Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Can they be any dumber?

Just about everyone with working brain cells knows The Onion, the great online satirical "newspaper" (it's also in a print edition here in NYC, and probably some other places). It's hilarious, and one of my favorite things to read.

Unfortunately, some of our pro-life, right-wing friends, er, now how do I say this? Don't Have A Fucking Clue.

From last week, here is a pro-life blogger, quoting an Onion "article" (from 1999 no less) and actually thinking the piece, where a "Caroline Weber" writes an article titled, "I'm Totally Psyched About This Abortion!" is real.

As anyone who isn't dumb as a bag of hammers could tell, it is a typical Onion piece. Maybe lines like this could have even been a clue:

"The funny thing is, I actually have the pro-life movement to thank for this opportunity. If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place. Then what would I be doing a week from Thursday? I'll tell you what I wouldn't be doing: going to an awesome abortion clinic where I'll be the center of attention from the minute I put my feet up in those stirrups. I wouldn't be looking forward to induced dilation of my cervical opening and suctioning of my uterus, either. And I sure as heck wouldn't get the chance to have a doctor insert a metal instrument into my womb to dislodge tissue from my uterine wall!"

But not this fucktard. He expresses shock and outrage at her piece, but magnanimously concludes: "Miss Weber, you have killed your child, which you admit is a baby/human being, intentionally. That does make you an admitted murderer. I'm not going to "condemn you to hell", I'm going to pray for your forgiveness and for the suffering which you will endure when you realize what you have done. Every baby you see from that moment on is going to wake you up to the realization that you killed your child."

The commenters on the blog quickly put him straight that it's from a site that also includes articles with titles like: "Congress Raises Executive Minimum Wage to $565.15/hr" and "Critics Blast Bush For Not Praying Hard Enough. " They mocked him so much, in fact, that he shut the comments section down, but they are preserved here.

And it's hard to believe they call the Republicans the stupid party, isn't it?


Anonymous said...

lmao - is that guy a satire or is that real?

Not a hipster said...

Tara, try and read the rest of his site. He is, unfortunately, "for real."

And by try, I mean read it without banging your head against the wall repeatedly.

Anonymous said...

Not a hipster, the funny thing is when you read some of his later posts he tries to claim he knew all along it was satire!!! What a maroon lol

Not a hipster said...

"Uh...yeah, I knew it was...satire. I was just, uh...turning it around, uh...on them."

He's just trying really hard to show us just how s-m-r-a-t he is.

He done showed us.

Not a hipster said...

By the way, JBK, thank you for posting the link to his comments. I had blogged about this, but then added the comments link with thanks to you.

Anonymous said...

Ok sadly that Blog is serious. And that's why we are in such a state! You can all be "sensible" jbk and not a hipster but it's not really normal. You have to realize these people are screwed up, but I'm sorry they are!!! Don't be so casual about it,

J said...

Hey l.w.t, I'm not sure what you mean, but I (and I don't believe Not a Hipster either) am certainly not "casual" about the choice issue. That's the whole reason the story was posted in the first place. I saw it on the great Democratic Underground site and was stunned, not casual.

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