Splash

A fake Zimbabwean traditional healer has been found guilty of conning a businesswoman out of $30,000 to pay for mermaids to recover her stolen car.

The money was to have been used to import the mermaids from the UK and accommodate them in a local hotel.

Some of the money was to have been used to pay for a bull, whose genitals would supposedly help find the thief of her luxury vehicle.

- BBC

You know, of all the world's mermaids, I believe it's generally agreed that the U.K.'s mermaids do the best detective work.

And when you add bull genitalia to the mix, well, that car was as good as found until the busybody government got involved. Curse those liberal do-gooders.