Pat Robertson’s head might explode now

Just when you think you’ve seen everything there is to see on the New York City subways, something comes along to remind you that, well, no, you haven’t.

I’ve seen the kids selling Peanut M&Ms for their alleged school trip to Italy. That guy with no bottom half of his body who comes through riding on the little cart and shaking a can full of coins. The Mexican mariachi bands. The bad violin players. The Chinese ladies selling batteries for one dollah, one dollah.

But, I hadn’t seen anything until today.

So, I’m riding in to work this morning and there’s a guy watching a movie on one of those portable DVD players, you know with the little 4-inch screens. He’s on the last spot on one of the benches, I’m in that space by the door, and so I’m immediately to his side and above him, able to look down at a perfect view of the screen.

And what is he watching you ask? An action movie? A TV show? A documentary about the plight of the street children of Calcutta?

No. It is a porno movie.

A porno movie on the Lexington Ave line at 10 in the morning.

Now, he had the headphones on, so, thankfully, you couldn’t hear anything.

But for three stops I watched a blonde give some guy a bob job.

Let’s just say at one point I had to watch out for the closing doors, if you know what I mean.