Sunday, April 30, 2006

Fly Me to the Moon


I felt like Sinatra in the Rat Pack this weekend. On Friday, my friends Sarah and “Velma” and I went up to the Foxwoods casino in Connecticut, and came back this morning. Let me tell you, there's nothing like a few days of drinking Scotch and strolling around a casino with a “broad' on each side to feel like the Chairman of the Board. Although they refused to dress like Joey Heatherton and Ann-Margret, the little prudes.

All I needed was a fedora and to bring some hookers up to the room and I would been Ol' Blue Eyes redux. Good times.

It was a lot of fun, but, of course, I came away about $600 poorer. I never beat the house at a casino, so I don't know why I even bother. I did black jack, tried baccarat, and played a lot of slots, which actually have some of the worst odds of any game.

And, while we were there, Velma got into an argument with a waitress who caught her putting shrimp cocktails (wrapped up, I will say) from a buffet into a bag, for us to snack on later in the room. She was going to put them in the little fridge, next to the $18 Tobler bars.

It was mortifying.

And it was quite a battle of the minds too – Velma pointing out she had paid for the buffet, so what difference did it make if she ate some in the restaurant or later in the room. The waitress countering: what was to stop anyone then from bringing in Tupperware containers, and just filling them up and carting food away for other people who hadn't paid.

Technically, I suppose she was right, but she was also one of those ball busters who gets off on causing grief. I mean, really, who ever heard of a casino frowning on excess?

As I told Velma, they have cameras and security everywhere in these places, looking for card cheats, scam artists and pickpockets. Only she would be busted for swiping shellfish from a $10 all-you-can-eat buffet table.

She's likely banned from all casinos -- and probably Red Lobsters -- in the tri-state area now.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol cheap bastard - they have 24 hour room service at casinos you know!

t-mobile said...

JBK, slots have not just some of the the worse odds, they have THE WORSE odds in the house.

velma said...

That waitress was a BITCH! And you didn't tell the end - I won the argument and we got the shrimp that we were able to eat at 4 am in the room with a bottle of white wine and watching TV. And anonymous whoever you are, we had all lost a few hundred bucks by this point and on the room service menu the cheapest shrimp was $23! So damn right I took some from the buffet I had already paid for.

megster said...

hehe how many free drinks did you have when you were on the casino floor? I can just imagine:)~

l.w.t. said...

I haven't been to Foxwoods but I've been to Mohegan which was pretty good. I wish there were real casinos in NY so we don't have to travel to get to them!

veganerd said...

nope keno has the worst odds. not slots.

t-mobile said...

Veganerd, is that right? I had always heard it was slots, which is why there are so many of them in the casinos. But I guess I could see it being keno too.

Not a hipster said...

Keno is basically like playing the lottery (if it's the right game I'm thinking of). My worst experience at a casino: I was in Tucson playing a poker game on the slots. I had bet 4 quarters, and it was a 5 quarter max. I had 3 of the cards needed for a royal straight. It asked if I wanted to bet the other quarter, I said no....and I actually got the straight. I won $200, and if I had bet that measly little last quarter, I would have won over $1,000.

I was pissed.

lulu said...

Not a hispter if you had bet the other quarter you probably wouldn't have got the straight then :)

the peanut said...

lol - JBK and Not a Hipster, you all are crazy...slots are for little old ladies with those paper cups full of quarters!

veganerd said...

the best way to decide if a game has terrible odds is to look at what the payout is. the lower the payout the better your odds are. keno has the highest payout just like the lottery because its essentialy the same thing. blackjack has the lowest payout because your odds are so good. (if you play correctly)
so step right up and place your bets.

Not a hipster said...

Peanut, I had to play poker on the slots because the casino I was at didn't have any live tables.

I did once win a few hundred dollars at a casino in Albuquerque, though. I was playing roulette, and I kept winning, so some old man that was watching gave me a bucket of quarters, told me to go play the slots, and he would split the winnings with me. No lie, I swear. So I played, and lost all of his money. hehe. When I told him that, he gave me another big bucket and told me to play again, but not to cash out my winnings at all until the money was gone. That time I won $200, and he gave me $100. Do you remember that, veganerd?

MOXIE GIRL said...

Heh JBK I will dress up like Joey Heatherton if you take ME to a casino weekend, but I'm not sure how she dresses lol

Blog Archive