And before anyone out there gets too excited, I mean as in compulsive. Perv.
I am one of those compulsive types. I'll move a magazine on my desk, just so it runs parallel to the edge. I'll check my alarm clock three or four times before I go to sleep to make sure it's actually turned on. If I see a picture tilted on a wall, I HAVE to straighten it. I have to. It drives me crazy seeing it askew. I don't know why, but I'm just compelled to straighten it.
As an aside, a couple of years ago, I used to date a girl who got a kick out of this. And every time she stayed the night, the next morning, when she would be leaving (she had to go in to work before me, and I'm not a morning person, so I would invariably still be zonked out when she was leaving) she would deliberately tilt one of the pictures in my hallway. The first few times it happened, I didn't think anything of it, would just see the tilted picture and, of course, immediately straighten it. Then I realized it was happening every damn time she was over, and when I asked her if she was doing it, she burst out giggling. The little bitch.
Anyway, this morning, I think I may have reached a new depth.
I'm putting my shaver back on the shelf in the medicine cabinet and it knocks over one of those tiny bottles of shampoo stolen from a hotel (actually, they are there for the taking, so one of those tiny bottles of not stolen shampoo). I sort of saw it fall out of the corner of my eye just as the cabinet door was closing, but, as usual, I was running incredibly late, and, amazingly, did not stop to pick it up.
The problem is, now, I'm actually sitting here thinking about it - I've got to pick that bottle up. I should have done it before I left. Why did I leave it?
And I know the very first thing I'm going to do when I get home is go to the medicine cabinet and pick that damn tiny bottle up and put it right side up.
Oh yes, I have issues.
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- I think he secretly loves her like a fat boy loves...
- Now, of course, I'm gonna watch some football and ...
- A third of the country is retarded?
- Lies? From the Bush administration? I'm shocked
- Some days, I know just how he must have felt
- On a positive note, he always has that yummy chees...
- She sure beats Rita Cosby
- Why do I get the feeling these guys have never act...
- Swanee, how I love ya
- I blame Bush
- I think at about 5 am, I actually heard the electr...
- Drip, drip, drip
- It's never Dear Leader's fault
- Hey Georgina, I voted for your dad, you know
- And now it begins
- God Bless the President
- Give the GOP a taste of their own medicine
- Happy Pres Day
- I'm sure this is somehow sexist - but in a casuall...
- It's funny until someone loses an eye
- The fuckers get more vacation time than me
- NYC winter tip # 7
- Hey, I need a hot blonde naturally endowed sugar m...
- Also, I'm just lazy
- Un - &#$(@%* - believable
- Could I be (gasp!) a closet Republican?
- I suppose they’ll be calling for live televised ex...
- Well that explains Tom DeLay
- “I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is goi...
- Like Valentine's Day - and Dick Cheney - it just s...
- Your tax dollars at work
- "The creature dies in earnest"
- Forget the Olympic athletes
- The Dick speaks
- Cheap bastard note to self
- Bush-bashing, NYC life, stupid media, wacky friend...
- So much dirt it’s hard to keep track
- Cheney's been smoked out
- The quails are coming home to roost
- Say, why are all these balloon bouquets being deli...
- Too much? Even for loyal fans of “Dear Leader?”
- Random thoughts # 35 and # 36
- He’s an even bigger dick than you thought
- The looting and pillaging continues
- Truly a Dick
- And we laugh at the North Koreans?
- What do you mean you don’t want to watch the 2 a.m...
- Then he drove a carving knife through the sternum ...
- I hope the people in 23-L don't resort to cannibalism
- Such good kitties
- At the 3 p.m. show, she will be working with some...
- Although “Cathy” does make me want to riot sometim...
- Drip, drip, drip
- I believe the correct term is anal
- Gratuitous picture of the week
- She’s got bigger balls than most of the men in the...
- Do I have an evil twin? Of course, maybe I’m the e...
- I think one of my friends gave me A-D-D
- What the hell is this place?
- And Steve Jobs continues to take over the world bi...
- Wait till Jenna starts running the Department of A...
- Pat Robertson’s head might explode now
- It’s not prime rib?
- Don't take my Kodachrome away
- I'm going to turn this car around if you kids don'...
- Couldn't be happening to a nicer guy
- Does this mean the raccoon-eyed makeup look is bac...
- And you just know they have video games, too
- See. He's not a total derelict
- Hard to believe he screwed up a war, the economy, ...
- All signs to the contrary, I'm not totally cluele...
- R.I.P. Betty Friedan
- She shakes her little tushy on the catwalk
- Has the Bush administration taken over Blogspot?
- Was it the entry that began "Tom DeLay, a giant am...
- It's a small world after all
- Our mayor's richer than your mayor
- The gentleman from Ohio casts 3 votes for...
- As heard on the crosstown bus
- Nosy bastards
- I don't even have a "safe word"
- Up is down
- Get it in XL - they always shrink
- At least he wasn't on his cellphone
- Remind me, who are the animals, again?
- Can you hear me now?
- They should have held up some Jenna Jameson DVDs a...
- I couldn't actually see any pinky rings - but I kn...
- Quick, alert the Pulitzer committee
- But what will happen to the integrity of the league?
- Maybe the next rehab story will be real
- Random thoughts on Smirky McChimp and his speechif...
- Wings and beer vs. an hour of Bush? Oh yeah, tough...
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