Just about everyone with working brain cells knows The Onion, the great online satirical "newspaper" (it's also in a print edition here in NYC, and probably some other places). It's hilarious, and one of my favorite things to read.
Unfortunately, some of our pro-life, right-wing friends, er, now how do I say this? Don't Have A Fucking Clue.
From last week, here is a pro-life blogger, quoting an Onion "article" (from 1999 no less) and actually thinking the piece, where a "Caroline Weber" writes an article titled, "I'm Totally Psyched About This Abortion!" is real.
As anyone who isn't dumb as a bag of hammers could tell, it is a typical Onion piece. Maybe lines like this could have even been a clue:
"The funny thing is, I actually have the pro-life movement to thank for this opportunity. If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place. Then what would I be doing a week from Thursday? I'll tell you what I wouldn't be doing: going to an awesome abortion clinic where I'll be the center of attention from the minute I put my feet up in those stirrups. I wouldn't be looking forward to induced dilation of my cervical opening and suctioning of my uterus, either. And I sure as heck wouldn't get the chance to have a doctor insert a metal instrument into my womb to dislodge tissue from my uterine wall!"
But not this fucktard. He expresses shock and outrage at her piece, but magnanimously concludes: "Miss Weber, you have killed your child, which you admit is a baby/human being, intentionally. That does make you an admitted murderer. I'm not going to "condemn you to hell", I'm going to pray for your forgiveness and for the suffering which you will endure when you realize what you have done. Every baby you see from that moment on is going to wake you up to the realization that you killed your child."
The commenters on the blog quickly put him straight that it's from a site that also includes articles with titles like: "Congress Raises Executive Minimum Wage to $565.15/hr" and "Critics Blast Bush For Not Praying Hard Enough. " They mocked him so much, in fact, that he shut the comments section down, but they are preserved here.
And it's hard to believe they call the Republicans the stupid party, isn't it?
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