Monday, June 15, 2015

Um, what? A Lifetime movie with Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig?


A mere month and a half after I confessed my guilty pleasure habit of watching cheesy Lifetime Movies, comes news that two of the biggest names in comedy, Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig, are starring in what looks to be a prototypical and delicious Lifetime movie, A Deadly Adoption.



I assume they have the same love for the genre as do I and probably hundreds - if not thousands - of others.

Does Barbara Niven have a part in it?

Saturday, June 13, 2015

A California chardonnay on a cloudy Manhattan day.


Sunday, May 03, 2015

The art of the Lifetime movie

God help me, I love a good cheesy Lifetime movie.

Although after you watch a couple, you wonder why women don't stay cowering in their homes at all time avoiding men, because in the Lifetime universe woman are constantly being stalked and kidnapped and attacked and held prisoner.

By their con artist new boyfriends.

By their ex-boyfriends.

By their new husbands with a secret past.

By their seemingly loving husband's mistress.

By their bosses.

And - this is a particular Lifetime favorite - by their creepy neighbor. The kind who inexplicably can easily gain access to their home and plant video cameras to spy on them before kidnapping them.

I can barely change the battery in my smoke detector without falling off the chair, but these guys just calmly waltz into the suburban split level next door, set up a few hidden cameras, and bide their time. Then they kidnap the woman and hold her prisoner in their specially-constructed basement jail.

The acting is not exactly Emmy material, the plots are hilariously unlikely (although many are supposedly based on true stories), and they all seem to be taped (never filmed) in the same sterile Canadian suburb substituting for a sterile U.S. suburb.

I just saw a classic in the creepy neighbor/kidnapping genre, "Kept Woman." The Lifetime description tells you all you need to know: "Jessica and her fiancĂ© Evan just moved from the city into their dream home on a quiet suburban street. Soon after, Jessica catches her seemingly friendly new neighbor, Simon, in a strange lie and can't let her suspicions rest. The danger escalates when Simon lures her inside his home and imprisons Jessica in his secret bunker, meticulously decorated in the idealized style of the 1950's. Here she meets Robin, a woman who's been held captive by Simon for several years and brainwashed into living as his faithful companion - a fate that is now set for Jessica unless she can somehow find a way to escape from Simon’s time-warped prison. Inspired by true events."


This had it all. Stalking, kidnapping, a basement bunker - right next door to the house where her fiance still lived!!!! - as well as a brainwashed fellow captive. It's really worth checking out if you like these things.


It has the added bonus of featuring an enormously obese fellow who is some sort of computer whiz and who helps Evan eventually track down and rescue Jessica. He's like a tubby Chloe O'Brian. 

 These movies rarely have anyone famous in them. The unfortunate Jessica was played by Courtney Ford, who I've seen in a few things but couldn't have told you her name until I IMDb'd it. She is, however, married to Brandon "Superman" Routh, so there is that.

Also, someone named Barbara Niven is in approximately 83 percent of Lifetime movies.








 




Friday, October 10, 2014

The Wasilla Hillbillies





The Anchorage police finally released their report on that drunken party brawl that the Palin family was involved in a few weeks ago, and let's just say we dodged a major bullet when this family of snowbillies didn't get to come anywhere near the White House. Or 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue, as Sarah would say.


In the report, one of Sarah and Todd's delightful and very classy daughters, Willow, is quoted as saying people at the party were chanting "Fuck the Palins!" She misunderstood. Fuck the Palins is the motto of the Wasilla High School football team. The crowd was just showing school spirit.

Enjoy.


Anchorage PD report on Palin drunken brawl


Oh, and thanks again, John McCain, for wanting this woman to be an old man's heartbeat away from the presidency.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

The not very bright, in fact, quite confused, unfriendly skies of United Airlines

Do the customer service reps at United Airlines even read the emails sent to them? And if they do, do they understand them?

When I have to contact companies, I write somewhat concisely and sensibly and politely, I really, really do. Apparently, United employs some folks who don't read sensibly.

Or maybe they do and just like to dick you around.

Long story short, back in May they offered 500 bonus miles in their MileagePlus frequent flyer program if you completed two out of four activities. When I did not get the bonus miles, I sent, what I thought, was a simple, polite inquiry. This is a verbatim email exchange with their reps.

(And, yes, I know this is not the worst thing United has done, but Jesus is it annoying when they don't seem to understand not particularly complicated sentences.).



Hi United,
 
I signed up for the 500 bonus miles offer of May 23 (awarded if used 2 of the options available). I completed an Opinion Miles Club Survey on 5/23 and made a purchase on bestbuy.com through Mileage Plus Shopping on 6/2, and both of these activities have posted to my account but the bonus miles have not. Can you help.
 
Thanks, 

---------------------
Hello,
 
We’re always glad to hear from MileagePlus® members like you. Thanks for writing.
 
The Miles out of your purchases is already posted on your account.Click on the “View Activity Since My Last Statement” link on the “My Account” page to view the flight(s).
 
In regard to your Miles for Opinion Club Survey you may do some follow ups on this telephone  number 1.866.360.9568
 
Don't hesitate to contact us again if there’s any other way we can help.
 
Regards,
 
Norman Amis
MileagePlus 

--------------------------------

Norman, thank you for the reply but I have to wonder if you guys actually read the initial note? As I said, the points for the purchase and opinion club survey were posted, it is the 500 bonus points I am missing.
Thank you,

-------------------------------

Hello,
 
Thanks for taking the time to write to us. We’re glad to hear from you.
 
Members normally earn a variety or different amount of bonus miles once you join and take a survey in the Opinion Miles Club. If you feel that the miles posted on your account is incorrect, please call 1-866-360-9568 for a representative to assist you.
 
Whenever possible, we try to accommodate our customers' requests and are sorry that we cannot do so in this instance since we don't handle posting of miles from our non-airline partners.  We value your business and look forward to serving you in the future.
 
Regards,
 
Marie Mercado
MileagePlus  

----------------------------------------------------- 


Marie, holy moly why is this so hard for you guys to understand? And this is why I wondered if you actually read the emails? It's not about an Opinion Miles survey. Let me try again and please try to read this time:  I got an email from Mileage Plus offering 500 BONUS miles if I completed 2 of 4 options, which included a Opinion Miles survey and a purchase made through Mileage Plus Shopping. I did that, I completed an Opinion Miles Club Survey and I made a purchase through Mileage Plus Shopping. Both of these activities have posted to my account but the bonus miles have not.
Do you folks know your own promotions? 
Again this is not particularly complicated - I got the miles for the survey, I got the miles for the purchase. I did not get the 500 Bonus Miles.
Thank you,


-------------------------------------

Are Norman and Marie being obnoxious on purpose? Do they not actually understand English? Did Marie just skim over Norman's response, saw something about the survey so plugged in answer C-12?  Was Marie giving Normal a hummer under his desk while he laughed at my emails?

Is it any wonder Virgin America wins Favorite Airline of the Year award every damn year lately?













Sunday, November 24, 2013

Walking Dead mystery

Why would you bother tucking your shirt in after the zombie apocalypse?

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Loving the new Motorola

My Moto X downloaded the newest version of Android 4.4. Kit-Kat this afternoon, and that's a very nice update turnaround time for both Moto and Verizon Wireless.

Hopefully an already good phone is going to get even better.


Thursday, November 14, 2013

Great sunsets this time of year

Are they sure they have the right Kate?

Playboy announced Kate Moss is doing a nude photo shoot for their pages.










  And while she's certainly got a look, I'm guessing a Kate Upton nude photo shoot might sell a little better.

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