Maureen Dowd doesn't know me

In her column today (locked away behind the Times' pay wall), Maureen Dowd mocks the totally mockable Mr. Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, for coasting on his wife's fortune and fame.

But she does give him grudging admiration about one aspect of his "career."

"...that is the beauty of K-Fed. In a world where many women now outearn their husbands, it’s rare to find men who can be such blissful and unself-conscious marital moochers. “My album’s gonna hit the pop market because of my wife,’’ he bragged to GQ."

(snip)

"Government statistics show that nearly a third of married women now earn more money than their husbands, and nearly a fourth of women in unmarried-partner households make at least $5,000 more than their guys.

"Kate White, the editor of Cosmopolitan, went on CBS’s “The Early Show” last week to give potent women tips about avoiding the Hilary Swank syndrome. “He’s got to feel like he carries the weight in the relationship somehow,’’ she said. “So if he’s not the main financial provider, he’s got to be the protector, or maybe he’s the really social one. When you have dinner parties, or get-togethers, he’s the one who’s really the dominant social force. You’ve got to let him know he has a big role and you can’t talk about ‘my money.’ It’s got to be ‘our money.’ ’’ (Which brings to mind the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode in which Larry David told a friend’s non-working wife she could not refer to their money as “ours,’’ since the husband was making it all.)"

Honey, look right here. I am so liberated. I would have absolutely NO problem hooking up with a rich girl who will pamper me. Yes, I admit it: I'd like a sugar mommy. And she better make more than just $5,000 more than me. It should be millions more.

Thank you.

p.s. - oh, and she's got to be cute too. I'm shameless and shallow at the same time.