Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Pat Robertson’s head might explode now

Just when you think you’ve seen everything there is to see on the New York City subways, something comes along to remind you that, well, no, you haven’t.

I’ve seen the kids selling Peanut M&Ms for their alleged school trip to Italy. That guy with no bottom half of his body who comes through riding on the little cart and shaking a can full of coins. The Mexican mariachi bands. The bad violin players. The Chinese ladies selling batteries for one dollah, one dollah.

But, I hadn’t seen anything until today.

So, I’m riding in to work this morning and there’s a guy watching a movie on one of those portable DVD players, you know with the little 4-inch screens. He’s on the last spot on one of the benches, I’m in that space by the door, and so I’m immediately to his side and above him, able to look down at a perfect view of the screen.

And what is he watching you ask? An action movie? A TV show? A documentary about the plight of the street children of Calcutta?

No. It is a porno movie.

A porno movie on the Lexington Ave line at 10 in the morning.

Now, he had the headphones on, so, thankfully, you couldn’t hear anything.

But for three stops I watched a blonde give some guy a bob job.

Let’s just say at one point I had to watch out for the closing doors, if you know what I mean.

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!!!

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of pervs on that subway. You included for watching!

Anonymous said...

anonymous you must be a girl. No guy would turn away from watching that.

Anonymous said...

p.s. - I know girls who would watch it too.

J said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Not a hipster said...

Hell, I'm a girl, and I would keep watching.

I bet a certain someone's head is just spinning round and round and round...

J said...

Hell, I know girls who would stay on extra stops just to watch the end of the scene.

Not a hipster said...

well...that too...

Anonymous said...

I suppose if they had been serving alcohol you would have been in heaven.

Not a hipster said...

Oh, I know I would. What goes better together than beer and porn? In public, no less!

Anonymous said...

jbk - you didnt report the most important part. Did the girl in the movie swallow?

Anonymous said...

lol oh my god. As long as he was only watching and not doing anything with his hands. And I better not be one of those girls you were talking about jbk!!!

Anonymous said...

It amazes me that you all think it is so funny that a man was watching a pornographic movie in public, surrounded by women and maybe children. If this is somehow considered acceptable by jbk and his little buddies I think it is very telling.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you would loosen up a little if you watched it yourself.

Anonymous said...

Where did anyone even say it was acceptable? I just saw people laughing at the absurdness of it.

Anonymous said...

I would not watch a pornographic movie in the privacy of my home never mind on public transportation. You are all sick.

Anonymous said...

is a bob job what I think it is?

Grande Enchilada said...

I am a girl and my subway porn fantasy would be to scream "you fucking, disgusting pig: are you watching porn on the subway? Get a freaking life" at the top of my lungs. Then I would have him arrested for indecent exposure, public obscenity or both.

the dread pirate roberts said...

further evidence that the technological revolution has morphed into the pornographic revolution. KUDOS!

Anonymous said...

Would someone please explain to me what a "bob job" is...?

*so very confused*

dw070 said...

actually Im a guy and I'D turn away, mainly because i find watching porn with a stranger on a subway, slightly creepy.

Not a hipster said...

Julia:

Think of another kind of "job." That's right, blow job.

Anonymous said...

Ok, I saw you from Gawker and I can't figure who is more stupid, the guy doing the dvd porn on the subway or the people who dont know what a bobjob is or the ones who try to seriously explain it?

Anonymous said...

You take yourself so seriously teeks. Its a funny post. so what if someone explaned the bob job?

Anonymous said...

Bob job - can there be anything more funny as a description for that? Unless you're an apple?

Anonymous said...

Im curious why there is a deleted comment above?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, of course she didn't swallow... the guy gave her a facial. After all, it is porn.

Anonymous said...

I have a small porno DVD collection, sub. to Hustler, etc. If I found myself next to some dude who was watching porn on the subway, I would feel nervous, uncomfortable, and somewhat threatened. It's pretty aggressive.

Anonymous said...

lol "facial" Every time I hear that in a commercial for some spa type product I laugh. I wonder if they know the porn meaning?

Anonymous said...

I would feel dazed and confused, but I would still watch the movie.

Anonymous said...

well of course, your name is PORNAGRANTE

Anonymous said...

haha you made a funny.

Sir Captain said...

my homie was riding the metro north recently when some dude plopped down and starting casually leafing through a porno. not playboy with a lot of articles, but one of the serious ball drainers. ain't no thang.
also this one time at a traffic light in dc, an suv pulled up next to me and they were ripping a porno in the headrest monitors. there was also a serious scent of herb eminating from that car.

Anonymous said...

porn and herb, they go together like - porn and booze!

Anonymous said...

Now I'm sitting at my desk at work and horny thinking of facials haha

Anonymous said...

Ok, Why do guys like facials? You're all gross.

Anonymous said...

barbieworld, men are pigs is why they like it. I don't know what the attraction is in them doing that. And why some girls let them.

robotsoncasiotones said...

Bally 107...

are you even fucking serious? you've got your panties in a bunch because women and children were there? why are we equating women with kids? are you too fragile a flower to be exposed to the big bad world of oral sex?

what a moron.

Johnny Cakes but not gay said...

Please be more specific: what train, what car, what exact time. I will take an alternate route to work to witness this miracle.

Anonymous said...

lol - I think I'm going to buy a Metrocard and I have a car!!

Anonymous said...

I think you finally scared away bally107.

Anonymous said...

No you havent. I will come to this or any web site I choose. I just have no interest in reading more about pornography and how everyone thinks it is so funny. And to robotsoncasiotones: women and children should not have to be exposed to porn movies on a train. And if you think thats acceptable then that tells a lot about you.

Not a hipster said...

Are you intolerant of everyone? How do you decide who to be intolerant of, and who to accept? Why don't you allow others to challenge your own thinking, and vice versa? Instead, you just make a joke of yourself and show a lack of intelligence. Until you engage in an actual conversation with someone, I'm just going to continue laughing at everything you say.

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