Another glamorous night in the Big Apple

I couldn't help myself, and I watched “The Apprentice” again last night (I know, I know, my life is pitiful sometimes).

At the end, the winning team got one of those goofy awards they have been giving out lately, this time swimming with the sharks in an aquarium. It basically consisted of being put in one of those cages and lowered into the water for about a minute. (They still love making fun of the fat guy, too. They are really painting him as a lunatic.)

Let me tell you, I would be goddamn pissed if I was on that show and that turned out to be one of the weekly prizes. In the first season, the winning team usually got something like a shopping spree at Cartier, or at least a fine meal in a great New York restaurant.

Now the prizes are stupid ones, or even, heaven forbid, socially conscious ones. Last week the prize was helping pick out job interview suits for two down-on-their luck men, with stuff from Donald Trump's own tacky clothing line, of course.

That's actually a good cause, and I give all my old suits and sports jackets to a group here in NY called Career Gear, which does that concept. And there's one that helps women too, called Dress for Success, for all you gals out there with too many clothes – yes, I'm talking to you!

But, to be on The Apprentice, and have the prize being to help pick out some clothes? What kind of fucking nonsense is that?

When he announced that was the "award," Trump said something along the lines of, “Instead of a prize for yourself, you will be helping....yadda yadda yadda...and this is a much better reward.” And, of course, one of the ass-kissing contestants smarmily agreed: “Much better, Mr. Trump.”

That's the putz I immediately started rooting against.