Sunday, June 04, 2006
And the fourth toe on her left foot is too short
“This is why you're single!”
Those lovely words from my alleged friend Velma rang in my ears over the weekend, and she may just have a point, damn her.
The weather was shitty all weekend in the city, so on Saturday night she came over and we watched movies, one of which was “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” on Cinemax.
It stars, of course, Angelina Jolie, who, let's face it, is probably one of the ten most gorgeous women on the face of the Earth. That body, those lips - Shain vi di zibben velten.
Anyway, there's a scene in the middle of the movie where she's drinking a cup of coffee, and I don't know if it was the camera angle, or the lighting on the set, whatever, but in the shot you could see her entire arm, and I suddenly noticed she has some of the most protruding veins I have ever seen. I mean enormous!
So I instinctively said: yuch, disgusting.
To which Velma made the aforementioned comment, pointing out how I seem to almost look for fault, no matter how beautiful a woman is. To further twist in the knife, she said it reminded her of the Seinfeld show, where Jerry would go out with a bevy of beautiful women, a different one just about every week, but end up breaking up with them over silly things.
Of course that ploy got him a quarter of a billion dollars in real life, so what the hell.
Anyway, I know there is a perfect woman out there for me, and damn it, I will find her. Just as long as she doesn't have frighteningly humongous veins.
Posted by J at 4:12 PM
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