I watched the latest episode of “The Apprentice” on Monday night. (Yeah, I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me).
Trump's daughter, Ivanka, was on again (grrowwl) and they were also seriously taunting the fat guy, who finally got fired. So my compulsion to look at a hot, rich, icy blonde, and at a human car wreck, was able to be met in one simultaneously terrible and tacky hour.
The prize this week was getting to cook and eat with Jean Georges, the amazing chef, who has a ridiculously priced restaurant in one of Trump's buildings. And, when The Donald announced the prize, Ivanka just casually glanced over, as if to say, "Oh yes, that's right, Jean Georges is in one of our buildings.”
Not to mention, at one point in the show, as she commented (quite approvingly) of a photo of a model eating food taken for an ad campaign created by one of the teams for this week's contest, Ivanka said – and this is verbatim: “She was ravenous. She was trying to get as much of it in her mouth as possible.”
Anyway, my friend, The Traitor, came over. Now, I don't call her that, my ex does. And, I mean, she literally calls her a traitor - heh.
“Benedict Susan” is the former roommate of a girl I used to date, and, even though the ex and I no longer talk – we would, in fact, probably cross to the other side of the street if we saw the other coming – Susan and I remained friends. Basically, I got custody of the roomie.
The Traitor doesn't even really like “The Apprentice,” but, hell, she got a free dinner - she couldn't resist.
See, I'm renovating my kitchen, and, in the process, of course, getting new appliances. This means I've been making a lot of Omaha Steak products the last few weeks to empty out the freezer before the change happens, much to the delight of my carnivorous friends.
We cracked open a bottle of Shiraz, and I made a couple of filet mignons for dinner, preceded by a tasty Omaha lobster bisque. For a meat-oriented company, I have to tell you, they do a helluva lobster bisque.
So, we ate yummy steak, then curled up on my sumptuous leather couch and drank Scotch. All very, very retro.
If I smoked, I, no doubt, would have slipped into a velvet smoking jacket, lit up a Cuban, and got a back massage while Sinatra was playing.
Come fly with me, indeed.
- ► 2010 (31)
- ► 2009 (199)
- ► 2008 (309)
- ► 2007 (413)
- Can you hear me now?
- Jesus H. Christ
- Join the club
- It's the most wonderful time of the year
- Scalia is such un succhiatore
- They must be heathens
- The terrorists have won
- I loved Crazy Cat on the Cartoon Network
- Well, I must be a goddamn general by now
- I think I need a damn Tampon now
- What am I, Google?
- Ohh mah gaaahhd, like, I know gurrls like thaaat
- Is this the seventh sign of the apocalypse?
- Everything will be good now
- Now, if I can only find a place where they fry bre...
- Lara Logan on fire
- That sounds familiar
- That didn't last long
- Oy gevalt
- I'd be screaming like a little girl
- The sharks were better actors
- Another Bush foreign policy success story
- What - is he in the Rolling Stones?
- He's probably going to be the next Secretary of Labor
- Sanity in South Dakota?
- Pass that buck
- She didn't say anything about black and white cookies
- Greed in the record industry? Shocking!
- Maybe he was just afraid of getting shot in the face?
- What's black and white and yummy all over?
- Seriously, can they get any scummier?
- Steaks and traitors and Scotch – oh my
- In-sane (adj.)
- It's about time
- Ladies, start your engines...of envy
- Can we at least call it a George Horse?
- Tall and tan and young and lovely....
- I hope they were wearing their protective vests
- I hear the call of the loon
- Reading is fundamental
- Corky or Lucy? You make the call
- There better be a goddamn revolution in November
- Good for her
- She wanted a salmon roll...in the hay
- SFX indeed
- His name will suddenly be very appropriate
- What's a little E. coli among friends
- March 14 - what a glorious day
- Is Erica Kane going to be named Secretary of State...
- Another glamorous night in the Big Apple
- The mind absolutely boggles
- Who are these heathens?
- His poll numbers are so bad he had to return to th...
- A bob job vs. a war? Not even close for Sen. Bill ...
- Now THAT'S my type
- Who knew so many people liked carrot juice?
- “That coat check girl has a name.”
- He's actually a small time piker in the usual scal...
- Where are the goddamn angry women?
- I survived!
- Bada bing
- George who?
- Someone didn't get the talking points
- What's wrong with this picture?
- Well, let me transfer my bank account info over to...
- It's a small world after all
- That little filly needs tamed -- and I'm just the ...
- They're just mad Bruce Willis hasn't been nominate...
- Piano Man
- Saturday rejuvenation tip # 26
- Speaking of God, it's about God damn time
- I really want to be an astronaut! No, wait, a fire...
- Now he tells us
- Dance, puppet, dance
- It's one of the seven deadly sins, you know
- Move over Georgina Bloomberg
- What's up with this seeing a celebrity thing?
- ▼ March (82)