to pay for it.

And now daddy is bailing him out yet again. The new Secretary of Defense, Bob Gates, used to work for Bush, Sr. Meanwhile, the Bush family consigliere, James Baker, is heading a commission that will come up with some sort of recommendation about Iraq, no doubt allowing us to “declare victory” and get the hell out.

But in the meantime, almost 3,000 American soldiers and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians are dead, thanks to the reckless and incompetent policies of this empty little suit, unquestionably the worst president in history. Let's not let Rumsfeld take the full blame for that.

Heckuva job, Bushie.

I always knew NJ had sluts, but this is ridiculous...

OCEANPORT, N.J. (AP) -- Quarantines of dozens of thoroughbreds at two New Jersey tracks appear to have contained an outbreak of equine herpes, a potentially deadly virus, officials said.

Horse herpes?

Moon over the meatpacking district - 12:40 am

Even the weather gets better under Democratic control

The Dems take the Senate and now have both houses of Congress - and it's absolutely stunning weather today - sunny and almost 70 degrees out there (68 to be precise).

I just had a delighful lunch (alfresco) at Fetch on Third, and came home to see a replay of George "Maccawitz" Allen's concession speech. This after Conrad Burns has already conceded in Montana.

Even I now have to see the glass as half-full.

Is that Mrs. Beasley in her hands?

Jezus, apparently Rick Santorum's daughter is Buffy, from the old sitcom classic "Family Affair."

Even with the shitty weather today...

Random election thoughts

Just a few thoughts on the election results.

While the Iraq war was no doubt the overriding factor in the Republican defeat last night, I think two other things contributed - perhaps even subconsciously - to the public disatisfaction with the GOP: Hurricane Katrina and Terri Schiavo.

After the government's disastrous response to the aftermath of the hurricane, when we saw a once great American city left to drown, with people literally begging for rescue from their rooftops, and crammed into the squalor of the Superdome for days without food or water, many began to question the competence of the Bush administration. I think that was a real turning point.

Of course, many of us have thought all along that Bush is an empty little suit who has cruised through life on his daddy's name, money and connections. Seeing his response to Katrina brought that home to a lot of others.

And the GOP's revolting interference in the tragic case of Terri Schiavo, the Florida woman who had lain in a vegetative state for a decade, was a real stomach turner for the American people.

When her husband tried to have the life support machines removed to allow her to finally die in dignity, the GOP, the party that claims it wants less government interference, sprang into action.

Looking to appease the pro-life zealots, Republicans passed a law forbidding doctors to remove the machines. Bush flew back from a vacation in Texas to sign the law (he didn't interupt his vacation for Katrina, of course).

And like the Katrina aftermath, this was a real eye-opener for many independents, a group of voters that looks like it voted overwhelmingly for the Democrats last night.

The war in Iraq and the general sense of corruption and sleaze from scummy Republicans like Tom Delay, Duke Cunningham, Bob Ney, Mark Foley, et al, were certainly the main forces driving the votes - but, even though they didn't get a lot of attention during the analysis of the election results during the TV coverage last night, I think Katrina and Schiavo played a not insubstantial role.

And, in a final bit of common sense from the voters: "In a triple setback for conservatives, South Dakota rejected a law that would have banned virtually all abortions, Arizona became the first state to defeat an amendment to ban gay marriage and Missouri approved a measure backing stem cell research."

Michael J. Fox - 1
Fat, drug-addled, triple divorced Rush Limbaugh - 0.

Beautiful.

Pop!

That was the happy sound of the bottle (3 bottles actually) of bubbly being popped at an election party I went to. Yes, someone is more of a political junky than I am, and actually had a viewing party. Nerd.

The Dems, of course, took the House, and, at this point (about 3 am) before I hit the sack, also look in pretty good shape in the Senate. Virginia and Montana are still up in the air right now, with each doable for the Democratic candidates.

And thank you New Jerseyites for coming through in the Senate race there. (I can go back to Bar A on the Jersey shore come summer - whew). If the Dems do take the Senate, it bodes well for future potential Supreme Court appointments. God forbid Bush gets a chance to name another justice, they can at least work to keep him from putting another right-wing nutjob on the bench.

All in all, Tuesday was a pretty good slapback by the American people to the radical right who have been running this country for the last several years. Not that George W. Bush will go out of his way to respond to the clear message. He's a dick who thinks being stubborn is somehow a sign of leadership. But, at least with control of the House and potentially the Senate, there will be some modifying force on his actions.

And my devious plan of being consistently pessimistic about the election results worked, as I can go to bed pleasantly happy and not disappointed.

I'm shocked

"Britney Spears has filed a petition for divorce from Kevin Federline...citing "irreconcilable differences." In her petition, Spears asks for both legal and physical custody of the couple's two children, one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James, with Federline getting reasonable visitation rights."

It's a good job the Republicans are on the case protecting the institution of marriage from all those gay folks.

I wanna be sedated

The elections are driving me nuts. I don't know what to think of the latest polls, and the breathless stories about the Republicans surging.

Of course, I wrote last week that even with a lot of the, at that point, favorable-for-the-Democrats polls, it was all still too close for my liking. (I always tend to be pessimistic, party because I like being pleasantly surprised instead of crushingly disappointed). And now, ABC/Washington Post and Pew Center polls over the weekend say the GOP is coming back, although Gallup says still slightly behind. But then other polls (CNN and Fox) say, no, the Dems still have a comfortable lead for at least taking the House. (The Senate was always more of a challenge). But some of those Senate races that were looking good for the Dems (Montana and Rhode Island) are now tightening, bringing the GOP back into contention there. And New Jersey, normally comfortably Democratic, is still way too close. (Why Gov. Corzine appointed such a flawed candidate as Menendez to fill out the remainder of his term and run this time is beyond me. If this seat flips to the GOP (it might be the only Senate seat currently held by a Democrat that conceivably could), I will never ever visit NJ again, no matter how tempting my ex's beach house on the shore seems every summer). Oy.

Anyway, all these stories are driving me into a state of nervous tension, so there will probably be light or no posting here over the next few days, as I'm going to try to avoid the newscasts and the Internet and the talking head blowhards making their predictions, and just see what happens come tomorrow.

I know there are regular Too Saucy readers in, among other places, NY, Connecticut, NJ, Rhode Island, Minnesota, Tennessee, Massachusetts, Illinois (and, for some reason, a small contingent in the UK too). So go vote tomorrow - and UKers, send us your psychic best that our long national nightmare may be, if not over, at least slowed down.

Vegas, baby!

My annual I-hate-the-cold-weather syndrome has already kicked in, and it's only 49 degrees. Ugh. So, prompted by a great deal that showed up in my email this morning from Travel Zoo (damn, those ads really work), I'm heading to a suite at the Venetian in early December for a few days of debauchery in Sin City.

Thank you.

London Calling

Here's a pretty cool video someone put up on You Tube (someone who obviously has even more free time than I do!) If you know anything about video editing, this took some effort. He took snippets from various speeches of British Prime Minister Tony Blair (it looks like they're from political conventions and debates) and the result is Blair and a chorus of The Clash's immortal "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

Blair is an interesting guy; he always seemed pretty decent and intelligent (certainly more so than our dufus in the White House). And Bush, of course, has been Blair's downfall, dragging the UK into the disastrous Iraq war, which is even more unpopular with the British public than it is with the American. Blair is now incredibly unpopular there, and probably won't be Prime Minister for too much longer.

Jesus, I might be immortal at this point

RED WINE COMPOUND PROMISES LONGEVITY, STUDY FINDS

"A substance found in red wine protected mice from the ill effects of obesity, raising the tantalizing prospect the compound could do the same for humans and may also help people live longer, healthier lives, researchers are reporting today."

- Washington Post

The right-wing echo machine at work

The feigned outrage from the right over John Kerry's remarks are incredibly depressing and disgusting, and another reason for my ongoing pessimism over Tuesday's elections.

It would be one thing if these right-wing politicans and pundits were genuinely outraged at what he said, but the sad truth is, they're not. They are ginning up controversy over some misspoken remarks to get their base fired up for an election in which it had been so demoralized.

To hear draft dodgers like Bush, Cheney, Limbaugh, Hannity, etc., go after Vietnam vet Kerry about a remark in which the senator, at a campaign rally, botched a joke (he was trying to point out how Bush's general cluelessness and lack of sense of history of the volatile middle east has this country now bogged down in Iraq) is revolting. This gave them an excuse to jump up and claim Kerry was somehow mocking the military. And, as we know too well, the sheep who listen to talk radio and watch Fox News will happily be led along by these scum.

You wonder is there any depth these slime won't sink to score cheap political points. Then again, this is a movement that savages a man suffering from Parkinson's Disease to score cheap political points, so I guess we know the answer to that.

And the thing is, even if Kerry really was saying what the right-wingers claim, there is a sad grain of truth to it. Does anyone really think, in our all-volunteer army, that the sons and daughters of the privileged - or even the middle class - are joining up to be sent over to become a statistic in the carnage that is Iraq? In news reports, when you see the names and faces of those 2,800+ killed so far (105 in the Month of October alone) you see a lot of Hispanic names and faces, a lot of African American faces. And I doubt too many of the white faces gave up a semester at Harvard or Stamford to join up. I don't get the sense that the sons and daughters of the country club set, never mind of GOP politicans or right-wing radio hosts, are rushing down to their local army recruiting offices. It tends to be kids for whom the army may be the only way out of a life of a dreary small town or inner city future.

I may be wrong, and maybe the American people - this time - will not allow themselves to be distracted by the shiny ball, but, given recent history in this country, I don't think so.